Openers Bravo gets in her inbox...

[bravo29]

Here are some openers from a networking site I belong to that haven't been auto-deleted by my inbox manager yet...

Subject: Just wanted to say...
I don't think you're different from any of the other females at all. You're all alike. Matter of fact fakes with your personality are really common.

Even though this guy was a lot of fun to spar with, I got busy, my inbox was maxed out and I hadn't had time to read half of them, I went on a business trip and didn't response for awhile, so here's how he re-initiated contact:

Your picture gets really annoying popping up on my match list... It's always like number one or number two... Can you take some more tests so you don't have as much of a match percent? Btw how you been?

Did the trick. Got convo going again.


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Subject: And I thought I was the only one
Pickles and peanut butter? Together right? I prefer mine between slices of bread, but that's just me.

50+% plus enemy rating. Just the type of person I can have a lively, possibly contentious conversation with!

Feel like sharing ideas and challenging preconceptions? Pick a topic and IM me if you happen to catch me online

Anyone who shares my liking for pickles & peanut butter is interesting enough to get a response from me. I also liked the enemy rating line.

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I'd like to invite you to check out mine, too. My profile is worth a look.
I like your mindset. You're definitely self-aware and don't take any shit. Anyone thats taken the steps you have to improve their own life is an attractive person. I'm sure things'll work out to your satisfaction when the time is right. cheers,

This guy is cool. Not because of his intro, but his profile, personality, style, music (he's in a band), etc. He's different, seems secure with himself, seems to know who he is, etc. "I'd like to invite you to check out mine, too. My profile is worth a look" was a really good transition and giving himself value. Haven't chatted with him a lot, but if he lived closer would be someone I'd hang out with/be friends with.

Compare his reference to his profile to this other guy's & how different the effect is...

Hey...I live in the sticks a little, but I come down to seattle every so often to go out, go to concerts, whatever. You seem like you'd be a fun person to hang out with so let me know if you're interested. I also have a blog which might give you better perspective on myself. www....

I really wasn't inclined to check out his website like the other guy's. The other guy's was worth a look but this one "might" give a better perspective... very passive... not as sure of himself... needs confidence.

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it's not a gloomy day and i'm not the least bit sad but can you cheer me up anyway?

(smile)

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Hey beautiful

(yawn)

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Heya,

How's your week shaping up? Mine's going pretty well, should be all moved by the end of it. So where do you go dancing?

(another yawn)

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Subject:no xbox is no excuse! If you'd totally be a gamer with an Xbox, just fire up some solitaire, or minesweeper till you get one!

Context: I had something on my profile about xbox.
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Class up the ass? haha. Anyways, I saw you dance alot - wondering if you know any places for group ballroom dancing classes around the Tacoma area?

Context: I had something on my profile about having "class up the ass" (because I am stuck up and like fine dining, ballroom dancing, red wine, etc. opposed to pub crawling) and that line more than anything else has gotten the most references in the openers I've gotten... I'm not really sure what the big deal is, I don't even think it was that funny or original, it was just one of many things I wrote on a whim and because of that, when guys reference it, it kinda makes them go down a couple points...
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You are sooo cute, I'd adopt you. Put a little mat at the foot of my bed... you could sleep there I’ll tell you what, mail me back and tell me three qualities you possess that would make me want to get to know you better. I will, of course, mail you back if I like what you have to say

I reframed him and made him tell me why he was so much fun to hang out with. No way am I going to jump and qualify myself first... all-in-all decent opener. His looks helped him out a lot too.
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I like your profile, you are very interesting in the words in your profile.(I get a very positive vibe from you). Where to start, I guess with some questions as I look at your profile again.

What is your favorite outdoor activity?
Are you enjoying your summer so far?

Feel free to ask me anything!

Meh...

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Subject: Balanced waltz novice seeks chaos.

Hey,

Being a bare novice at the waltz, and entirely horrible at swing, I'd be happy to be your dance partner, provided:

- You actually know where to do such things around here (I don't, yet)
- You have a nice set of hard-to-crush shoes, and a sense of humor.

I can, however, offset my inexperience at dance with a ready challenging wit, and a firm belief that balance is highly overrated.

If you did grab that X-box, what sorts of games would you play?

(Oh, and the phrase "class up the ass" is hilarious.)

Other than his looooong intro, he actually was pretty witty eventually once he got going...

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Hey...

Welcome to [the site]! I've met a few interesting people here. I haven't decided if it's the place for serious relationships, but it's good for meeting people who you normally might not.

I think if you're mainly looking for friends, it's the perfect site. How long have you been devorced? Can I ask that? You don't have to answer.

I'm really not much of a dancer.....I'd definitely need lessons for ballroom, but I could be your sparring partner as soon as my face heals! I hope you don't hit as hard as fences

He needs a spell-check and a little work, but he's a nice guy.

