I can't figure out this girls signals!

[Mafiusu]

Hey guys,
I haven't posted much here but I have read alot and done plenty of practicing. I'm no Rico Suave but I have a small amount of charm with the ladies. At any rate, here's the current situation:

I am going to college and working at a coffee shop. I have a girlfriend but I am currently skeptical about what the future has in store for that. At work all day I practice my game on any hb6+ who comes in, additionally there are a large number of hb8+'s who work theren that I occasionally flirt with. So I started building rapport with one coworker, [we'll call her] HB8. The semester starts at the college that she and I go to and she tries to convince me to take a class with her. At first I didn't sign up cause I wanted to take a different class that was at that time but the class was full so I had an empty timeslot, so the second week of class I started going. She seemed pretty stoked which I saw as a good sign [obviously]. So I find out that she not only has a boyfriend but she mentioned (to someone else) she is hoping he will propose soon (which is fucking wierd to hear from a 19yr old girl). She never voices these thoughts to me when we talk though. Whenever we talk she is relatively passive in her interest of me, sometimes she even seems genuinely frustrated with me (usually because I am really cocky). But she frequently text messages me to see whats up, more than any of my friends and almost as much as my girlfriend. Not only that but she txted me last friday that she "had a dream about me". I say something cocky back ("Was I the best you ever had?" haha) and she responds "haha, I woke up thinking we were going out". So, the txt message conversation quickly got into more interesting territory, at one point there was mention of "good food and good lovin", but it all seemed playful and non-committal. My confusion is this: whenever I talk to her in person she is incredibly passive, I mentioned the dream the next time I saw her and she didn't have anything else to say on the subject, just kind of acknowledged it and started saying how it was wierd to wake up wondering if the dream was real or not and then she started talking about dreams as if to avoid the subject entirely. But on the other hand our txt messages are generally more flirtatious and, recently, downright sexy. To add confusion she criticizes me frequently while we are working for flirting with female customers claiming that I "have a girlfriend and shouldn't be flirting with other girls."

So, I am getting serious mixed signals and I am hoping somone has some insight that can help me understand this or maybe some good ideas on how to probe her for a more clear definition. I am usually rather blunt with people so I am inclined to say something like this:
Me: "Do I make you shy or something?"
her: (yes, no whatever...)
Me: "Well, I am just thinking you seem pretty shy and reserved when your around just me"
her: blah blah blah

But that might be too confrontational or something. So any insight would be appreciated!

[sevenguru]

What settings are you talking with her face to face? At work there are plenty of distractions, and it could be hard to have a real conversation. And during the day is not the same as texting at night in bed, or as soon as she wakes up.

Do you notice any IOIs at all when you are around her? From your description she seems like two totally separate people on text and in person. Is this really the case?

[The_Jedi]

Sounds to me like she is looking at you as a friend, nothing more. Even friends flirt occasionally, as long as it doesn't go any further and make either uncomfortable.

[sdnightfly]

Usually LJBF you can joke about sex and they laugh along.

Over the phone there's sort of a safety net, in person it's as if none of that stuff was ever said.

She sounds like she sort of loves him but feels that he's not giving her what she wants.

Definitely insecure, and someone that sounds like they're rethinking they're relationship, but it doesn't mean she's ready or wants to end it just yet.

Reducing the cockiness just a bit and increasing sincerity just a tiny bit, might get the answer you're looking for.

Plus with you having a girlfriend, she's holding back. She sounds relationship oriented for now, prob. lost her virginity to the guy and by 21 she could be wild party girl. For all you know he might be looking elsewhere and ready to dump her. If he's 19 he might propose to her if she threatens to break up with him.

He might be taking her for granted and annoyed by her. If he finds out, he might wind up challenging you in some way, or thanking you because he's into someone else. Most guys don't want "their women'' taken from them, plus there's her social circle and family..how they feel about him. They may think he's a great guy, or they may be waiting for her to move on.

If you're ready to dump your girlfriend and take your chances, or at least not be committed to anyone so you can freely flirt and more. Just not when she's around.

Her situation would be a bad ONS.... she's too inexperienced. But this is someone that I would think about as a potential steady girlfriend. I don't know if she'd be open to something casual, prob. not at this time in her life.

One hint: she never brings the boyfriend to the coffeeshop.

I would prob. hint at ending it with the girlfriend. Not saying it in those words, but saying you're feeling things changing between you and your gf and leaving it open ended.

What you want to know is if she's LJBF or LTR.