Negs - Help for beginners and those with Sticking points

[GameBoy]

I blogged this out in my journal a few minutes ago and realized that this would really be a good thread for Main.
While the entire scope and reach of Negs has been addressed many times (and very well in VC's Negs thread - found in the BO) I keep seeing a flurry of 'My great Neg!' threads on the forum that only garner the reply '... that's not a Neg dude.'
How can so many people be so misguided? i asked myself.
And I think I have the answer.
For those of you who 'get' negs, I'm sure you'll see the short-commings of this article. Know that these oversights and omissions are intentional. This is meant to help guys who are not at a place where they are ready for that level of detail - and this will be expanded upon later.
For those of you who are still struggling with this concept: I hope this helps.
Enjoy
-GB
The key to Negs is to balance your statements and subcommunication to create a neutral energy about the interaction. This is not typical human behavior, and women are programmed by their genes to develop a knack for categorizing social behaviors. So what does this mean? It makes you more interesting on a sub-consious level. You're an anomaly, and if she can understand you she'll genetically wire herself better for survival.
Translation - By being wierd (in a non-threatening way) you are prompting her to pay more attention to you and study your behavior.
Now that you have her on the hook, you can count that your material will stick better.
So lets look at Neg calibration.
For starters, 'Wow that bag sucks' is not a Neg.
(*Note, there are exceptions to this, like there are with all Negs, but it would dependant upon the context and delivery of the situation)
Look at Mysterys: Wow, you are such a little shit! (Said while smiling)
The words do not match the subcommunication. Smiling is a friendly banterful form. It symbolizes that you're happy, that you're care-free and that you're having a good time.
The Words say that you're angry with her or that she's gettng under your skin.
This random break from the norm can easily instigate laughter and playfulness.
For example, have you ever watched George Carlin perform his standup?
One of the keys of comedy is to hit the audience/target with an undexpected twist or turn to the story. You lead them down a path and set them up perfectly, and right when they expect A to happen, you hit them with B.
In most people, this kind of obsurdity or random break from the norm will instil laughter. I know it does for me.
Negs work in a very similar way.
Now I'm going to say something controversial because it was not explaind well in early Neg articles:
You don't want to be 'tearing her down'.
This was not communicated well at all. The entire discussion on altering her reletive social value is accurate, but false at the same time.
Mystery communicated a very complicated social pattern in a way that made sense to him - a man with years of social intense social training under his belt, an abundance of confidence, the know-how to calibrate to his traget and an entire host of internalized information.
I have a friend who talks about a cooking class he once took, and this is a perfect example. His teacher - a renowned pastry chef in San Francisco - was instructing his class to make one of his most famous deserts. When my friends recipe did not yeild the right results in the end, he asked the chef why. 'Why didn't it turn out correctly? I followed your directions to a "T"."
The chef replied "Well, you didn't add rosemarry."
Wing: "The recpie didn't call for resemarry!"
Chef: "Oh, any self-respecting chef knows that this recipe requires it"
Mystery tought Negs in the same manner. Anyone who knows that this interaction requires roesmarry ( ie. The missing ingredient) was able to impliment them, but anyone without that knowledge was left like my friend: All he knew is that things didn't taste quite right. He wasn't getting the desired result and he couldn't figure it out because he followed the instructions as they were given.
So where does this leave us, and what is that Missing ingredient?
Well, I've touched upon it, but I need to give you some more information before I go any further with this concept.
Going further:
Understand that Women have a better social inteligence than Men do.
This is a fact.
Women are instinctually programmed to study faces from the time that they are born.
By the age of 3 they have a much larger vocabulary than boys.
When they hit adolsecent, community interaction become the focal point of their entire world.
This is the entire basis for 'girls mature faster than boys'.
What this phrase means is that a womans' social skills evolve at an accelerated rate.
Lets also accepts one other fact:
You probably suck at this.
Put those two together and what do you get?
Your target is probably much better at social interaction than you are.
And, while we're at it, lets build another truth:
Given our last fact (that she's the master out of the pair) you really don't need to know HOW it works, as long as you know how to do it - when it comes to social tools like Negging.
Only thing is, there are two problems with that.
You haven't learned the right way to do it - so now you're really screwed.
You don't know how to neg, and you don't undertand what you're trying to accomplish with it - all you know is that it seems like a good idea and it's workin' really well for other guys...
Going back to my cooking metaphors - that's like trying to dice an onion for your stew while being blindfolded and not knowing what the hell 'dicing' means.
You follow?
Ok. Now that we've started to understand the problem (why so many guys suck at Negs), we're ready to find a solution, and that solution is in learning proper techinque.
When you're lifing weights, you'll grow much faster - and avoid injury - if you use proper techniqe. It just makes sense: learn the right way to do something, practice it and you'll acomplish your goals.
But just like at the gym, i see way too many guys just 'giving it a try' without laying the groundwork.
VC would call them JAWs.
Now, what you've been waiting for:
How to structure a Neg.
As my opener said, this is a balancing act.
You want to throw out a statement that is - for all intents and purposes - Neutral
GB: I like your glasses (positive); my friend Dan has a pair just like them (the twist at the end).
Is not mean. It's not rude. For all intensive purposes - she can't get mad. And, if she does - I'd bust her on it.
That is not a mean thing to say. In fact, it's a compliment.
... but a backhanded one.
Mystery calibrates 'You are such a little SHIT!' with a smile and bodylanguage that comes across as amused and playful. The language is harsh, the body is happy - the feeling is neutral. The result is positive.
Yes, these negs do lower Reletive Social Value and you are establishing dominance for having the balls the say something this uncommon, but you're not being insulting in any way - and that's where the finesse comes in.
This entire power strugle - more-of a dance really - should come off smoothly and with as little friction as possible. It should be such an obvious display as to appear effortless and unspoken. It should just 'be'.
And really, the entire dance should be effortless. (Not just appearing to be) But of course, lets not kid ourselves. This is what Mystery mean when he says 'fake it till you make it'. There are times when you have to trust that something is going to work in order to make it work.
For instance - when I was learning to do chip-tricks at the poker-tabel; shuffling was hard. I started light and worked up (and I am now the world-champ at this little trick.). But, the funny thing was, I noticed better results when i just 'went for it'. When I just said 'fuck it! I'm failing anyway, what can it hurt to go faster?' and I'll be God-damned it worked.
Getting the confidence to perform the general technique took an understanding in my lack of confience. I had to accept that I sucked at it and trust that I'm not gettin' any worse: why not give it a go full-blast and see how that works.
And, while it may not be a cooking metaphor, I think you catch my drift.
-GB

