Lifestyle of Seduction

[Eclectic]

Best of I think. Even though I don't agree with all of the points, and the ones I do agree with, I agree with varyingly, I still think that this is a thought provoking piece, which will be beneficial to newer and/or younger members of the forum.
I would disagree with Cedar's motivation for selling his DnD website. It is part of his identity, his authentic self. Should it be the case that he feels it would benefit and fulfil HIM to sell the site, then by all means he should do it. If on the other hand it is to catch and keep a 10, then ulitimately he is making excuses for himself and compromising his own reality, which seems to be the case here. This will only ever lead to problems.
On a personal note, I understand completely the motivations of Cedar on this issue. Having built a positive and fulfilling lifestyle for myself at University and reaped the benefits of it, I see the motivations of this post. Since graduating and moving back to the family home, my current lifestyle is not nearly as beneficial. For me building a lifestyle is my long-term goal. Success with women ( most of whom, I will meet through social circles and friends, as opposed to 'sarges') will be an addition to it, as opposed to the overriding aim.

[Vincent Chase]

Originally Posted by Eclectic

I would disagree with Cedar's motivation for selling his DnD website. It is part of his identity, his authentic self.

This isn't aimed at you Eclectic, you just had the most recent quotable.
Some of you are unfamiliar with personal evolution. People change.
Are you not aware that we grow up, our tastes develop, we adapt and we are influenced?
I used to play Dungeons and Dragons. Hell I just played a dozen or so games of Magic: The Gathering. I read comic books. I'm a music NERD. I just built my second computer, it's a fuckin' beast. But I've stopped playing DnD. If I had a DnD website I would disown it. Why? Because i'm done. I'm finished with the game. I didn't drop it for women, I dropped it because it's not me anymore. I can always hear about DnD and have a snapshot of my life, one chapter of me.
I used to play drums, not anymore. I used to be in musical theatre, not anymore. I used to play video games online all the time, but not anymore.
As a person I have become someone entirely different through natural personal evolution. When you read good fiction, some of the best bits are the characters evolution.
People change and now you're reprimanding Cedar for not owning a DnD website? That's like making fun of a 30 year old guy for not watching Tom and Jerry anymore. That's like teasing a guy for quitting basketball. That's like harassing your mom for not picking up your shit anymore. There's a certain point where people say they're done. Your mom wants you to learn responsibility. That guy quit basketball because his love of the game has died. That guy stopped watching Tom and Jerry because he realized he was trapped in an infantile state, he was limiting himself and wanted to move on. Cedar separated from his website because he did, his reasons are his but accept that he's done it.
Has he said that he didn't enjoy the years he had? Has he said he doesn't play from time to time? Has he said that he has erased it from his life? No. Has he? Only he knows, only you can speculate.
It may have been a part of Cedars "identity, his authentic self" and it still is, there is no one who can erase the past, not even Cedar. Whether he likes it or not it has become and always will be a part of his authentic self, but now he is more than just DnD, he doesn't want to be running the site because he has other things going for him now, he enjoys a multitude of cultures, activities and so forth. His passion is so intense that he is willing to expand. THAT IS attractive.
He is STILL and ALWAYS WILL BE his authentic self, but DnD no longer holds the prominence it once did, and let me tell you; the guy has a fulfilling life I wouldn't mind having 20 or so years down the line.
So let me congratulate Cedar and everyone else willing to embrace personal growth, willing to accept social broadening and willing to change FOR THEMSELVES and to become who they truly WANT to be, while realizing all they ever truly wanted was to be the best self they could.
Bravo Cedar, Bravo the rest of you, Bravo love, life, seduction, expansion.
You still owe me a drink Cedar.

[Headrush]

I agree. An activity becomes boring when you loose your passion for it. Someday
many of us will leave the game or become instructors to future gamers but youre
right, only you know when the time comes to leave and expand. Right now Im
getting more and more immersed into the the game so the thought of leaving isnt even a part of my conciousness though. This art is so hard to master.

[korrupt]

I just want to say that this is one of the best threads I've ever read on any of the currently active forums.
All of the posts have been genuine; and a real look into what many of us want to achieve as men. And that is to change and be the men we know we should be. It's awesome to see people that are really making a difference to better their lives and create the lifestyle they want to lead.
Thanks to Cedar and everyone else, this really touches close to home and the decision that I've made in my mind to pursue my dreams or die trying. But most importantly, changing to make my life what I think it should be.
-korrupt

[Vapor]

Originally Posted by Vincent Chase

Has he said that he didn't enjoy the years he had? Has he said he doesn't play from time to time? Has he said that he has erased it from his life? No. Has he? Only he knows, only you can speculate.

No speculation necessary, he said why he dumped the site. It got in the way of a bigger priority. Part of growing up is deciding what your biggest priorities are, and letting things go that get in the way of them. It's not sad, as some have suggested; it's critical to acheivement, particularly once you have so many things (career, family) competing for your time.
Speaking to no one here in particular, do not be fooled. There are very few people, in the community or out, who are pulling the highest quality women and keeping them. Those that do have a lifestyle very congruent with exactly that. They aren't framing their various geek hobbies as a positive; they simply don't have them.

