Motivation...

[TheRealDeal08]

Sticking point: I am unmotivated in general at life. If i were to grade everything, i have a B average job, looks, social circle, success with women, athletic ability (sports), and had a 3.0 GPA in college. I want to be an A+ in all of them and daydream about winning the lottery, sleepin with a new hottie every night, living an awesome life, having an amazin job and financial security. I just don't have the motivation/want though to work hard at anything.

My B averages I have gotten purely through instinctual ability...i am fairly confident, smart enough to get B's without trying, interview well enough to get a pretty good job, and funny/normal enough to have a fairly decent sized social circle...none of it being due to me working really hard to achieve anything. Even the thing in life I "love" the most, basketball I have no motivation (except daydreaming about being taller, more athletic, and the NBA) to really get better. I was always good at it and won some championships, and im better than most people but still not close to the people that practice all day and really get good at it.

Is anyone else like this, have nothing more than wayward dreams of wanting to be really awesome but incapable of motivation to actually make it happen? Any advice, anything someone that was like this did to progress? (Plz not, it's your life take it by the horns..like real advice, something you listen to every morning, something that has made a real consistent change in your energy level and motivation)

[TheRogue]

Let me just say that unless you have some life-changing ephiphany, you're not gonna suddenly get motivated to fix all areas of your life in one day. You can't get an A+ by blowing off class all year and cramming everything the night before the final. It takes consistent work for an extended period of time, as well as putting in a little extra at key times (before the final).

A key trait that you need to develop to improve your life is self-discipline. There is a great article out there on self-discipline (and I'll post the link once I find it), which basically says that self-discipline is a muscle. You have to develop it every day, and it will get stronger. Use it to build good habits that will get you further in life than you are now.

The key thing about developing self-discipline is to take it one day at a time. Every day, you make small decisions (such as eating that burger vs. a salad) that affect THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Those decisions build habits; your habits add up to form your character. Five years later you can be the fat guy who can't get off the couch or the fit guy getting laid with that HB10.

Think about the decisions you make every day. What you eat, whether you work out, whether you approach that HB8 looking at you or pass her by... You know the decision that will get you to an A+. Make it. Eat those vegetables. Run that extra lap. Talk to the girl. Build the habits that will get you where you want to be.

Good luck,

Rogue

[Realism]

from years of pot abuse i get in these moods... some days i will go all out... do a shed load of work, chat too people because i want too.... laugh, be happy doing what i want..

other days i cant be arsed too look at people ... yea it sucks.

but mine comes from depression...

1 bit of advice 1 day your going to die, and unless your reincarnated, this is your chance to be what you want.

you can be a mong all your life, never put in effort and gain FA...
or you can better yourself,

up2u.

btw, im realism, 20, london,uk. pleased to meet you

[BigDuke6]

"The Universe" rewards risk takers.

Realism, go to a doctor and get your depression treated.

[TheRealDeal08]

Lol, i think this thread turned into exactly what I hoped it wouldn't. Go be a risk taker, go do something isn't exactly what I was looking for in terms of suggestions. That is all implicit in motivation, you have to make it happen.

I know my goals, I know what I want but I have trouble actually being motivated to make it happen and instead am complacent with my marginal success. What I really wanted was how people stay focused on a task day after day after day. That is not motivation I guess it is dedication. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't really motivating me because, in all honesty, the area of the tunnel i am in is pretty well lit already.

So..for the cliffnotes version..what do you do to stay dedicated everyday to improving at something? Exercise 15 minutes, 10 minutes of yoga, eating skittles, what are the little things you do daily that make the bigger change happen?

[TrueStory]

Originally Posted by TheRealDeal08

Lol,

I know my goals, I know what I want but I have trouble actually being motivated to make it happen and instead am complacent with my marginal success. What I really wanted was how people stay focused on a task day after day after day. That is not motivation I guess it is dedication. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't really motivating me because, in all honesty, the area of the tunnel i am in is pretty well lit already.

Motivation is like a muscle you have to work is words of wisdom. But when you go lifting weights for the first time you don't just pickup 300lb and do squats ...

One small thing at a time.

You're just being a "whiney bitch" for lack of better word

I am the same way and it used to piss me off that I have so much potential but how do I get started...... .the hardest part is getting started.

We all seek instant gratification, it's our nature.

Well here is what I did and do:

One little thing at the time, is good advice, but sometimes it's even hard to get motivated to even do that little thing at a time. You gotta focus.