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I'm kind of bored, so I felt compelled to tell you a few things.

I think your $10 pants are totally rocking. I'd probably even pay up to $12 for them. The shoes really pull the whole thing together though, don't they?

Also "I've got class up the ass" pretty much screams rock n' roll.

I maintain a list of people I would fight and even potentially like to lose a fight against. I'm going to add you to the list DIRECTLY under Barbra Streisand. Congratulations, no one I haven't met has entered the list at this high of a spot.

The bikini picture: I would have immediately fell in love with you if that picture was identical to how it really is, except instead of a dressing room, you were on a beach with the 'anti-theft' tag still on. Talk about hardcore.

Even though you obviously have a taste for great work clothing and theft of beach wear, in the last picture with the glasses, it appears that due to the shear magnitude and mass of your lenses that you're bench pressing them with your face. I would recommend smaller stunners so as to increase your mobility and decrease risk of serious neck injury.

That concludes this public service announcement.

This guy has an interesting imagination, enough to get a response; he needs to work on cutting his intros down a bit.

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Just curious...

You mentioned sparring partners on your profile and I had to ask.

For some reason that seems to have no connection, every breathtaking woman I have ever known has been into kickboxing.

I am wondering if that is what you are referring to, because that would be hilarious if there was a Hotness = Kickboxing Beauty axiom that nobody knew about

Nice guy and all, but there was something lost in translation that actually caused me to take initial offense and not in a good way, but a 'next' way...

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Hi,

I just wanted to send you a quick message to compliment you on a great page, and also to point out that you and I are apparently only 16% enemies.

My name is .., by the way. From reading about your thoughts and interests, it seems like we may have some common ground and similar ideas that might make for quality discussion. I'm definitely interested in learning more about you if you're mutually-interested.

In any case, I hope that you had a terrific weekend and that perhaps I'll get to hear back from you soon.

This guy needs a little work but is a nice guy.

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So aside from the desire for pickles and peanut butter are you enjoying the [online] experience or are you being bombarded with 'holla' boys and other assortments of idiots? I make no excuses for them but pretty women do strange things to men. I can only say that I dont 'holla' or wear my hat sideways and when I chat I usually have something interesting to say.
I would assume that you have already gotten inundated with emails everyday with the photos that you posted (yes amazing but you have already heard that 1000 times) so I am hoping to get through. I am actually one of those who are worth listening to and even chatting with.

PS..Its always good to end on a positive note so I will borrow from Nietzsche.... And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh

Nice guy, but way too long dude. I responded back something about all his facts being correct and asking if/where he goes dancing.

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"I've got class up the ass."

There's a beautiful irony in that statement that begged me to message you. So I don't normally message girls that are 'older' than me, but you seem immature enough to where I can't see it mattering all that much (take that as a compliment, please). I do so hope you message me back... I am one of the people on this site that really just likes meeting new people and am far to wrapped up in myself right now for a serious relationship (tried it, didn't work out too well). I feel that other than my innate fear of extreme sports (as to not injure my hands/wrists/arms/anything connected to said parts), we'd get along totally swimmingly. So yeah... be cool and write me back.

-

Not interested, but not a total loser, can't remember if i messaged back or not. I'm just now going through some of these...

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Hi,
I just happened to notice that you like pickles and peanut butter. There is a very interesting burger for you to try. Pickles, peanut butter and cheddar cheese. Yep, it's good. The Four B's in Ballard has one like that they call the After-school Special and King's Hardware, also in Ballard, makes one similar. Give it a try if you haven't. Odd message but it's lunch time and I'm hungary.
~ciao,
or chow, I guess,

This guy is just odd enough to be on my team. And his dreadlocks are pretty crazy too. I like that. Wouldn't date anyone with bugs in their hair, protein is for food not fashion, but as far as networking and friendships go, I love diversity.

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Hey!!! Hows it going?
Pickles and peanut butter huh?

Doh, they are figuring out I respond if they say the magic p & pb words...

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Hi my names.... I read your profile and you state you like to kickbox. Which type arobic or the martial art style? do you practice often?

Straight to business... not my preference but it at least forms common ground and comfort for him since its an area he's really familiar with. It's at least talking about something other than hey, how is your summer, bla bla.

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subject: friends first?
You do have beautiful eyes anyways read my profile if you r ok with everything msg back.usually me being a dad is scary to people. Also my pic isnt clear but I can tell you people say I am atractive( hot daddy they call me)

This guy has a picture of only half of his face and basically said some people find him scary. Not what he meant, but can read that way to some. I responded back with a simple, "k." He responded back asking if that was a good or bad thing. I responded back, "undecided." Then he responded back more details, and I finally laid out there for him:
1) Don't ever say the word, "scary" in any type of correlation to yourself (when things are in written format, there's no tone to counterbalance any creepy undertone that was given with that)...
2) Put a full picture up so I can see your face. (that's just shady and weird only looking at their jaw...)

