Girl won't get off the subject of dick size

[Mummiefied]

Im my experience, never tell a girl you have a small dick as a joke.

Ive always been told Im a funny guy but when I tell this one it always bombs:

If anyone, male or female go on the subject of piercings i used to say that always wanted to get my dick pierced...
.... it distracts the eye from my tiny penis.

Dont bother man, just tell its big enough to make her have a funny walk in the morning.

[TrueStory]

Originally Posted by Mummiefied

Im my experience, never tell a girl you have a small dick as a joke.

Ive always been told Im a funny guy but when I tell this one it always bombs:

If anyone, male or female go on the subject of piercings i used to say that always wanted to get my dick pierced...
.... it distracts the eye from my tiny penis.

Dont bother man, just tell its big enough to make her have a funny walk in the morning.

You must be pretty small, because seems like you're setting expectations too high by telling them you have a tiny penis!?

Just joking. Like with any joke, it's about delivery!

If you OVERLY exaggerate your tininess she knows you're joking and confident about your size.

And even if you think you have small dick, it's only as small as you think it is. I've talked to my female friends, and I always ask (for kicks): "what's the smallest you've ever been with?" and they either say: "it was small but he knew what he was doing so it didn't matter" or "it was ridiculously small and i could hardly contain myself from laughing".


I honestly don't know how it feels to have small dick. Not to brag, I am over average and never had any issues with my size. Even though i know some guys are bigger than me, I still don't care.

[Hotfeet]

It looks small next to my gigantic balls.

[mrgravez]

I was really drunk talking to a not so attractive girl and my friend whispers to her that I have a 13" penis, she immediately stopped talking to me and left lol

[retired_young]

This reminds me of a funny story. A buddy had a fraternity brother nicknamed Stumpy for his short dick. He used to say "I don't reach the bottom but I bang the shit out of the sides!"

Just tell her your friends call you Stumpy.

[sdnightfly]

If she's 38H, what's the rest of her build?

She tested you because you asked her bra size. I would've found out when I was looking at the tag once it was off of her. It's not a question that comes up often except in chat rooms and if she's really drunk.

Let her keep guessing until she can find out for herself and bring the measuring tape.

Originally Posted by SPM101

A girl I've been gaming and just using as a practice dummy. Haven't boned her etc just have made out and talk to occasionally. She all of a sudden texts me (this is the convo so far) btw what is in parentheses is my reactions and etc not what was in the text.

Girl: "How big is Riot jr."

Me: "I don't have any kids "

Girl: "You know what I meant"

Me: "Big enough to not answer a question like that"

Me: "Horny much?"

Girl: "Um no, it's not fair that you know my bra size when I don't know your size."(Note that we had a talk about why her bras come in the mail. Btw 38H. )

Me: "Ha only desperate guys measure. Most just find out for themselves"

Girl:"Well go get a ruler, whatever you need "

Me: "Ha anyways kiddo, what kid of paper are you writing" (Trying to get off topic)

Girl: "Why can't you just tell me babe? Is it small or something? (Damn)

Me: "Like I said kid if you want to know come over and find out. I don't wanna spoil the excitement."

Now shes not doing much, i don't really care. I don't usually have girls ask me how big I am they usually find out when they take it so my game in that department is kinda off.

[Bosshog83]

If you have a kid (or don't, it's somewhat of a hypothetical).

When asked, or referring you say this one line, works a charm

"It may not be massive, but it's big enough to fill a pram!"

Hilarity ensues.

[Petros]

Mate probably just telling her that it's not all that big or it's tiny in a sarcastic way now is a bad idea unless he brings it up in a convo now. I myself know that my dick isn't all that huge it's just about average so I never really lie, if you do have a small dick then again it's not a problem because at least you didn't lie and if you've got a 13" beast then it'll be a big suprise for her.

In any case it's probably just a shit test so only answer her if she asks again. If you do it before hand she'll take your answer at face-value if you do it when she asks, just say "small, really small, like microscopic" anyone who says that either isn't lying or quite clearly has nothing to hide someone who says "Me have big jumbo 30" schlong" is quite clearly over compensating. Another good but cheeky and risky answer is "find out yourself!"

[SPM101]

Originally Posted by sdnightfly

If she's 38H, what's the rest of her build?

She tested you because you asked her bra size. I would've found out when I was looking at the tag once it was off of her. It's not a question that comes up often except in chat rooms and if she's really drunk.

Let her keep guessing until she can find out for herself and bring the measuring tape.

I didn't ask, she gets bras in the mail and she told me they were because they were 38H

[Steveo69]

Tell her its cute about 1 inch long and always hard.

Steveo