[Hysteria]

Not to steal any thunder away from GameBoy's excellent breakdown, but if any of you guys don't understand the "positive/twist" calibration of negs (I wouldn't have when I first started learning), check out my reply in the following topic:
A Neg i heard on TV
You can leave the positive "up" portion of the neg as-is. This is commonly known as a compliment and you can use it as an intermittent IOI to reward a girl. You can simultaneously use this sort of compliment to test the waters (thus making it a sort of compliance test) and see if a girl is going to be receptive towards it (in which case, it is a sincere compliment and she will appreciate it) or if she is going to roll her eyes at yet another lame guy praising her (in which case, you need to calibrate it by adding the "backhanded" portion and thus completing the structure of the two-part neg and making it an IOD).
Example 1:
PUA: Hey, those are really nice nails! (Sincere compliment)
Target: Wow, thank you so much!
PUA: Are they real? (Backhand)
The backhand portion is unnecessary here because the girl was open to the compliment. You may even create negative compliance momentum with this faulty calibration. You should NOT turn the compliment into a neg in this scenario.
Example 2:
PUA: Hey, those are really nice nails! (Sincere compliment)
Target: (thinking to herself and rolling her eyes) Oh jeez, another one of THESE guys. (aloud) Thanks.
PUA: Are they real? (Backhand)
Calibration for the win here.
Read Sinn's excellent topic on microcalibration for more information:
http://www.theattractionforums.com/f...splay.php?f=97

[GameBoy]

Now you're gettin' a little more advanced that I had intended Hysteria - but that's not a bad thing.
Lets build.
What you've listed is the definition of a 'calibrator' as Mystery would call it, and Microcalibration as Sinn and LD like to say.
Style preeches that this is not true calibration (and I happen to agree) because it's 'on the fly' True calibration does not rely upon tweaks and edits - but this is purely semantics based around the name 'calibrator'.
Call it calibration - call it Social refinement - whatever you call it: It's a valuable tool to have in your bag of tricks.
Going back to an earlier point; all interactins have an eb and flow about them. This energy can be altered, directed and guided - as long as you know how. It is this energy that we aim to controll and it is this energy that we are manipulating with these techniques.
You can look at microcalibration in a number of ways: Saving your ass, recovering from a mistake, honing in on the ideal balance of interaction.
It's all of these things.
How many of you play guitar?
When you're tuning your strings, you wind them up quickly but slow your rate if tension as the string gets closer to the desired pitch. So, lets say that you over-tighten your E string; you'd back off and correct it, right? In fact, this dance - tightenitng and giving slack - will continue until you're perfectly in pitch. That's what we're talking about here.
If you feel you've gone too far - it's OK to back off and reduce the impact of a statement. Or, if you haven't gone far enough, feel free to ramp it up a little.
Once you have the right level of social inteligence, you'll know the 'pitch' (responce) that you desier in your target and you can keep tuning until you find it.