A3 realization

[Psych_]

I have been working on my A3 game for a while because it seems to be my main sticking point. Every now and then I do it right but the majority of all my pick up gets messed up once I go into A3. (It's gotten to a point where I'll sometimes just hammer in A2 stuff to make up for a lack of A3 game). I couldn't figure out where I was going wrong but after a really off night of sarging and reading some material to go over where I went wrong I had an epiphane. Here's what I've come to discover and I'm interested in what you all think about it.
Many of us believe (as well as myself until now) that to make a woman ATTRACTED to you, you needed to DHV yourself, do Cocky Funny, False Disqualification, Negs and all the other countless A2 material. Basically we were under the mindset that attraction was done once A2 was done. A2 game is NOT when attraction is created between the girl to you. It's where INTEREST is created and there is a major difference. A woman might be interested in you and find you fascinating and even work to get you to like her just with A2 game. But she is working to create a real and meaningful attraction. Many times guys will hammer in A2 and become that performer type of guy or the dancing monkey. He might be the most interesting guy in the world with great stories and always out of her reach. She'll be into this guy cause he has high value but as soon as he starts showing sexual interest in her most times the girl will halt his advances. Most PUAs still believe though that by hammering in the A2 material they will make this attraction...or that they just didn't do it enough or the right way and when they don't do A3 correctly and get blown out they are left confused because they believed the girl was attracted to them. That's how I felt at the very least.
However if that was true WHY would we need that third step of attraction? At first glance and even many more it would seem A3 material is more of comfort building because we already have the girl attracted to us. This was my belief until I realized the main thing that creates attraction and something both of my pivots whole heartedly agree on and were hard pressed to admit. They were actually scared because they realized I truly found what would make them attracted to someone!
Attraction is created once a girl opens herself up to you and expresses unique qualities about herself and then you show GENUINE interest. When she truly realizes that you are interested in her for something no other girl has it shows in her mind that it's not just her looks that won you over. A really hot girl is always used to guys being interested in them but they do nothing for it...they get desperate interest because of their looks. How many times have you asked girls a question only to prolong the conversation or just out of meek curiosity? This is desperate interest and can also be seen when you compliment or give IOI's to a girl for a generic comment.
I used to believe that just by making a girl qualify herself she would realize she's working for me and enhance the attraction. This is only part true. Many times a girl will qualify but it's very generic and things most girls would say anyways. You MUST make them qualify in a way where you get unique info from them and then show genuine interest in it. Obviously some of this genuine interest you show will be fake IOIs but the one's you dont fake and really can be interested in will show through your subcommunications and create a deeper level of attraction. However give false IOIs when she is unique too better then not. The only trap is if you just are interested in EVERYTHING then she will feel you are fake and catch it. If you disagree on something (say music) let it be known and keep a playful air about it. This only makes the things you do show genuine interest in that much stronger because it's not as common, like showing genuine interest for everything she does.
Here's an actual scenario that happened to me that might demonstrate my point. In A3 most of us are familiar with bait-hook-reel-release. I went into A3 material with my target after getting many IOI's and begain the bait technique. I asked her if she could be anything in the world what would she be and told her not to say princess. With that bait she then hooked and said she wants to be a vet. I reeled her in with IOI's then released her saying to bad she's still a dork. This looks like the bait technique done right however it's really not. The problem came from her end what I thought was a qualification and a hook (her telling me she wants to be a vet) was just a generic answer and maybe even a shit test. I expressed interest in her job choice when there any many vets out there and while it does show SOME uniquness to her it's still not enough. I got a mild reaction from her after I did this because it did still show some unique side of her however it could have gone MUCH better if I just realized what I thought was the hook wasn't the real hook I wanted.
Here's what should have happened. When she gave the hook and said she wants to be a vet I should have baited again. I could have asked her if she ever saved a dying puppy. Then she would truly hook and reveal something unique about herself which I could then show genuine interest in and reel her in. This would create a much more powerful form of attraction with her. The more unique of an answer you can get the more powerful your genuine interest will seem and in response you will get a more direct and powerful attraction.
A2 creates the interest for the target to ALLOW herself to be unique with you. It takes away her social programming and canned responses so that REAL attraction can take place. However this doesn't mean that showing genuine interest alone will create attraction and that should be all you do. It still should work both ways and giving her things to be genuinly interested about (such as your DHVs) will also keep up the attraction. Just because you begin A3 doesn't mean you should stop with the A2 stuff just as when you begin comfort you should forget about keeping attraction.
The main realization to me came when I realized that it wasn't just enough to make a girl qualify in A3, you needed to make her qualify in a way that shows she's unique and different from all other girls and then let her know you realize that. Don't settle for those generic or canned responses. I think for people struggling with A3 this might really improve your game and I hope what I wrote helps.