[Eclectic]

It was Cedar's motivation which I was not sure about. If as you say VC, its simply a case of him growing away from the DnD website then cool. However, if it is to keep the 10's in his life, then it is something I disagree with doing, but as you say only he knows and we can only speculate.
I liked this though

Originally Posted by Vincent Chase

So let me congratulate Cedar and everyone else willing to embrace personal growth, willing to accept social broadening and willing to change FOR THEMSELVES and to become who they truly WANT to be, while realizing all they ever truly wanted was to be the best self they could.
Bravo Cedar, Bravo the rest of you, Bravo love, life, seduction, expansion.

If you do get VC a drink Cedar be careful, he is still underage

[Sovereign]

Originally Posted by Vapor

I'm actually very surprised you disagree with him, given your style. I also don't mean this in a negative way, but what are you basing your conclusions on? You aren't closing women (admirable, IMO), so it would strike me as difficult to gain the experience of how to keep the relationship going after week 4-6 if you are changing yourself after joining the community. I ask out of curiosity, since I thought Cedar's post was 100% on, represented a sticking point for me, and adjustments I've since made since then seem to be paying dividends. Just trying to figure out how you are coming to the opposite conclusion.

Vapor,
We all make choices in life, some of which are congruent with who we are and others are divergent. The point I am trying to make is that, if for example you build a strong relationship with woman (HB10 or whatever) there is no reason you should give up something you are passionate about. If you are giving up something in your life than it should be because it is not making you happy or preventing you from happiness. But to give up something that you find joy in, because you mistakenly feel it isn't part of the reality you want to belong is a terrible mindset to keep. This isn't like giving up a vice to lead a healthier life, this is giving up a passion because you think it will turn away a hot woman. Does that really make sense?

[GameBoy]

In Draw poker - you never break a straight to go for a flush.
Some times, you should hold pat.

[sethtrump]

Originally Posted by Vapor

Soverign, he is specifically talking about keeping these women in his life. The D&D webmaster does not have girlfriends who are 10's. He may be able to fclose her, and he may be able to present himself as something else, but in many ways you are what you do, and she will figure what those things are no matter how you frame them. After a fairly short time, she's going to say goodbye to the dungeon master.
I'm actually very surprised you disagree with him, given your style. I also don't mean this in a negative way, but what are you basing your conclusions on? You aren't closing women (admirable, IMO), so it would strike me as difficult to gain the experience of how to keep the relationship going after week 4-6 if you are changing yourself after joining the community. I ask out of curiosity, since I thought Cedar's post was 100% on, represented a sticking point for me, and adjustments I've since made since then seem to be paying dividends. Just trying to figure out how you are coming to the opposite conclusion.

See but this point is an important one I think and Sovereign was definitely on the right path here: why can't the D&D webmaster get (and keep) the HB10? You act as if playing D&D is something to be ashamed of, like it's some kind of social leprosy that will cause all women to flee the instant they find out. There is a big difference between the overweight nerdy guy who's identity is shrouded with D&D and the socially adept guy with fun hobbies who also plays D&D.
Sov made that point in his reply, but I dont think it was emphasized enough, the point is whether that is your identity or whether it is just a part of who you are.
I've rarely met anyone who didn't have a strange habit or passtime that you would never think they would do. Whether it's the stripper who helps with Habitat for Humanity or that sweet girl from accounting who plays D&D on Mondays
Also, there is one other thing I'm starting to believe: if you are comfortable with it, other people will be comfortable with it.
s.

[Vapor]

Originally Posted by sethtrump

See but this point is an important one I think and Sovereign was definitely on the right path here: why can't the D&D webmaster get (and keep) the HB10?

What difference does it make? It doesn't really matter why he can't, the fact is, he can't. 10's don't have relationships with those men. Please point out exceptions, but I'm going to ask for pics.
BTW, the "why" of it is, because it is a DLV hobby. To get and keep the 10, you have to have your game thoroughly enough together that there is no room to have a lower value hobby occupying a prominent place in your life.

You act as if playing D&D is something to be ashamed of, like it's some kind of social leprosy that will cause all women to flee the instant they find out.

No, that's what you think I'm saying. If you love D&D, comic books, or Star Trek conventions, that is awesome. You can even be vaguely populer. You will also never have the highest quality girlfriends. Sorry.

Sov made that point in his reply, but I dont think it was emphasized enough, the point is whether that is your identity or whether it is just a part of who you are.

Sov is not closing or having relationships with women other than his wife. His opinion is hypothetical, not based on experience. You are what you do, and women will judge you accordingly. Yes, you might be able to fake it for a few weeks, maybe even longer. But sooner or later, she's going to look at your 20-sided dice and her attraction switches are going to turn off.

I've rarely met anyone who didn't have a strange habit or passtime that you would never think they would do. Whether it's the stripper who helps with Habitat for Humanity or that sweet girl from accounting who plays D&D on Mondays

You are looking at normal people. Look at 10's. See who they are dating for more than the briefest period of time. Look at what those guys do. There are no "out of the closet" Trekkies or comic book guys.

Also, there is one other thing I'm starting to believe: if you are comfortable with it, other people will be comfortable with it.

Comfortable, not attracted.
Seriously, start thinking logically about this. The community is filled with a lot of former geeks and AFCs who really want to believe they can pull the SHB's without making serious changes in their lives. They ignore the fact that none of them are actually doing it. That is denial.