Hey Nighthawk,
I think you should have done a few things differently. I can't say I'm even close to an expert on these matters, but this is my take
Firstly, you hanging out hinging on whether or not
her friend is visiting isn't you being in control of the interaction. Hanging out with her friend may be a higher priority than seeing you, but that doesn't mean you can't swing it so you've got a bit more control. Maybe something like,
Her: "My friend from California may be visiting me, so I don't know yet..."
You: "Aww, your friend loooveess you -- that should be fun!"
Her: "Blah Blah"
You: "Hey -- I've gotta run, we'll rain check it or something. Have fun."
Her: "Thanks."
If it's another guy, and they have history -- I'm not sure if there's much you can do, so I'd say just be chill and don't even try to hang out with her... she's basically telling you, you're a backup. Don't be the backup.
If it's a girl, whatever -- let her have her girls night out... if you play it right, you'll probably come up in conversation and her girlfriend will probably affirm that you sound cool. That's always good.
Also, with this route -- you don't text or call her later that day, because you're off doing your own thing. If her phone was off, she may not even have received your call -- but she probably got your text message later which I think lost you points.
Then you called her Thursday and played off female curiosity -- but then you don't even satisfy it when she calls; that's not fun... and on top of that, you tell her you can't talk that long but that you want to see her again. You should have stuck to your "I'm busy" frame more adamantly,
~she calls~
You: "Hey what's up kiddo?"
Her: "Hey! I saw you called... what's up with this [interesting story]?"
You: "Ya, it's ABSURD! My friend Billy met this crazy girl... let's just say we found out how flammable his car was -- but you know what, I'm a little swamped at work so we'll chat later about it -- you'll freaking love it!"
Her: "Okay, bye!"
Dropping a tidbit about the story to satisfy her curiosity somewhat will make the phone call a bit more fun. This way you also aren't even telegraphing a desire to see her, just that you have something interesting to talk about with her. After you call her later, and talk about this awesome story (which better actually be
fucking awesome) and she has a great time you can maybe drop something like,
You: "So, you like my stories -- you've got good taste."
Her: "Blah blah"
You: "You're either one of the coolest girls I've met in a while, or a brilliant stalker..."
Her: "Omigod, I am not a stalker! Haha dork"
You: "I dunno... I don't know if I feel comfortable going out with you, you might
only be interested in putting up extremely inappropriate and embarrassing bondage videos of me up on Youtube, or even worse...sex"
blah blah -- playful and fun banter... you could probably try and setup hanging out here with ease. But, when she calls... she tells you, you can
come see her on Saturday; I normally wouldn't stress too hard on something subtle like this, but it seems like at this point she's just seeing how much you're willing to chase -- and I agree that you shouldn't have told her you didn't like the idea but you'd do it. More points lost -- you're quickly just becoming another guy she has wrapped around her finger.
Then...
You don't even go -- that was actually a decent move, given the situation. Especially if you had a frame like:
<<
You were gonna stop by to say what's up, but another girl called you up and you went somewhere else -- so by the next day, you totally forgot and didn't care that you didn't go to see her on Saturday... because you're a high status male.>>
Then if you call her later (2-3 days or something?) with some other interesting story that happened to you, and then after she's having a good time again -- try to hang out, or end the conversation and resume later to ask her out.
But... you texted her -- after you didn't show... trying to see her outside of work; I'm not too good at assuming a female perspective, but I think that was your last straw. You proved at that point to her, that you were completely under her spell and she was your sole focus -- you weren't even trying to go to the bar, where for example, a high status male could take the opportunity to flirt with other girls in front of her
! So naturally, when you called her later she had no intention of getting back to you.
This girl is
done. Maybe if you see her in a few weeks -- if you amped up your game, you could have a shot... but I'd just say take that amped up game, and use it on a new girl.
I know this was a bit long -- hopefully some part of it was remotely helpful. I'm still learning myself, and wouldn't be surprised if I'm in a dream land haha....
...but it's my dream land! :P
Cheers!
- 
Guys- need feedback
Nighthawk and his girls....
Linear Mode
