Critique my routine: handshakes

[Whassup]

This is still work in progress, could use some help / critique. Which parts would you eliminate? I thought it would be good to have something like this in your arsenal because shaking hands is so common.

? indicate areas which need work

General characteristics: strength, firm, limp, vigor, duration, eye contact, temperature, dryness, skin texture, # of fingers, smile, up and down motion

1) Firm = confident; more open, liberal, intellectual and open to new experiences.
2) Droopy / limp = shy, insecure; unsure of yourself; or maybe you have arthritis or you're a piano player and you're scared of messing up your hands; these violate Newton's 3rd law they offer no equal and opposite reaction.
3) Jackhammer handshake: vigorous up and down motion using entire arm; overly eager, insecure; doesn't know when to quit; stalling because of not knowing what to do next.
4) Knuckle cruncher- too tight grip; earnest but nervous. means to convey warmth thru a tight grip but only causes you pain; lacks sensitivity.
5) Hand sandwhich - the shaker envelopes both of your hands with both of hers; politician's shake; "world leader" vibe; shows warmth and friendliness; sincere; or maybe he thinks your hand is cold
6) ?? NEEDS A NAME - skip right past the handshake and go right for a big hug; ??
7) Frank sinatra handshake or some other famous person - ??
8) Left handed handshake – you're a weirdo
9) Sanitary handshaker- barely puts 3 or 4 fingers in your hand—and then withdraws them quickly, afraid of catching a disease. Appear timid and sheepish.
10) Direct eye contact during shake - communicates an honest desire to meet the person

Whassup

[Whassup]

BUMP. How about some feedback? Is this routine no good?

[Trinity Hawk]

Patience little one . . .

Yes, handshakes are important because they are such a common social practice, and they end up conveying soo much -- usually more than we think. So it would be great for us to be more conscious of what messages we are sending and receiving during this time.

As for feedback: I would put #6 last and simply call it, "No handshake". For example . . .

No Handshake
A. Skips handshake and goes straight in for the hug
1. Possible sign of friendliness and genuine lack of self-consciousness
2. She might have wanted a little more from you, or to inspect your scent
(I know I've been guilty of that!)
3. Possible display of over-eagerness
--Listen for the pitch of her voice to help you discern
B. Refuses handshake/ makes no physical contact
1. Maybe you caught her on a bad day
2. Maybe someone has "warned" her about you
3. Maybe she's really not a friendly being
4. How is your hygiene? Arm-pits? Breath?
5. Overall, obviously not a good sign

Just some food for thought my friend. Thanks for getting the list off to a great start and good luck!

[jacq69]

Originally Posted by Whassup

This is still work in progress, could use some help / critique. Which parts would you eliminate? I thought it would be good to have something like this in your arsenal because shaking hands is so common.

? indicate areas which need work

General characteristics: strength, firm, limp, vigor, duration, eye contact, temperature, dryness, skin texture, # of fingers, smile, up and down motion

1) Firm = confident; more open, liberal, intellectual and open to new experiences.
2) Droopy / limp = shy, insecure; unsure of yourself; or maybe you have arthritis or you're a piano player and you're scared of messing up your hands; these violate Newton's 3rd law they offer no equal and opposite reaction.
3) Jackhammer handshake: vigorous up and down motion using entire arm; overly eager, insecure; doesn't know when to quit; stalling because of not knowing what to do next.
4) Knuckle cruncher- too tight grip; earnest but nervous. means to convey warmth thru a tight grip but only causes you pain; lacks sensitivity.
5) Hand sandwhich - the shaker envelopes both of your hands with both of hers; politician's shake; "world leader" vibe; shows warmth and friendliness; sincere; or maybe he thinks your hand is cold
6) ?? NEEDS A NAME - skip right past the handshake and go right for a big hug; ??
7) Frank sinatra handshake or some other famous person - ??
8) Left handed handshake – you're a weirdo
9) Sanitary handshaker- barely puts 3 or 4 fingers in your hand—and then withdraws them quickly, afraid of catching a disease. Appear timid and sheepish.
10) Direct eye contact during shake - communicates an honest desire to meet the person

Whassup

I think this could work. It might work well later on after the opener and after you've ignored the target a while. Once you "meet" the target and shake her hand you could potentially work this into a palm reading exercise. That's the best way I can think of it. Simply say "let me see your hands for a minute." as you've already got one she'll likely just give you the other.

[skr]

Wait, do you want to use this as material "Hey you know how much you can tell about a person from the way they shake hands?" Or are you using this to read into someone?

If the former, it has potential + very basic kino (shaking hands is well within social norms, while kino must go beyond these norms). I think as a routine you would want to flesh it out. For example, just going down them like a list is pretty boring, whereas at a party you could say "And you see that guy over there in all black with the leather boots? Yeah he's definitely creepy, he did the "Never let go" shake... (you take her hand, stare expressionlessly into her eyes mocking the guy while continuing to talk, and keep shaking for like ten seconds) ...I think he wanted my blood." And if she pipes in you have a fun rapport creating fantasy interpretations of everyone at the party. Just make sure it's all in fun and you're not actually insulting anyone.

Is that what you're trying to do? I don't think you're actually trying to read people "Ohhhh, this guy is a sanitary freak".

[Cohiba]

This could be interesting. I personally love to use little things I noticed long after I have noticed them. "Thats interesting... you said this but earlier I noticed you..." Sorta lets her know that I'm on top of things. I suppose it may be kinda awkward to point out an initial hand shake though.

[temporary]

I think this is in the same category as reading body language/eye movements.

It also can be used to lead into the finger length routine or palm reading...or maybe even spinning them out of their chair to take their seat, but that one may be asking too much too quick.

None the less, good post Whassup. I'm defintely gonna play around with this.

[Whassup]

The intention is not to go down the list, but use 1-2 of them if the right situation arises. Good to have in your arsenal, but to be honest I haven't been trying it out too much any more, cuz it wasn't creating enough interest in the field. Though I still think it has potential, just needs more field testing and modifying.

Still haven't busted out w/ "your handshake violates newtons 3rd law" gonna try that next time I get a crappy handshake!

One caution of the jackhammer handshake - chill on the jackhammer motion! I spilled the girls drink a little when I got a little crazy with it!

[temporary]

and just to add, I've been reading "the definitive book of body language" and there's a few more things on handshakes.

If they reach with their palm down they are showing some kind of dominate feelings to you. palm up is submissive. when both people try to be the dominate, palm down hand, they might kind of "equal out" into a good 50/50, vertical/vertical hand shake (I just made that term up). Neither person let the other turn their hand over so they start off with a mutual respect for each other.

That book has some good stuff. I'd recommend it.