What is the big deal against One-ItIs threads

[ILikeCandy]

The definitions of One-itis aren’t even consistent.

Legonz describes One-Itis as infatuation.
“One-itis is defined as an infatuation with another individual who does not return those same feelings.”
Infatuation is you chasing her. And she isn’t chasing you.

Sovereign describes One-Itis as a long distance relationship.
“you begin to chase an image of the girl, a dream of her, and your possible future, but it isn't her anymore.”
This is so true of a long distance relationship.

What is the big problem with starting threads about One-itis?
We all have to start somewhere.
Just because they are concentrating on one girl, at this time, does not mean they are only, ever, going to chase this one girl.

So the poor, love, sick, puppy is practicing what he is learning, on this one girl. He will crash and burn. Then he will learn how to not crash and burn. Then he will move on to other girls(plural).

I’d hate to tell you, but we only have one dick.
I’m sorry, but it is true.
You can only have sex with one girl at a time.

You can take home multiple women, but you can only be in the middle of one, at a time.
Is this One-itis? You are only in the middle of only one woman, even though you have four on the floor, waiting for more.

Having sex with only one woman, at a time, is like only chasing one girl, at a time. You are only chasing this one woman, now, but you will be chasing other women, later.

Every chain, even of women, begins with one link.

[DeadEyeDick]

The purpose of the Forum is learning how to meet and attract more women into your life ... how to improve yourself as a man ... how to improve your social circle, your lifestyle and more.

If you read through the pile of crash-and-burn one-itis threads, you'll see that many guys are pining after women who are either not interested and have stated that more than one way, or are actively DISINTERESTED.

The world is filled with available women -- focusing on that one special snowflake who doesn't give a fuck about you is not a high-leverage activity.

You said "You can only have sex with one girl at a time."

Pining after a chick who's long gone isn't about have sex with one girl, it's about having sex with your own hand.

I hope that illuminates the situation.

[ILikeCandy]

Originally Posted by DeadEyeDick

The purpose of the Forum is learning how to meet and attract more women into your life ... how to improve yourself as a man ... how to improve your social circle, your lifestyle and more.

If you read through the pile of crash-and-burn one-itis threads, you'll see that many guys are pining after women who are either not interested and have stated that more than one way, or are actively DISINTERESTED.

The world is filled with available women -- focusing on that one special snowflake who doesn't give a fuck about you is not a high-leverage activity.

That is all well and good.

But you are not helping him by only saying the Attraction Forum cop-out "Just Move On." He can't move on until he learns how he failed.

He learns by failing. He chases 1 girl, she wants him to blow off, he doesn't. So he eventually fails.

Then he comes back here, posts his One-itis romance novel, and takes his medicine. By learning how and where he messed up.

Eventually, he will learn, on his own, to chase as many women as he produces sperm in one second.

But you can't cut him off at the second paragraph, by locking the thread. He won't make it to the third paragraph. Therefore he won't learn what he did wrong. He will stay in that loop of: chasing ONE girl, getting blown off, then chasing another ONE girl, and getting blown off, etc.

[Playboi 4 Cali]

that trick is to chase as many girls as possible and then choose the one that stands out the most to you, or maybe thats just how i do it. (or if you have game you can make them chase you instead) i only want the best if its not the best then it doesnt deserve me. good hunting man

[Braddock]

Originally Posted by DeadEyeDick

The purpose of the Forum is learning how to meet and attract more women into your life ... how to improve yourself as a man ... how to improve your social circle, your lifestyle and more.

If you read through the pile of crash-and-burn one-itis threads, you'll see that many guys are pining after women who are either not interested and have stated that more than one way, or are actively DISINTERESTED.

The world is filled with available women -- focusing on that one special snowflake who doesn't give a fuck about you is not a high-leverage activity.

You said "You can only have sex with one girl at a time."

Pining after a chick who's long gone isn't about have sex with one girl, it's about having sex with your own hand.

I hope that illuminates the situation.

Well said.

[Vapor]

You are not being honest here.

Originally Posted by ILikeCandy

That is all well and good.

But you are not helping him by only saying the Attraction Forum cop-out "Just Move On." He can't move on until he learns how he failed.

"How did I screw this up?" is a legitimate question. I'd be interested in seeing a locked one-itis thread where the poster was only interested in what went wrong for future reference. We don't restrict those. People with one-itis often don't like the answer they get, but they can ask how they blew it.

Of course, guys with one-itis never stop there. They want to know how they can "turn it around."

But you can't cut him off at the second paragraph, by locking the thread. He won't make it to the third paragraph. Therefore he won't learn what he did wrong. He will stay in that loop of: chasing ONE girl, getting blown off, then chasing another ONE girl, and getting blown off, etc.

Nonsense, the learning process doesn't work that way. Guys don't get one-itis over and over again when they're doing approaches regularly. That should be OBVIOUS if you are approaching girls on a regular basis.