[drjekyll]

This is a fucking exceptional analysis of what I believe to be the keystone of the entire M3 model. A3 was always the trickiest one for me, and you've got a great deal of very interesting insights into the process here.
I would have found this incredibly useful as a newb to really get my head around what's going on.
I would actually probably even go as far as to throw in a 5 star rating and a best of vote, simply because I think that a lot of guys, like myself, found that this phase is the most difficult and weird one to get your head around.
Superb analysis. Best of.

[sting]

Psych,
i'm going along with the crowd here and stressing the importance of A3 - and just about every idea in your post.
i think the more experienced you get in PU, the more you look at it as "normal stuff" as opposed to a fancy bunch of tricks to get girls.
take the Dale Carnegie's book on making friends and influencing people. i read this before finding the community - and most of the advice in it, in the seduction community context - seems soft to me.
looking through it now - it all seems like the same thing, and thats soemthing good. appreciating someone is just plain common social sense.
the funny thing about "qualifying" is when we hear girls say things like "i just want a guy who likes me for me... etc." we tended to think this was typical chick-logic/crap (i wonder if they know they're lying or whether they actually believe their own lies?)
and here we are, full circle, finally GETTING IT.
thanks for that, bro,
Sting

[Psych_]

Wow I'm really touched by all these replies and I'm so happy that you all felt that this post helped. I haven't really been active with posts and everything, I'm usually doing more field work on my own then actually getting involved with the online stuff. Since I got such great replies though I'll start writing up some more posts on things I figure out and my previous sticking points. (Right now biggest sticking point is venue changing, also battling the LMR queen but she is DEFINETLY not the norm.) As for voting for me I didn't really expect this to go to the "best of" section but I'll be greatly honored if it does, have no idea how that works though. Thanks again everyone and I'm glad I could help.

[bhzmafia]

After getting some hardcore LMR with a girl (first time LMR has ever been an issue, since Ive never gotten that far - so Im happy anyway) I decided I fucked up somewhere...

After reading up, I realised it was in A3, and this post gave me a fucking epiphany, just like it did everyone else...

For those who need some A3 questions to get going, here are the ones I have found in the last 30min or so:

Small Hoops
- Can you cook?
- Do you like animals? [must make their answer unique]
- Do you give good backrubs?
- Are you a friendly person?
- Are you adventurous?

Medium Hoops
- If you were locked in a room, and your phone only had enough battery for one call, who would your first choice be?
- What are 3 things you would cook for our friends if they came over for dinner?
- What do you want to be when you grow up?

Large Hoops
- What do you have going for you aside from your looks?


To make up your own questions, follow sting's advice:

Originally Posted by sting

you can even write out a list of 5 qualities that you want to qualify girls on

Find out what YOU want in a girl, and from there it will be a lot easier to internalise questions to ask them, especially without feeling weird about doing so.

[sdsideways1]

I read a post by a member, psych, who said "Qualify with unique info"

That might be one the best pieces of info I have pulled in a while. I was always qualifying for mundane things. But they were things that were still unique about her, like where she works,her school, ethic background, but they were not truley unique things, like she tutors her brother who has a learning disability. There is a huge difference and that distinction is important and can end a set in hearbeat if you don't understand the difference.