Hey man, first of all, I think its great that your pushing yourself like this, I like your attitude of believing in yourself, and pushing yourself even when those daemons in our head try to talk us out change.
Grats on the kiss close, now, my opinion on this, and by the way, I'm not some mPUA. She found you very interesting, she just didn't want to fuck you the same night you guys kissed, was it possible had you done xyz correctly? most likely. You handled the last minute resistance okay up until the point you said okay coldly. The fact that she hesitated meant she was fighting with herself not to progress, because she wasn't comfortable, but she wanted to. I feel the best thing would have been to just make her feel comfortable, tell her that it pancakes would be nice, ect. Keep talking. The environment might have sucked, but you still might have hung out a bit longer, and felt closer to you.
You have good analysis skills from what I've read and after reading my reply I think you'll be able to decide for yourself on what I have written.
This women I met while traveling in India, constantly told me she did not do one night stands. I first thought she was lying but now that I've gotten to know her a little better, she was actually telling the truth, I was her second one night stand, her other relationships were her previous 6 boy friends lasting anywhere from 1 month to 2 years. HB 8. Now, I knew we bonded, I knew she liked me (as this one likes you), and she started telling me this because she believed me to be the kinda guy that did have them, she wanted to let me know that I wouldn't be able to do this to her. To her I'm sure it was just part of conversation, but she was motivated to say this subconsciously, almost as if by saying so if I did fuck her I'd be obligated to pursue a relationship (not saying thats completely what she meant subconsciously, but whatever), she probably didn't want to be a slut either, in India thats looked down upon even more. She was looking after herself, and I was fine with that, I'm not going to make her do something shes not comfortable with, I accepted the fact she wanted me, but didn't do anything about it because I understood her position (this is how I am, i feel bad trying if I believe they mean this). But over the course of the night, her kissing started becoming more intense, so I uped it too, a few hours later she suggested a hotel room. I simply told her no, without an explanation (I think this discomfort is due to my raising, and I'm not sure if I should change it, tell me if you think i should). A little while later, she suggested the hotel room again, and told me it was okay, and that she wanted this.
I feel this happened because I didn't push, nature just sorta did its thing, I just didn't make any mistakes (maybe). I believe you had her, she was into you, and it was on, and even if you didn't end up fucking her that night, just by developing comfort, she would want to see you again (make pancakes), and then a whole new day.  |