I found this in my archives; I wrote it long time ago for another self-help forum. This will make you feel better about yourself. This shit is simple but you have to do it, otherwise it's just going to be another "self-help post" you've read.
.......If one specific area needs broader explanation, let me know, i'll write something up. This should come natural after few weeks.
So..........
Being social does not always mean that you have to get out there and meet people ever day and all the time. Of course, sitting at home watching TV is not going to help you become more social. But there are many things that you must do on your own before you can be popular around your circle of friends.
So let’s begin.
1
Assess your value to a group. I am going to use word ‘group’ to refer to any group of people you would like to make yourself part of. We tend to hang out with people that bring us something. Yes, we are that selfish. Every time you meet someone, you assess his value to you. You might not do it consciously; in fact, you might not even recognize that you are doing it. Don’t worry; this is normal. Our brains are hardwired to Survive. We judge everything and everyone that comes our way to; we do this in order to find out if this thing (or person) will help us survive. (Or if it’ll hurt us). For example, if person is funny, we will be drawn to him, because laughter increases our immune system, I bet you didn’t know that. Or, if person is well connected, we will be drawn to him to seek protection and safety under him or his friends. In modern world, we do not need to do this, because, we have monetary system and we have trade. We can trade our intelligence for paycheck and paycheck for protection (paying taxes for police, fire, paramedics, etc.) So what we still look for, right now, is excitement. We need something to fill our dull, boring, lives. So we watch TV, listen to comedians, talk with friends, or do drugs. People are bored. What does this mean to you? Help them fill this gap! Have something interesting to say. Read interesting news, listen to celebrity news, watch funny shows, learn interesting facts, do anything that you can use later on to bring entertainment to your ‘target audience’. You are expanding your value by learning new things.
2
Have time to recharge. This is important. While becoming more social, you will start noticing that people suck the energy right out of you. When you give and give more, you have nothing left for yourself. So, get good sleep, exercise, eat properly and spend some time alone. If you don’t sleep well, your brain cannot produce enough endorphins to function properly. If you do not exercise, your adrenaline level drops and you lose interest in your surroundings; and of course, if you eat a lot of sugars and fats, all your energy is being consumed by food digestion and not intelligent conversation. Eat protein, wheat breads and lots of vegetables and fruits.
3
READ. Reading is another important aspect worth noting. This is part of step 1, but I will cover it in great depth later. If you could remember one thing then remember to exercise your brain. Learn something new everyday. Solve puzzles. Read a book about unfamiliar field. You never know when the last article on Quantum leap will come in handy while socializing with a cute physicist.
4
Create a list of topics you enjoy talking about. Do not pick anything overly controversial: Pro-choice vs. Pro-life is not a good topic, however, should Pluto be expunged from our galaxy is. Write them down.
5
Write. Yes. Write and write some more. When you write you are stimulating your creative brain. Write down funny stories from your life. Can’t think of any? I bet your friends had funny things happened to them. Use that. Think of last unusual thing that happened. Write about it. All good speakers prepare their speech before final delivery. You should, too. Even though you are not giving a speech, however, writing your stories will help you remember them. Do you remember many times, in aftermath, when you hit yourself on the forehead because you forgot to tell ‘that funny story when Marina went to the dentist’?
6
Talk to yourself. That’s correct. Find a secluded place to do that. (You don’t want people thinking you are nuts. Don’t worry about neighbors, they will think you are on the phone) Give imaginary audience a speech. Pick a random topic. This will help you diction. The sound of your voice is very important when it comes to telling your stories. Some people are unsuccessful in life because they have ‘sheepish’ voice. Also, when you talk to yourself, you can practice proper delivery. Remember that 7% is what you say and 93% is how you say it. Delivery! Delivery! And Delivery! So practice, pausing at critical moments to emphasize a point or speaking in lover voice during pivotal points in your story to get people’s undivided attention. Practice. I will write an article about that.
