Putting her under pressure

[Toby123]

Hey guys,
lately a problem between my gf and me evolved. She's always bitching at me for about everything. Even that I stand in her way and stuff.
If I call her out on her behaviour she starts naggin' even more and tells me that I put her under pressure by asking all these questions and telling her to behave differently.
Am I doin' something wrong ?

Toby

[ur2nice2me]

Wah... You really joined the community 2006?
She is shittesting you in your relationship if you are reallly the man she was attracted to in the very beginnning. (How is your sex life now with her?)
And you fall into her frame and you switch to pussy-analysis mode. Do not do this.
She is missing the dominant leader.
Game her. Keep your frame. Reframe her shit tests with C&F and then fuck her not the gentle lover but the caveman way to show her who the boss is.

[Toby123]

Hey,
Yea 2006 was the year =)
I do not think I was one of the early birds but however I startet to lear early
All right back to the topic.
The Sex is great! We both are loving it and are absolutely happy with each other. I called her out on things yesterday and today she's really trying not to do it...
What I did was not taking it anymore and raising my voice as she tried to insult me.
When she tried to hit me I grabbed her hair with a meaning and raised my voice.. that caused her to look at me with a shocked look on her face. At this point she seemed to have gotten the point.
I think you're right. She used to say when in bed that I shall be the man. and I guess that is what I used to be

[sampanye]

Originally Posted by Toby123

What I did was not taking it anymore and raising my voice as she tried to insult me.
When she tried to hit me I grabbed her hair with a meaning and raised my voice.. that caused her to look at me with a shocked look on her face. At this point she seemed to have gotten the point.

Woah, dude. That does not sound like a healthy relationship to me - at all.

[Toby123]

I do not know what to do actually.
Also she goes crazy whenever I talk to girls!
I have to admit, that I used to be a little grumpy too when she talked to a guy but I'm not anymore....
what shall I do ?
I would hate to end the relationship with her

[ur2nice2me]

Hmmm.... For some reason she flips into drama.
Drama in a relationship is sign that she feels the need to challenge you on your dominance and self confidence. Meke a selfcheck on your inner game.
Some say drama is also a subtile sign for the pure need for sex. But as said before Reframe with C&F and do your caveman thing.
Be careful with raising your voice. To me this is a first sign of loosing your frame and selfcontrol.

Concerning your jealousy.
Get your jealousy handled if you still feel it. As said in some other thread.
01. You don't own her
02. Something you don't own, you can't loose
03. Jealousy is the fear of loosing her
04. The fear of loosing her is a sign that you feel there may be someone better for her than you
05. Showing her signs of jealousy, signal her that you know there may be someone better for her than you... And then she will start looking who that may be.

Concerning her jealousy:
Talking to other girls in her presence is good to show you have choices.
But also show her clearly that she is your queen above all those as long as she treats you well.
For some High Self Esteem girls this is pretty rewarding emotion:
"He may have so many others, but he gets back and stays with me. I'm so much better than all these chicks here, and I will do my best for him to keep it that way."

Try to get her into that frame. It may be a problem if she is not High Self Esteem, but give it a try.

Keep us up to date...

[Toby123]

Hey ur2niche2me
Nice point you made!

Showing her signs of jealousy, signal her that you know there may be someone better for her than you... And then she will start looking who that may be.

That is pretty true!
I do have some issues regarding jealousy. It has become much better.
Also I have developed sort of my own theory that sais to better be nice and letting her come back to you by herself than forcing her emotionally to come and stay. In other words : being better than the other guys. BUT I have a problem setting these boudaries.
Letting her go is a good thing, no arguing about that, but if you let her go too much and give her too much freeedom she will probably use it!
If you know what I mean....

Regarding her self esteem... yea she has a very low self esteem which from my pov is the reason for her clingy behaviour and her fussing since she is afraid of loosing me. She keeps telling me she wants to mary me and so forth...

A problem I have is not with guys but with family!
I know that sounds crazy... I have a birthday coming up (of my mother) and my gf is invited... I'm feeling horrible thinking she could meet my family and interact!
I do not know what this is about but I guess there is a feeling way down in my that fears she might find my family more interesting than me or better: all my loved ones get along better with each other than with me and they sorta' exclude me! That, of course, is bullshit but I do not know how to cope with that emotion . I have not talked to her about that issue yet and probably never will.


so much for now and sorry for that hughe ammount of text


regards

Toby