New to this world: Need help with a DVH story

[lemonwinhead]

Ok, this is my first one and I know its not as perfect as t could be, so please help me out with it. Here it is:

Me: So do you travel a lot?
Her: Blah Blah
Me: Yea, I just came from down south, in Tennessee, and let tell you, southern hospitality my ass
Her. What happened? (or something to that affect)
Me: So, me and my cousin are in the mall and I'm see a really cool shirt, and yea, it was pretty expensive, but hey, when you see something you like, you o or it, right? So I'm buying the shirt and these two guys say out of nowhere (in a funny, imitation voice), "We ain't seen you around here. Blah Blah Blah and some other shit", but you know, I'm in another state, so i just walk away cause I didn't want to get into anything. Well, me and my cousin are in the food court and we see these two girls, so my cousin looks at them and realizes that he knows them and kind of nods them over to us. We were talkin' and kinda flirtin' (at this point I would look at my target, whom I have been neglecting and neg her: Yeah they were not, don't hate). Then tweedle dee and tweedle dumb, the two guys who were talkin shit when I bought my shirt, came back up and you wont belive it?
Her: What?
Me: The girls that me and my cousin were talking to were going out with these to guys. So, of course, thy get all pissed, then they get in my cousin's face and actually pushes him. With out saying anything, I get up, push they guy who pushed my cousin and get in his face. They were so lucky that the two girls broke it up before something got started, and can you beilive she still slipped her her phone number....

And that's it. I know something can be improved on, I just can't find it. I'm also new to the seduction world. I'm still a virgin and I going crazy...

[TheRogue]

Umm... that's not a DHV story. As a girl, here's the message I would get from this:

1.) For some reason you incite hostility from other guys.
2.) You walk away from an insult instead of disarming the guy like "really, we haven't met you either. I'm "so-and-so" and you are?"
3.) Hot girls are a big deal (since you have to specifically mention they're hot...)
4.) You can't control your temper and girls had to hold you back in a fight. Aggression is actually a bad thing. It's much sexier when you disarm your enemies with wit and charm (unless you're in a dark alley and they want something...) Getting in a fight over a couple chicks is NOT a DHV.
5.) The story in general is pretty negative. You want to focus DHV stories around a positive experience, or negative experience that you turned positive at the end.

My 2 cents,

Rogue

[lemonwinhead]

thanks so much. i wasn't really sure how to write a DHV story, but I think I understand a little better now

[El Torrero]

by the way its DHV (Demonstration of higher Value)
not DVH?

but im new here 2 so i dont have a story either