Q and A on Wings and Cutting old Friends

[Braddock]

I hope someone finds this useful. Here are a couple of questions I received and here are my answers.




Question 1: "I'm in a sticky situation. I am a 21 year old who goes to a small college in Baltimore that is crawling with hippies and weirdos. No one over 21 is interested in going out to the bars. I do well when I hit the bar with a wing, but I'm apprehensive about going out alone. I tried finding wings on the forums and they are scarce too. What should I do? "

Question 2: "Do you think I should cut out my old friends and get new ones?"



First off, lolololol "hippies and weirdo's." That literally made me laugh. I hate hippies! Especially hippy girls. It's really not a political thing, it's just that they always stink and never seem to be hot.

I know exactly what you're going through. It was extremely hard for me to find friends who were down with this when I first started. My closest friends are kinda naturals and I didn't even want to tell them I was reading this sort of stuff. They would never have understood. I also suggest you don't tell those in your closest circle unless you know you can trust them. Every time you go out they will be like, "Let's see it man. I thought you read that shit. I thought you said it worked? Why do you ask them those fucked up questions about your friends ex girlfriend? That's stupid."

Fuck all that! Just mysteriously become a fucking pimp and when they ask how you do it, just say, "I don't know man, girls just like me I guess. Just be yourself." lololol

The truth is, there is no quick fix to your wing problem. However, until you do find a decent wing realize that going out alone isn't as bad you think it is. If anyone asks where your friends are just say, "They're here somewhere." They usually don't even ask.

Keep this in mind too. I think the best wings are not the guys with great game. As a matter of fact, they will accidentally fuck you more than a normal dude. The best wings for me is a decent looking guy who won't say anything to fuck it up, but he won't say anything to get the girls that interested in him either. My favorite wing goes out with me all the time and I get laid every night and he almost never does. But, he never fucks it up for me either. He doesn't approach really, but if I bring girls to him he will talk to them and not freak them out or bore them. He never fucks up my game most importantly. A new guy trying to learn all this shit is often the worst wing, because they are trying to run game at the same time you are and it just comes across really weird. (not because his game is bad or good, just because you have 2 guys excited about gaming and both guys bring it in every set. 2 guys gaming hard across each other never really works out.)

What I do is go out with my wing or a group of cool guys and I merely use them as a home base between sets. Somewhere for me to go when I'm not in set. I don't count on them for shit as far as pickup. They are fucking horrible! lol But they give me social proof and I actually like the guys so even if I'm not running game I'm genuinely having fun. (Having people you can genuinely have fun with is ten times more powerful for your game than having a guy who is willing to go open sets.)

I guess the biggest point I'm trying to make here is that the whole "wing" thing is not that big of a deal like everyone says it is. The only good thing about having a wing is if he is a motivated mother fucker who will hold you accountable and make you go out. A guy who won't let you pussy out and say you are tired or this bar is dead or whatever excuse we often make.

Don't let not having a wing keep you from developing the lifestyle and game you want. I know it sucks, but just keep going out and meeting people. You are likely to meet a wing on accident at the bar. I'd much rather meet a guy who is already going over trying to talk some mother fucker into getting off the couch.


Answer to Question 2: Notice that in answering question one I did not say ditch all your old friends and get new ones who are good at pickup. NOOOOOOO!!!! When guys say that on here I think it creates great confusion. If you have a great set of friends who are supportive, deeply care about you, and who make your quality of life better, than why would you cut them out of your life just because they have no game???????? Thats ridiculous. I think if you will read the posts from instructors or guys with a vast amount of experience, you will read posts on cutting people out of your life who you come to realize are toxic.

This is totally different. Often times you will end up cutting previously close friends out of your life after you have been in the community for a while. THIS IS NOT BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE GAME!!!! This is because as you evolve, create better boundaries in your life, create a better personality, and stop accepting low class behavior from others, your paradigm on life changes drastically. You start to notice friends that treat you poorly. Before you just accepted it and were glad to have friends in your life. A by product of going out so much is that you will meet tons of people. If you sit on your ass all day, or work your ass off all day, but never go out and meet new people, then you have been relegated to whatever social circle life affords you. As you go out more and more and your skill level goes up and up, you will gain skeleton keys that will open up doors socially, guys and girls, that have been locked your whole life. As you meet cooler and cooler people you will outgrow people who remain stagnant in their life and resent you for your new found success. Don't be mad at them and don't assume that you are better than them. You have merely acquired a skill set that helped you grow as a person.

Don't be mad at them if they work hard to pull you back down, the truth is, they just want their friend back. If you change and grow into a better person or a worse person, the relationship you once had changes forever. Some of your old friends will love the new you and would love you no matter what. (keep those guys). Some guys will laugh at you as you grow, say toxic shit that makes you feel insecure, and do everything in their power to keep you just where you were. It makes them feel horribly uncomfortable to see you change for the better. If you do, fires off every insecurity they have been hiding for years. They are not bad people in general, but they have now become bad for you. (limit your time with these guys, when your game grows to that level).

Half of this stuff we learn is to pickup girls and half of this is to help you grow as a person and learn to affect the world, not let the environment effect you. Once you learn that you don't have to take bad behavior from hot girls, you will have an epiphany where you say, "if I don't take that kind of behavior from hot girls, I don't take that behavior from new guys, then why have I been letting this dip shit friend treat me poorly for all these years? Not only does he not bring that much to the table to offer me, he brings even less than that. I don't need the social circle he once was able to dangle over my head. As a matter of fact, this guy has no bargaining chips anymore, yet he is still trying to talk to me like I'm his subordinate who is just glad for the opportunity to be around him. Nope. No more buddy. With my new found skills, you are easily replaced. It's not about loyalty. It's about who I choose to have in my life and how I demand to be treated. I'm not going to try and change you. I'm not going to "demand" to be treated any certain way verbally. I will just not allow you my company if you bring toxic shit into my life. I now have the power to surround myself with like minded positive people who are more than happy to have relationships with me where it is win win. As your skill grows, you will laugh at bad behavior from men and women. It won't sting as much as it once did. You will live in more of an abundance frame and realize that you are no longer the old guy who would just be friends with anyone.

GET OVER THE SOCIETAL PRESSURE: Social norms will fuck with your head. "I know he treats me like shit, but he's my friend." or "I know he's rude to me sometimes, but that's just the way he is. I'm a loyal guy and I'm not going to just stop being his friend, movies and TV tell me that being a loyal guy at all cost is admirable."

FUCK THAT!!!!!!! You know what is admirable? Being able to walk away from win/lose situations. I'm not saying walk in saying, "what's in this for me?" But I am saying, walk in with the idea that you are going to offer value and respect and that is the minimum you expect back. Anything less than that and your not interested. If you met a new guy today and he immediately talked to you like shit and made you feel insecure about something you were trying, would you allow him that real estate in your life and head???? I FUCKING HOPE NOT!!!!!!!! Then why would you allow an old "friend" that same kindness? The logic is flawed in movies and society. I'm not saying be a shitty friend who walks away after any disagreement. I'm not saying being traditionally loyal is bad. I pride myself on being loyal.

However, staying in a lose/win situation when you know you are on the losing end is ignorant, cowardly, and the complete opposite of loyal. There is no consalation prize for being loyal to someone who treats you like shit. All that is really happening is you are retarding your potential and growth with every second you spend in their presence. Be true and loyal to yourself before try to be true and loyal to another.

Hope this helps!

Your fearless leader,

Braddock