Opening up emotionally to gf

[jscore]

Ok, been seeing this girl for 2 months but pretty intensely lately.

She's extremely nice and sensitive and doesn't really shit-test me alot. We were talking about her family and she started to cry about some issues. I was going to leave to go somewhere, but decided to stay to listen to her problems and offer suggestions, etc.

Is this something that an alpha frame would do? I think I may have went a bit overboard opening up to her like to my own sister on some issues--so that she can feel better about her own problems.

Obviously she felt a lot better, and thanked me for it, but I know that a woman doesn't really respond to this niceties like to a jerk, etc. But I also don't want to be some jerk who acts like they don't give a shit.

Thoughts?

[Fresno Smooth]

well do you give a shit
if you do then you made the right decision IMO

have you guys had sex or anythign in those 2 months?
whats your escalation like? kino?

[jscore]

We've been having sex like 5 days a week, alot alot of it. No issue there.

I thought I would never have to say this, but I don't want to lose my frame; I think she was responding well when I didn't as much shit about her probs, so why fuck with a good thing. OTOH, I don't wanna seem like some emotionally distant guy.

[Fresno Smooth]

keep it how it was
if she is in need then open up a bit
just dont become the guy who crys at movies or when he hears a song cause you opened up once and your fucking golden!

[Sarge in Charge]

Its true, be a nice guy all the time and you'll find that cliches are cliches because they are true - you will finish last.

But be jerk all the time and you'll drive her away eventually too.

The answer is... be both! And know when to be what.

Read "Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida.

She's extremely nice and sensitive and doesn't really shit-test me alot. We were talking about her family and she started to cry about some issues. I was going to leave to go somewhere, but decided to stay to listen to her problems and offer suggestions, etc.

She was obviously in need. You did the right thing.

I think she was responding well when I didn't as much shit about her probs, so why fuck with a good thing.

As the two of you become more serious, she will expect support at times. I mean, would you like to be with someone long term who didn't give a fuck about your problems?

OTOH, I don't wanna seem like some emotionally distant guy.

Opening up at times shows strength, builds a deep connection, and makes your relationship REAL. Just make sure you are still LEADING the relationship and being the strong one.

Like I said, its a matter of knowing when to do what.

[orion76]

Originally Posted by jscore

Is this something that an alpha frame would do? I think I may have went a bit overboard opening up to her like to my own sister on some issues--so that she can feel better about her own problems.

There is nothing alpha about not caring about your girls' problems.

The reason why women are attracted to alpha males is because being with an alpha male makes them feel safe and protected. Subconsciously a woman feels that if she were in distress then you (the alpha male) will be able to handle the situation and protect her.

If she is seriously upset about something then the alpha thing to do is to listen to her problems and try to make her feel better. She needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes and she needs to know that you care. If you walk out on her when she is in distress then IMO you are showing her that she can't depend on you for protection, this is the opposite of being an alpha male.

You did the right thing.

[FemmeFatale]

Originally Posted by Sarge in Charge

.

The answer is... be both! And know when to be what.
.

Thats all you need to know right there. How do you be both? You be good when its deserved , when not, you be bad..and if its never deserved then do it randomly.