The world is yours (Confidence boost)

[Clawn]

When you walk in any unfamiliar environment, do you feel at ease? Or do you try to just blend in as much as possible?

What you need to do is adopt an inner state of comfort, familiarity and overall confidence. It’s a pretty easy trick, but first you’ve got to understand how it works. Feel the difference between the following situations:

-Imagine that you’re on your first day at your new job. There are a lot of people around you. Everything is new and you don’t really know exactly what to do. How do you feel?

-Now imagine that you’re having a great party at your place. There are a lot of people around you. You talk to strangers as if you’re “the man”. How do you feel?

In the first situation, you probably feel some degree of discomfort(depending on the exact situation). You’re not really sure of yourself and that causes you to give off a nervous, insecure vibe. Even when you’re consciously trying to look confident or “cool”.

In the second situation, you feel a sense of comfort, familiarity, confidence and overall VALUE. It’s YOUR place, YOU decide what’s going to happen. Everything revolves (directly or indirectly) around YOU. It’s as if you automatically feel that you have more value, which is sub-communicated in the way you move, talk etc.

Apply this feeling in normal life. -Walk around as if you own the place-. Adopt that mentality of comfort and confidence. It’s YOUR life, YOUR world, everyone else is just part of it. It gives off a subtle vibe of natural confidence which people pick up on, consciously or subconsciously. Men feel you have power, women feel attraction towards you.

This doesn’t mean that you’re better then everyone else, it’s just your world and therefore you have the right to live it the way you want it to. All other people live in their own worlds, they have the same right. When you talk to a girl, it’s not two people talking but rather two worlds meeting. That creates an interesting view doesn’t it.

This has helped me a lot personally. It really gives you that natural confidence glow around you. And best of all, it makes you feel better in general in any situation.

Every time that you go somewhere, remember that it’s you who decides how you feel.

Any insights are always welcome.

[dreamweaver]

That's a good visualization exercise. Some body language things that could complement this. Let's say you walk in a bar or social scene and you don't know very many people. You may be feeling tense, insecure, nervous. Do this:

- Walk in like you own the place
- Stand up straight, chin high
- Walk with long strides, walk on your heals (walking with small steps on toes shows weakness, do the opposite)
- Walk with purpose, like your going somewhere, even if that is to the bathroom or to the other side of the bar because you don't know anyone shouldn't just stand in one place. Don't walk slow like you don't know where you are or are going.
- Smile, this should actually be at the top of the list
- Face and pay attention to who you are talking to instead of scanning the room. Guys who own the place are not scanning the room looking for chicks.

If you do this enough, you are likely to actually feel confident and feel like you own the place, even if you don't. Did you know that if your force yourself to smile with a fake smile, it is hard to be mad or sad. The mind leads the body but the body can also lead the mind. Same goes for the above, walk and talk like you are confident and you are likely to become confident.

[Clawn]

Good point Dreamweaver. Body language really adds to your 'glow'. You're right about the smile, when you smile (even when faking) your brain releases certain 'happy' chemicals which makes you feel better.

[cornbread]

Good advice. The game really is nothing more than a mindset. You create the interactions between yourself and others, so might as well make it the best you can.

[Sun Slayer]

Originally Posted by cornbread

The game really is nothing more than a mindset.

I hate to question your years of experience and unqualified authority, but um, no it's not. Why, then would Mystery and company have a well organized system that has attracted tens of thousands of followers and devotees, if all you need was to be in the right mindset?

Really, that is the whole point of the MM. Inner game is important, but following a fairly strait forward progression from opening to closing is what gets you laid. I've seen a lot of confident guys get nowhere because they just didn't know what to do. They had the right mindset, but not the knowledge. That is what we are here to discuss.

love,
Ss

[Clawn]

You both have a point. Ofcourse there's no single thing that makes you a great PUA but yeah, mindset is VERY important. If your mindset is right, then you will naturally act like it. Add all the techniques that you know and you'll become a great PUA!

[TheRealDeal08]

True story. When I drink I am confident..but still not getting laid. Thus me needing to learn what to do to go from creeper that is drunk and confident to Cassanova that opens victoria's secret..

[Clawn]

When you drink, you will get more confidence (actually it's more a "fuck it who cares"- state). But keep in mind that you will not run a tight game. Ever.

However, I used to drink when I was starting out. My goal wasn't to run a good game, but at first just to get familiar with the idea of cold approaches.

[Lucretius]

Heh, I just did this tonight actually. Pre-funked before a party, went over — got off to a rough start so I just befriended the guys. Made out with a girl while dancing, then danced with another one before the cops showed up. I am underage, so I got the fuck out of there, and now I'm here posting!

Liquid courage is my friend, but I would like to be able to do this stuff sober! Comically enough, a girl I had randomly decided to talk to a few weeks ago remembered me — and she ended up showing up to the party! Didn't get her number because I made a hasty exit, but oh well, I'm sure I'll see her around. Making connections is easy in college.