Your un-motivated attitude comes from:
- your diet. You are what you eat. Some vitamins and certain foods make your moods change. Unmotivated mood is form of mild depression. Check out this book: Amazon.com: The Mood Cure: The 4-Step Program to Take Charge of Your Emotions--Today: Julia Ross: Books

- your sleep and exercise. ........ Yoga is relaxing, but weight lifting increases your testosterone. Having healthy lungs and heart will help your blood deliver more oxygen to your head. Which helps you feel more focused.

- drinking, drugs, etc. Naturally, very depressant substances

And you know last resort, consider talking to your psychiatrist.
Maybe a mild dose of adderol will help you focus better. Once you focused, you'll feel more accomplished. Unfortunately, I am mildly bipolar and I get mood swings. I am also ADHD and somewhat OCD. Maybe you have ADHD and hard time staying focused?


and

[Spanish_Prisoner]

Originally Posted by TheRealDeal08

Sticking point: I am unmotivated in general at life. If i were to grade everything, i have a B average job, looks, social circle, success with women, athletic ability (sports), and had a 3.0 GPA in college. I want to be an A+ in all of them and daydream about winning the lottery, sleepin with a new hottie every night, living an awesome life, having an amazin job and financial security. I just don't have the motivation/want though to work hard at anything.

My B averages I have gotten purely through instinctual ability...i am fairly confident, smart enough to get B's without trying, interview well enough to get a pretty good job, and funny/normal enough to have a fairly decent sized social circle...none of it being due to me working really hard to achieve anything. Even the thing in life I "love" the most, basketball I have no motivation (except daydreaming about being taller, more athletic, and the NBA) to really get better. I was always good at it and won some championships, and im better than most people but still not close to the people that practice all day and really get good at it.

Is anyone else like this, have nothing more than wayward dreams of wanting to be really awesome but incapable of motivation to actually make it happen? Any advice, anything someone that was like this did to progress? (Plz not, it's your life take it by the horns..like real advice, something you listen to every morning, something that has made a real consistent change in your energy level and motivation)

You basically describe me, point to point. I could replace basketball with filmmaking and it would mean same just for me. School grades and social circle, everything just by doing because you do it but with not much effort but daydreaming of more cause what you got now seems so easy to achieve.

There are more of us out there than many think, just not many are conscious of it that much.

What I realized and beforehead read in some psychological books (and even some successful screenwriters told) is when you get the praise you don't work more, cause you got the praise already. And if the praise you got it by doing the average shit you do all day, how can you be motivated to do more? It's natural to you be good at doing nothing.

Now it is logical, it isn't hardwired to the factual part of life. It is hardwired to the emotional/chemical part of your being/brain. You say you daydream about, dreaming in whatever sense, fantasizing... I do that too. I love that. I feel so comfortable in my world, I get all the praise I want. Why go ahead and get stressed with it if you can get it in an instant? Many don't have the ability or don't know they have the ability that's why they go through the length to achieve the hard way.

I realized not long ago, that daydreaming and fantasizing, while great they are, isn't good for me. It's like opium or any kind of relaxing/releaving drugs.

You have to kill the daydreaming/fantasizing stuff while you are "sober". Don't let them come near you. The chemicals shouldn't flow anytime on autopilot. They usually do get on autopilot while you are weak.

Do you agree that you never feel bored when you are just with yourself? I never do.

If you kill fantasizing, you will have to get the chemical reactions in your brain somewhere else and that is from reality, grounded one. You are smart enough to understand this... just how strong are you to make it true?

There's much more to it. But if you just try one week not fantasizing. Only that. If you just consciously shut it up. Even while sleepy before going to bed or while in bed. You'll know the difference immensily.

[Dumptruck]

RealDeal,

I know what you are talking about, I am alot like you. my sport is rugby my job is sales/marketing and I am rocking b-pluses across the board in life. However, once in a while I really step out of my comfort zone and when I do it feels pretty awesome. just remember how good those times feel and recreate them. I should take my own advice here as well, but just throwing in my 2 cents.

If you want a daily solution, maybe spend 5 minutes every morning thinking about a time you stepped out of your zone and had a success and the feeling you got from that.

Another random idea: I was reading an article in sports illustrated a while ago high school kids who were awesome at sports and live in Oakland in neighbourhoods with tons of gang problems. The main kid in the story used to say the "pledge of success" every morning:

Today is a new day, a new beginning.

It has been given to me as a new gift.

I can either use it or throw it away.

What I do today will affect me tomorrow.

I cannot blame anyone but myself if I do not succeed.

I promise to use this day to the fullest by giving my best, realizing it can never come back again.

This is my life and I choose to make it a success.

full article here: TO ESCAPE GANGS AND VIOLENCE, KIDS OFTEN TURN TO SPORTS. - 06.30.08 - SI Vault

probably not the answer you are looking for but worth reading.