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hey nice lady, how r you? i am bored, just wondering if you
would like to chat? by the way u r lookin hot

Normally a yawn, but the guy is probably used to getting away with it because he's so ridiculously hot and lives in Turkey. Ok, so super hottie, he got a free pass on his opener. Girls can be shallow too.
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you seem cool,im recently divorced too, just looking to chill. im a sushi chef at wasabe, come by some time.

Ok, decent, but nothing striking either.

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If I had some gloves I'd spar with you! I wish I noticed you before tonight, and I pity the bloke that lost you. Do you want to have tea tomorrow?

By how his hippie and counter-culture personality reads from his profile, he does seem like the type of person I would have tea with in the afternoon. Unfortunately, he lives too far away.

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Nice profile. So what are you up to? Done anything exciting this summer?

(yawn)
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So what kind of sparring do you like to do? and if we hung out and ballroom danced could you give me a refresher course i havent done that in awhile lol so how are you doing?

(another yawn... c'mon guys amuse me... )
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Wow, You added some amazing pictures.

You are certainly attracting attention I am sure !

Hope your week is kicking as much tail as mine.

argh...

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What the hell is an asshat and where did it come from? Wikipedia seems to think the term is a bit off . . . . But I assume since your profile/journal seems to be quite methodical as well as articulate you might have a definition of the term.
If nothing else, I spent more time reading your thoughts than anyone else this evening! Quite amusing, thank you!

Best of tonight ~

This guy read my journal entry and was responding to a term I used in it... it was an okay opener, it at least showed he actually read my profile and journal which, points for him, is super annoying when guys don't even read my profile and then we hang out and they get the deer in the headlight look, "what do you mean you're only on there for friends..."

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now you don't eat the pickles and peanut butter together do ya?! lol!
how are you doing on this fine sunday?

Doesn't matter that he mentioned pickles and peanut butter because this guy is a stalker that won't go away. Block and next...

[trackfire]

Thanks for the help! This really helps in shaping up my messages. I've been trying to make them more personal, but it seems that it doesn't work on a lot of women. I use openers, but they require routines and stuff...and the more intelligent women that I go for typically pick up on that anyway.

[DeadEyeDick]

Thank you, Bravo, for posting these, so we can get a sense of what the rest of the world is doing!

Boys: Don't jump to the wrong conclusions from Bravo's reactions to these emails.

Yes, there are some obvious "don'ts" to be learned.

On the other hand, there is a "fit" between your personality (as it comes through in initial emails) and the chick you're writing to.

And that "fit" has many different elements to it. So what turned Bravo off might connect well with someone else.

The most consistent thing you have in you toolbox is your own personality. That, coupled with the idea that provocative/interesting subject lines with text that shows you read the person's profile are important.

[trackfire]

I agree with DeadEye here.

When I used "canned" material to open conversation with women online, the conversations would usually fall short somewhere because of a compatibility issue. Furthermore, they flat out didn't work on more intelligent women.

However, when I personalized my messages and used "the rules" to construct it (i.e. showing high value, being a little funny, but less cocky since it's the Internet, etc.), I got very good replies out of them. In fact, I'm in conversation with a few women right now from those openers...

From all of the time I've spent doing this, I learned that if you don't sound boring, but at the same time don't sound fabricated, you'll do okay. It's a numbers game, so sell yourself to the women you're looking for, but pitch to everyone that you can!

[HeretoLearnbaby]

Where I find this very informative, somtimes its a repetative vein competition of "Who's not interested" the most.. that shit is boring and really annoying. if I can try to translate most of her post, sounds somthing like this.

Guy: Well well Giggity gitty, tell me why I should like you?

Girl: Butterflies and swans move my soul, I am going on a business trip.

Guy: Be right back, I am planning a 3-day party.

Girl: Touche'

FUCKING hell.. But on a more serious note, are there any better ways to get a girls attention, besides writting how un-interested you are in her and/or figuring out a complex bullshit irrelevent line that makes me sound like a jack ass? just wondering. But I have no experience with online crap, so I guess words are your only weapon to convey personality, thats why I like real life because I can be more intense.

[HeretoLearnbaby]

Okay I'm going to eat my own words here, because while I dont have any fucking clue where these conversations are going to lead me, I copied the

"I don't think you're different from any of the other females at all. You're all alike. Matter of fact fakes with your personality are really common."

and already got 2 responses, whereas I can be sending 10 emails all day and not get one response. So keep doing what you're doing, I'm just going to send this line to 50 girls.

A girl though, who isn't so cute got pissed off, whereas a girl who was decently cute just said "Excuse me?"

interesting.

