LMR, Microflinches, Abundance & Being Genuine

[Fader]

Microflinches is a term that comes from the blink. Blink is a nyt bestseller and an amazing book... I suggest everyone read it. The basic idea is that there are these little subtle ticks that we are not even aware of that give off tons of information about our current state. In poker these are called "Tells".

I had a really interesting experience with a girl on a day 2. Lately I have been trying to be as positive as possible and really come from a place of giving value. This girl is Dominican, off the boat and has only slept with one guy in her entire life (her former fiance). I built alot of comfort with her and she was over at my house on the day 2. I kept escalating and escalating and every time she felt uncomfortable I pulled away. She kept asking me are you ok are you ok and I said it's fine. I said you like me and I like you, you just have this little clock in your head that hasn't said you are ready to sleep with me yet. I totally respect that. She kept like really intensely staring at me each time I told her it was fine.

Throughout the night we would make out and I would try to escalate and she would stop me and each time she would look for these microflinches when she asked me if I was ok (I know this because later on I asked her about it... we will talk about that in a second). What's interesting was it was not a techinique I was using... I was just being genuine. It WAS ok and I WAS cool with it and I WILL wait till she is comfortable enough. I think this goes back to the classic idea of scarcity vs abundance.

Later on while we were laying in bed (fully clothed) I asked why she kept looking in my eyes when asking me if I was ok. She told me that she couldn't believe that a man would be ok with that and I must be using some trick on her. Then she told me that she had her period but if she didn't she would sleep with me right now.

What I am trying to say is having an abundance mentality just really transcends everything else. Not just in pickup but in life. The glass is always more then half full kids. Feel free to read this amazing post here Adopt a philosophy of abundance

Hope this helps someone

[ware_ru]

yep, good post. "Flinch" is really the best word to describe it; I remember sinn had a post about it something like anything will work as long as you don't flinch. I can't remember the exact details.

As a bonus to this post, one of your pieces reminded me of an lmr technique i just read in td's archive, you basically say something along the lines of "listen i understand it's fine. We like each other and we both know we're going to have sex and I'm totally fine if it doesn't happen now, balhbalbah." It was a bit more subtle than that but essentially the point is you get her to think in her mind that you two fucking is a foregone conclusion, so that basically her "number" already increased whether you have sex that night or another night, and the asd of having sex with you is mitigated.

[Fader]

Originally Posted by ware_ru

yep, good post. "Flinch" is really the best word to describe it; I remember sinn had a post about it something like anything will work as long as you don't flinch. I can't remember the exact details.

He talked about not flinching during windows of escalation.