7
Exercise. And we are not talking about your abs here. Nope! We are going to work out your vocal chords. Here is a quick routine, you should do at least before you go out:
1. Open your mouth and start yawning. As wide as you can. I am yawning just by writing about it; you should be too. Yawn! Wider!
2. With your mouth open (while yawning) say “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” feel it vibrate through your chest.
3. Now you have opened up your throat. Close your mouth and say “woooooooooooooo” then “weeeeeeeeeee” …repeat this couple times. This will tighten your lips
4. Now hum a little bit (Best to hum “Happy Birthday to Me!”)
5. and with loosen lips repeat:
- a. bee bay bah boh boo
b. mee may mah moh moo
c. pee pay pah poh poo
d. wee way wah who woo
e. vee vay vah hoh voo
f. zhee zhay zhah zhoh zhoo
g. chee chay chay choh choo
6. and with loosen tongue say:
- a. dee day dah doh doo
b. tee tay tah toh too
c. gee gay gah goh goo
d. kee kay kah koh koo
e. zee zay zah zoh zoo
f. see say sah soh soo
g. pee pay pah poh poo.
when you done singing you are ready to go.
You can practice these voice exercises in the car on the way to a social event.
8
Breathe! This one will help you speak in a deeper voice. You want to project confidence when you talk. Try breathing with your diaphragm. Lie down on the floor and put your hand on your belly: palm down. Breathe in so your hand rises and your stomach fills with air. Do not force stomach up by stretching muscles. It should be actually expanded due to air in your lower part of your lungs. Exhale and feel your hand sink down. Do this several times. Deep in, deep out. Learn to breathe that way. You will be amazed at the results you’ll get.
9
Be Clean. This is a huge topic and I will cover it in many other articles. But in essence: shower at least once a day. If you’ve been sweating a lot (or you naturally a sweaty person) shower in the morning and in the evening. Brush your teeth. Don’t forget to floss and scrape your tongue. Use moisturizing cream on your face. Guys, pay attention here, it’s ok to use products. Style your hair. Don’t just wakeup and go to work/class with bed hair. That just shows what careless person you are, and careless people are not good at ‘surviving’. Trim your facial hair. Cut your finger and toe nails. Wash your hands often, especially if they tend to sweat a lot. Use cologne/perfume, but only three sprits. One on your neck and one on each of your wrists. Deodorant/Antiperspirant is a MUST! Spray deodorants do not do the justice. Get yourself clear stick one. Wear clean clothes without wrinkles and holes. Stains (any kind), missing buttons, and non-designer holes are big no-no. I will cover more on dressing and grooming in my later posts.
10
SMILE! Don’t just smiles because that’s what you are suppose to do. Smile because it lifts your mood up and makes you look more appealing.
Follow these ten easy steps and you will find yourself being friendlier, funnier and even more social.
So to summarize:
1 Asses your value - What entertainment do you provide? People are bored.
2 Have time to recharge - Spend time alone. Recharge your energy.
3 READ and expand your self - Learn new things to talk about
4 Write down topics you're passionate about - It's easier to DHV when you talk about things you're passionate about
5 Write and write some more. Write down your stories - Prepare your "speech". Writing helps verbalization.
6 Talk to yourself. Out loud. - By having conversation with yourself, your stimulate your 'social brain' and your speaking abilities.
7 Excercise your vocal cords - Best singers do it. Why don't you?
8 Breate with your stomach - Healthy breathing helps focusing process. More oxygen in your blood better blood flow to your brain.
9 Be Clean - ..Duh!
10 Smile! - Smile to put yourself in a good mood.
And there are about dozen more things you can do, but this should get you started. Even though most sound like common sense, we, often, don't pay a lot of attention to basic and simple things.
Enjoy,
Truly yours,
TrueStory
- 
Few Simple Things You Can Do To Help Your Social Life 
- 
Dress well, smell good, smile, and the rest is easy!
Linear Mode