[bravo29]

Originally Posted by HeretoLearnbaby

Okay I'm going to eat my own words here, because while I dont have any fucking clue where these conversations are going to lead me, I copied the

"I don't think you're different from any of the other females at all. You're all alike. Matter of fact fakes with your personality are really common."

and already got 2 responses, whereas I can be sending 10 emails all day and not get one response. So keep doing what you're doing, I'm just going to send this line to 50 girls.

A girl though, who isn't so cute got pissed off, whereas a girl who was decently cute just said "Excuse me?"

interesting.

This guy has his own thing going on. Here's some old messages...

His opener: I don't think you're different from any of the other females at all. You're all alike. Matter of fact fakes with your personality are really common.

My response: Oooh, ouch, do you feel of higher value now?

Him: Nope, was just reading your profile... I knew you wouldn't like that response but it's the same response your profile is screaming out for! Don't tell me I'm pretty, or that I look good, just tell me how great of a personality I have... that should set me apart from everyone... lol. So I figured commenting on your personality would set a little spark off... and well guess I just wanted to see your reaction. =) You weren't as mean as I figured you would be though..

My response: ...(Yawn)...You weren't as fun as I'd hoped you'd be...

Him: LMAO!!!! Really, well, sorry was trying to tone down the fun so maybe you could keep up... being that you're old and all... Way out of my age requirements... The problem with people your age is they just can't keep up... and as I learned in speech class years ago you must taylor to your audience... Some fun you were with your one line remarks... It's ok, I won't hold it against you... you might like that too much

My response: You obviously have no experience with women my "age"...

Him: Sure I do. You all think you can teach a young guy something and you try to use that line to get them in bed.. then your a horrible lay... not to mention that your conversation is horrible.. as you can see below.. and you have no idea what to do with yourselves let alone a guy... so as a result you buy yourselves toys to keep you entertained so you don't look like an idiot. HAHAHAHA

My response, pretending to let him win a little and justify my "age" group of women: I'm not playing into your palm. You already know it's the peak time, you already know how much more confident and pleasing women in their late twenties and early thirties are compared to shy, insecure and inexperienced younger chicks... stop playing.

Him: Stop playing??? Ah, come on... I'm good at games!! Course your a female I'm sure you know all about gamees. The reality of it, dear, is that women get more desperate because they realize they are getting older. So, in return they try and try and try to make things work but some overly confident people like yourself just can't seem to get it right. That's why you find yourself on the internet talking to a retarded person like me who's only real goal is to piss you off for fun. =)Ah, what... you letting me get under your skin so easily??? I knew you were easy!

Me: I wouldn't call insomnia my being desperate to talk to anyone. I actually enjoy mindless bantering back and forth. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not easy. "I'm a challenge to your balance." You give a good game but still amateur. Keep trying, you're improving with each comeback.

Him: First off, you are no challenge to me unless I make you a challenge. Right now your just a pointless individual that I accidently ran across. NO more, no less. Second, as you can tell I'm no pick-up artist. Matter of fact I'm the exact opposite. I spent two and a half years after my ex and I seperated pissing girls off just for fun. Your newly divorced right... you weren't worth it to him... what makes you think you would be worth my time??? Lastly, how the hell did one stupid comment come this far??? If anything the challenge is not you the challenge is me. If you figure out how in the world to captivate me then you could do that to any guy. But, unfortunately I know you can't win. =)

Me: Nice job. You've got the right outlook for it, I think you're well on your way. A little more coaching and mentorship... a few less words... but you're on the right track.

Him: That's what I thought, back down... You have nothing on me excpet your ego.

Me, ready to be nice and flip the convo around: Just noticed the nice pic of you with muscles... How long have you been into bodybuilding? What diet and workout plan were you following? I was into bodysculpting for awhile and hoping to get back into it... but still get a gag reflex from tuna...

And then after that it was pretty regular convo until I dropped off the radar for my work trip and then I already shared how he got initiated re-contact.

[HeretoLearnbaby]

Out of curiousity, is this your idea of a fun conversation? Sounds like you guys are sitting back insulting each other.. not really my style.

[dhies]

Originally Posted by HeretoLearnbaby

Out of curiousity, is this your idea of a fun conversation? Sounds like you guys are sitting back insulting each other.. not really my style.

Gotta read in between the lines, bro.

Hell, it took me a long time before I realized what was going on when I heard a guy and a girl going back and forth like that. I tried to do the AFC thing and pretty much got shot down.

Now, I just go up to the guy and say, well done!

Usually gets a good/great response from the girl. Plus, it helps get me back into the swing of things. haha

I'm kinda an ass anyway.

[mindquicken]

Originally Posted by HeretoLearnbaby

Out of curiousity, is this your idea of a fun conversation? Sounds like you guys are sitting back insulting each other.. not really my style.

It's how online game works. I investigated this phenomenon myself and was surprised by the differences between online game and real-life game. Online game is MUCH, MUCH harder.