Anyone have some tips of creating Comfort? - The Attraction Forums

White_Juan · #1 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 08:32 AM

Besides telling her secrets about yourself, not being needy, being unpredictable, not trying to be in control of her and telling her life stories about yourself... maybe how one day you almost got ran over or whatever.

I found that talking about doing adventurous things together is good.
Like telling her, "yeah we are going to go camping sometime or river rafting" or "you know what would be awesome? If me and you go out sometime on a warm night and just lay down and watch the stars till we fall asleep". And than actually doing it.

Infact, is it ok to talk about romantic ideas like that in comfort?
If so, post them up.

Lets get some ideas for creating comfort rollling around

-thanks

Swifty · #2 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 03:00 PM

There is HEAPS of things you can do in comfort... BUt realise that you also need trust... I'll list a few things you can do that will help create comfort and trust - in no particular order

- Anything that creates time distortions - Bounce her around. This is a weird comfort tip, because you're not really doing anything conversationally. You're just bouncing her around a lot. So example - You go to dinner, then you want ice cream. So you take her on a bus trip to a gorgeous ice cream parlor. You get ice cream. Then you go back on the bus to where you we're originally. Then you go to a bar. Then you bounce her back to your place. You just bounced her around several times. This creates a time distortion. It cuts down the amount of time you need to baby sit her by making it seem you have spent more time with her. It creates conspiracy also which is good for comfort.

- Conspiracy in its self creates comfort like i just said. So role play alot. Develop private jokes etc etc.

- Vulnerability stories. This just fills in the time and keeps that attraction pumped, whilst at the same time, shows her that you are comfortable enough with her to show her your true nature. Comfort breads comfort

- Telling her secrets is a trust building thing. You need trust before she sleeps with you. Its a good idea - but dont do it too much. If you haven't built enough attraction before you do some trust building routines or what not, it will be detrimental to your sarge.

- Rapport building for comfort and deep and wide rapport building for trust.

- Grounding routine - do yours and then get her to do hers.

- Being unreactive and positively adding value. Make moves on her... Then if she rejects you, be unaffected... back off for a little while, then go for it again. This helps to build trust. I am not going to go into why exactly - it would be too long a post

- Kino, kino, kino - If you do not build comfort with touch, you are not going to get very far. So kino her and escalate. BUt make sure that she remains comfortable while you do it. If she pulls away or gets tense at all, back off, then in a little while go for it again. This is an extension of the point above.

---> I'll explain it why for you k. She realises that if you two are out on a date, or still talking to each other after a while, and you are touching her leg, or tickling her, or hugging her, that you are interested in her sexually. She wants to know, mostly subconsciously, that you will not hurt her. In other words, she wants to know that if she says stop, you will. So when she is getting uncomfortable... Imagine this for a second. You're a girl, and you are getting uncomfortable with a guy touching your hand, and he continues to hold it or touch it, whilst you are getting more and more uncomfortable. The more he holds your hand, the more you begin to realise one thing. What happens if you are back at his place and he wants to fuck you in the bum? And you get uncomfortable with that idea... WOuld you be scared? Pretty much. So when you kino escalate and she gets uncomfortable and you back off, what you are basically subcommunicating to her, is that you are trust worthy. When she realises "if i say stop, or get uncomfortable, this guy is going to back off" you can pretty much do anything. So she knows, that you wont do anything to her sexually that she isnt comfortable with.

So kino escalate and if she is uncomfortable, back off for a little while, then go for it again. Make your moves and if she says "stop" back off, wait a while, then go for it again.

Lastly, realise that every girl is different. Some girls need more comfort and trust than others. The seven hour comfort rule is absolute bogus... Its a guideline not a rule. K its not complete bogus. Its an average. Just make sure she is comfortable and trusting in the idea of you two having sex and you're through to seduction.

Mooks · #3 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 04:53 PM

Just a quick small one, and it was mildly damage control (not make or break damage, just negative feelings needing reframing).

I went camping with some friends and my girl over the weekend and on the last night I got drunk and instead of "coming to bed" with my girl I stayed up and shot the shit with my best friend... I could tell she was upset, and it could have been either because i got wasted, because I didn't come to bed right away or because I squashed an idea to get a hotel for the night up the road... but in any event,

it was the next day and i was on top of her on my bed and I was kissing her from ear to ear, lightly brushing my lips over hers while telling her, "We need to go away sometime soon, and I don't care where it is, but it's going to be just you, and me.... all.... over... you... " followed by a deep passionate kiss. I'm fairly certain it worked, but unfortunately not enough to keep her there for a quickie before she drove home to tend to some craziness that happened with her family while we were gone, *damn, oh well* but she did go out of her way to comment on how good I smelled and how yummy I am. I'll take that as a pretty good indication "I dun gud, heeyuck"

mindquicken · #4 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 05:19 PM

excellent post Swifty, you are too swift.

White_Juan · #5 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 06:27 PM

Swifty, you made a excellent post. Lets keep this stuff going tho. People, throw in some ideas.
I do not want to hear, "take her somewhere expensive for her BDay"

Lets hear some more creative ideas on creating comfort.
Or maybe obstacles that we may expirence in comfort. Like for instance, Last Minute Resistance.

You try to unkook her pants, she says no. You back off immediatley like Swifty said. Than you make a C&F remark to her, "oh.... I know why... you dont have want to.... its ok.... I understand *sad/disappointed face*... your underwear has a hole (or stain) from all the farting you do and your too embarassed to let me see them"

Mooks · #6 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 07:22 PM

Do a search for Kokology books. They're basically cold read, "deeper meanings behind their choices" excercises.

They're fun, and if you do them right, they will be amazed at how "in tune" you are with them.

The cube is a long one.

There's one called Deep into the Mountains.

Hell, Strawberry fields is one, but that's not so much comfort as it is seduction. Perhaps used in conjuction with the other ones.

White_Juan · #7 (**permalink**) 05-21-2008, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mooks

Do a search for Kokology books. They're basically cold read, "deeper meanings behind their choices" excercises.

They're fun, and if you do them right, they will be amazed at how "in tune" you are with them.

The cube is a long one.

There's one called Deep into the Mountains.

Hell, Strawberry fields is one, but that's not so much comfort as it is seduction. Perhaps used in conjuction with the other ones.

What the hell? LOL. Ok. I was hoping for some natural stuff to do but I guess that can work for some people