The Zero to Hero in 0.2 days myth

[Sy]

So how can a new member of this community shake of this idea?
Look at your life, what have you done that was difficult and took time to learn? How did you achieve it? By getting stuck in and trying to do something, or by complaining?
When I first met an excellent wing, pied_piper I remember him coming to me with approach anxiety and looking, what I must say was quite scared. I winged him into a couple of sets and physically moved him into kino. I wish I could do this for everyone out there, because sometimes we all need that nudge over the line. piper is now a kino master/ninja!
What can a person reading this post do? Here are some things that worked for me.
- Get friends (game aware or not), to pick a sets that you HAVE to approach. With somebody stood behind you saying "GO ON!" You are much more likley to go into set
- Join a lair full of guys you can learn from. Joining CarpePM was one of the best decisions I ever made, and more recently meeting people like Fad3r and hopefully others in the not too distant future have helped and will continue to help me.
- Promise yourself you are going to approach. By the time you actually get in set and run an opener, you can reward yourself. You have done the hardest thing you will ever have to do in the game. The rest is much easier than this.
- Visualise the cool guy you are and will become in set. Imagine what it would look like to see you being really cool in set and everyone loving it. That is the reality very shortly. Get used to it, and work towards making it inevitible.
- Break through the shyness barrier. I have met many guys who are quiet and cannot be heard. Yet many of them have learned to project and use kino and do all the things we can do to get and keep a girls attention. Shout loudly to songs, bring out your loud side. It's there LET IT SHOW. Please don't hide it, you will be REWARDED for showing your social side. Thats why they call it society
- Dare to fail. ONLY THOSE WHO DARE TO DREAM will ever achieve them. You have to fail before you can succeed. Get used to it, get comfortable with it then GET OVER IT. I've seen harlequin blown out of a set (yes it actually happened, he's mortal!!) I've been blown out of countless sets, everyone who improves HAS BLOWN A SET.
This is your new mindset, digest it, read it five more times. Read it every morning, and at night before bed. Stick it to your head. You WILL succeed, but it WILL TAKE TIME!
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Why I think this myth exists...
I have a lot of friends who are not in the community but have come across Styles book and I have noticed a pattern. Everyone wants results today, without going into the field and putting the hard work in. I think as anyone can vouch it is hard work, and hard work alone that has gotten us to where we are as APUAs.
That got me thinking, why is this? The answer I kept coming back to was Low Self Esteem. Not only will low self esteem prevent someone from sarging, it causes people to lie to themselves and pretend they don't need to improve. I know a couple of guys who are with girls they are far from 100% happy with, yet they stick with them? They become validated by something they don't want and throw away their dominant frame. Its SAD TO SEE! It makes me want to shake them like a polaroid picture.
Good luck guys.

[drsafety]

Great post Syren. Reminds me of a Mystery quote:
"The field does not lie." -if you have questions, go out into the field and practice... you will find the answers you seek.
Nothing is acheived without consistent practice.

[Stallion]

Hey Syren, awesome post man.
This could be a really big help to a lot of newbe's just joining the forum and community.
I've seen pied_piper do his thing myself when I was in Leeds and I winged with him in a few sets and he lives up to his name as being the Kino Whore and for someone to make that kind of change deserves mad respect and the best thing about it is that everyone can learn it for themselves.
I also vote best of.

[SeksiWill]

One of the things that have stuck with me the most that each approach is a success no matter the outcome. Your building confidence with each approach and even though you could be blown out you can learn from each one and only improve. Great post Syren.

[SlowJam]

funny .....a book called " the art of mingling" talked about a strategy called ' buddy system'. it says that, if you feel uncomfortable to approach a group , just imagine that you're with someone( imaginary friend) who's looking out over your shoulder telling you that everything is going to be ok. the affect of having a wingman when opening a set is very significant, it gives newbies sense of comfort and a bit of confidence, even this book tells about being a schitzoprenic if you want to go and open up a set.

[Maverick]

Very good post. I'd like to add to it if I may, Sy.
Alot of people are looking for a quick fix. There is no quick fix to getting good at this game, just like there's no quick fix learning how to ride a bike or play the guitar. It takes time, practice and dedication. It's easy to learn a few openers, lines and negs but learning a whole mentality and re-wiring your brain takes YEARS. Sy has been in the game a LONG time. He's naturally charismatic. He uses that to his advantage. But that is a belief that he adoped before he became the master PUA that he is today. He started working out, and because of that, feels better about himself. Instead of starting from the outside and working in, try working on the inside and moving out.
Change your belief system. Belive you are worthy of any girl. Belive that you have more to offer her than she has to offer you. Become a better person and improve yourself as a whole. Be genuinely proud of yourself and it will shine through and make applying those lines and techniques 10x easier. It's more work and requires alot more dedication but it's the difference between sinking and floating.
-Maverick

[aLmAnZo]

I'm a newbie, but after discovering the methods about sarging, I've become a better person over night.
It's really about how open you are as a person. Every human has kind of a cd running repeat in their head. The inner conversation. If your open enough, you can eject this cd and totaly rip it apart over one day. The problem is building a new one, because people around you expect you to behave accordingly to the old pattern.
Your constanly reminded of the old, destructive mindpattern. But as long as you feel improvement, you will feel your becoming closer to your goal. You can have tremendous effect in one day. As any other thing your trying to master, you'll get beyond milestones. In the beginning, these will appear more ocationally in the beggining. I've experienced it over and over again, as for sarging, it has been a lot of milestones already. I can actually go over to girls to talk to them in clubs now. Uncaring of rejection, just 3 months ago I would have turned to ice trying to do sutch a thing.
Learning something doesn't take mutch time, mastering it, takes a lifetime.

[Renegade]

Great post, fully deserves to be in the best-of.
I think what a lot of aspiring PUAs suffer from (me included) is the initial anxiety of seeing a set which is worth approaching. You can over think approaching a set - worrying what angle to approach, the appropriate opener to use and any routines to follow up with to DHV. Before you know it you have well and truly blown the 3 second rule and the dynamics of the bar/club/wherever can change and the set leaves before you act. Major let down.
This is one of the benefits of having a wing, as they act like a coach to help you get into a set before anxiety gets the better of you. They can boost your confidence and give you the stimulus to act.
Syren this thread sounds like it came from the soul. Hats off my man.
Renegade