Had sex with other women, been dating other women, DOESNT help. Advice? - The Attraction Forums

PaulB007 · #1 08-15-2008, 01:32 PM

I posted a week or two ago about how I lost my girlfriend and that she was coming back to take her remaining items from my house, and I begged for advice on anything I could say to keep her here. It was thrown into worst of.

BEFORE YOU LOCK/DELETE, PLEASE READ ON.

Since her and I broke up close to a month now, I have went out and met other women, I have f-closed three of these women, and have others interested that I could probably close as well. I am dating one, and may meet up with more. I just got back from a hotel I stayed at last night with one of the girls I closed.

When I finished, I felt completely disgusted, and empty. Infact, I've felt WORSE with each girl I have slept with. Nothing has been helping me. I am trying so hard to move on and fuck other women, but it brings me absolutely no joy or satisfaction. I realize now what I want out of all this. Not to live the rockstar lifestyle or have sex with anyone I want, but that person that I can truly enjoy my time and company with.

I had that person, and I really messed it up. I took the advice here, have been improving my life and skill set, have been having sex and dating other women, but it does not help me feel any better. I think I may have lost a special woman.

I'm just asking that I get some advice and not have this thread deleted. I let my other one get deleted, and I took previous advice and have been trying my best, but it just isnt working. Since you've seen my effort, im hoping that some of the more veteran/advanced members here can give me some sort of advice to help me here.

I was with my girlfriend over a year, things were great, we had our ups and downs just like any relationship.. over the course of a month I got lazy. I took her for granted, treated her like shit sometimes, flirted a bit too much with other women (didnt cheat) and didn't help her as much as I should have in a time of need for her. She moved back home with her mom four hours from here, is going to go to school there and says she is going to move in with a girlfriend of hers. I've apologized and said that I would never behave like such a douche bag again, but its no dice. She says she needs space ect now, I hurt her and said that I wouldn't do this again like I did last time.

I thought I wanted other women, but I was wrong. I lost her and my mind is clear. I'd love to patch this up and make things right, as she still loves me, and I love her. She just doesn't trust me right now and thinks staying with me will make her end up being hurt in the end. Right now we aren't really talking, I said I wasn't going to try and chase her about the issue anymore, that she could talk to me when she is ready. Is there anything I can do to fix this?

BigDuke6 · #2 08-15-2008, 02:22 PM

No. Look forward to the future and better days.

TheRogue · #3 08-15-2008, 03:29 PM

Once you lose trust, you pretty much lose the relationship. You hurt her, took her for granted, and she chose to move on. There is very little you can do about it at this point.

What I would do is give her time, and take time for yourself as well. Improve yourself as a person. Work on making yourself better in all areas of life, and let the knowledge that you're making yourself a better person fill the void that sex with random women won't fill up for you. Take comfort in knowing that when you meet another woman whom you have a special connection with, you will treat her well and not repeat your mistakes.

People say it takes about half the time that you've been with someone to get over them. So if you've been with her for a year, it might take up to 6 months. It's normal to feel like shit right now. But you HAVE to move on, one step at time in the right direction.

Good luck,

Rogue

_Game_ · #4 08-15-2008, 07:44 PM

As Rogue said, the key is time. You still feel emotionally attached to her which is normal, but soon this attachment will start to dwindle. How do I know this, im currently going through this. And you did not lose a special women, you feel the way you do because humans want what they cant have. You want her because you lost her, if you were to get her again, it would not be long until you realise there are many things she did to annoy you and bring about your actions and attitudes which caused her to leave. So keep that in mind. Sure it will hurt, but you will be better for it.

Live and learn.

DeadEyeDick · #5 08-15-2008, 07:54 PM

Paul:

I feel your pain. I really do. It wasn't just one thread that was closed/moved by the way. It was at least two. And I think there was a fair amount of patience with your situation.

Attempting to get your ex back is not a bad idea, it's just not an idea that we generally support on the Forum, because the purpose is to help guys meet and attract more women into their lives, not win back one special girl.

I think you might be better off seeking help elsewhere, or seeing a counselor to help you work through the difficulties in either getting past this, or working out a plan for the future.

Your ex doesn't sound ready to re-establish things with you, anyway, so you have time to sort out your own thoughts and feelings.

Good luck getting additional help.