[ILikeCandy]

Originally Posted by Vapor

"How did I screw this up?" is a legitimate question. I'd be interested in seeing a locked one-itis thread where the poster was only interested in what went wrong for future reference. We don't restrict those.

Of course, guys with one-itis never stop there. They want to know how they can "turn it around.

That is a good. They want to know how to get the girl back. THOSE Threads you close.
The others you let play out.
Got It.
Thank you Vapor.

[Upgraydd]

I just want to say that I understand the position that you guys are taking against one-itis. If you read my first post you'll see that I found this forum after after being devastated by a recent one-itis. (Kind of upsetting to see it moved to Jive Turkey but I understand the reasoning.) It seems that what is being expressed here is a kind of tough love. The understanding being that we one-itis victims are aren't quite thinking rationally and will often go on and on with endless posts about 'how do I get this one girl'. That is true as far as it goes, and so I don't think it's an altogether bad decision by the mods to restrict the one-itis posts. However I do want to point this out- and I can't stress this strongly enough guys- we tend to poke fun at one-itis (the name itself is kind of a joke)- but don't ever forget that this disease is sometimes FATAL. I had a good friend who killed himself over a gal recently and I never want that to happen again. Which is why I think it might be good to establish some sort of one-itis forum where people can at least read other member's stories and know that they are not alone in this. I know there is the memorial in Jive Turkey Droppings, and maybe that's enough. Somehow though it seems like there should be a dedicated sub-forum or something. Maybe a "Welcome to One-itis" in the best of or newbie section? Just thinking out loud here. I'm a newb myself but would be glad to help with any writing.

[Cedar]

Originally Posted by ILikeCandy

...What is the big problem with starting threads about One-itis?...

Newbies don't recognize their post as being one-itis. We don't blame them for not knowing. We tell them to move on. And end the conversation.

Originally Posted by ILikeCandy

...Just because they are concentrating on one girl, at this time, does not mean they are only, ever, going to chase this one girl...

If they understood the abundance of women, they wouldn't pine over one girl. They would focus on their skill. They would move on.

Originally Posted by ILikeCandy

...So the poor, love, sick, puppy is practicing what he is learning, on this one girl...

That's the issue. You can't practice on one girl. You practice on MANY girls. When it stops working in your favour, you move on. Their is no damage control. There is no second chance. There is only a second girl.

Originally Posted by ILikeCandy

He will crash and burn. Then he will learn how to not crash and burn. Then he will move on to other girls(plural).

No. He won't. He'll try what he's learned on this girl and fail. He'll assume he learned wrong. He'll find more advice. Buy another book. Another DVD. And try again. On the same girl. And eventually... give up in frustration and forget all about PUA.

[ILikeCandy]

Originally Posted by Cedar

Newbies don't recognize their post as being one-itis. We don't blame them for not knowing. We tell them to move on. And end the conversation.

And how is ending the conversation helping?????
If someone has a question, and you lock him out, it will only piss him off. If he doesn't get the answer to his question, he is not going to take a cop-out like "Just Move On."

Once you answer his question, explain to him why it is better to move on, then he will move on. And he will know why.

It is counterproductive to just shut him out.

Originally Posted by Cedar

If they understood the abundance of women, they wouldn't pine over one girl. They would focus on their skill. They would move on.

Of course they understand the abundance of women. How can anyone not. You see women everyday.

Originally Posted by Cedar

That's the issue. You can't practice on one girl. You practice on MANY girls. When it stops working in your favour, you move on. Their is no damage control. There is no second chance. There is only a second girl.

Some men have begun to be influenced by the women's point of view, that you should only have one person.

YOU can practice on one girl. You can practice every step on one girl. Even you, Cedar, have practiced on one girl. Only you have practiced on one girl, many times.

There is a second chance. If the girl likes you, she will give you a second chance.

Originally Posted by Cedar

No. He won't. He'll try what he's learned on this girl and fail. He'll assume he learned wrong. He'll find more advice. Buy another book. Another DVD. And try again. On the same girl. And eventually... give up in frustration and forget all about PUA.

YES HE WILL! He will eventually move on. Like you said above "When it stops working in your favour, you move on." He will eventually get the hint, become frustrated, and move on. Even if in the mean time he finds more advice and ideas, he will eventually HAVE TO move on.

Then he will come back here and say that you were right, not to focus on one girl at a time.


Which is why Mr. Crappy's idea is a good one.

Originally Posted by MrCrappy

I think it might be good to establish some sort of one-itis forum.
It seems like there should be a dedicated sub-forum or something. Maybe a "Welcome to One-itis" in the newbie section?

Establish a forum for people who are hooked on one person. Where advanced members, like yourself, COULD post comments such as "Just Move On." Or even more constructive advice or even a link to more constructive advice.

What is it to anyone, if a guy is hooked on one girl? If you don't like it, don't post anything.

Like I said, shutting them out by locking their thread or moving their thread to a locked forum, isn't helping anyone.