Please rate my phone interaction that I just had.

[Springer240]

I met this girl last night, and I was nervous as hell about calling her but I found my balls and was hoping to leave a voicemail but she ended up answering me.

She answers and I stagger through the beginning on commenting on her hair which is how we first started talking. Then, I just make up a partially true story by saying that my friend fell into a lake when we went golfing today and how funny it was.

She asks me what I'm doing, and I lie again saying I can't talk long (false time constraint) because I'm throwing a party for my friend who is leaving town tomorrow. Then, I awkwardly again start talking about this song I heard on the radio and I get her talking about her musical interests for a bit so I can feel her out and I tried to tease her.

She asks me if I worked, and I told her the reasons behind the reason I work where I do, and I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, but she ended it prematurely with her lack of answers, but I did tease her about a previous job.

At this point, I run out of canned material and I use natural game for awhile until the conversation goes dead for about 3 seconds where I tell her to "hang on." I then put the phone down and try to furiously think of what to say, and I told her I had to answer the door. After another couple second pause, I told her that I have to run and that I would talk to her later.

The conversation lasted 12:30. So, how did I do, and what can I do next time to improve?

[Enterpainment]

good thing you and not her ended the call...

[spyderone]

I liked the part you told her to hang on and you did the thinking and opening door thingy, its genius. On the other hand, I think 12 minutes on a first call is a little too much, maybe that's why you staggered...

[Springer240]

Enterpainment,
Could you explain yourself please?

spyderone,
Really? 12 minutes on the first call is too much? Should I call her again tonight?

[TrueStory]

Springer, don't call her again until couple days from now.

Don't over analyze this. A lot of new guys |||| shit up trying to analyze every single situation.

Sometimes conversations are just that. Stop thinking of "canned" material to go off. Just talk about whatever you want to talk about.

You don't ALWAYS have to DHV. In fact ,being able to tell stories about nothing is a lot better than sounding "try hard".

Feel comfortable talking to her.

So what your conversation lasts long? If you have time, and it's evening and you're not doing jack shit, spend 2-4 or whatever hours shooting shit over the phone.

As long as you keep conversation light, playful and avoid topics like her exes and your exes, religion. politics (those are not for newbs).

You can probably setup a day2 with her. Just call her briefly (or text her, i like texts)...when she's likely to pickup:, say "hey i can't talk long right now, let's get together Wednesday evening, I'd like to talk to you more.", tell her you're going shopping, and you need personal shopper assistant. Tell her it's a "unpaid internship with Springer240 Co. (user ur name), and it looks good on her life resume"

Joke about it. Do not frame it so much as date. It CAN potentially turn into a date while you're out on your day2. (Day2 =/= date)

Enjoy, report back.

P.S. my most succesful day2s went like this

Number close:

First phone conversation: ~almost up to 1hr long. (sometimes i text before)
Sparingly to intensive text messaging during the week....then I suddenly don't reply for day or two.

Then I call/text sunday evening and schedule Wed. day2.
Also, never schedule dates thursday-sunday.

[Springer240]

Originally Posted by TrueStory

Springer, don't call her again until couple days from now.

Don't over analyze this. A lot of new guys |||| shit up trying to analyze every single situation.

Sometimes conversations are just that. Stop thinking of "canned" material to go off. Just talk about whatever you want to talk about.

You don't ALWAYS have to DHV. In fact ,being able to tell stories about nothing is a lot better than sounding "try hard".

Feel comfortable talking to her.

So what your conversation lasts long? If you have time, and it's evening and you're not doing jack shit, spend 2-4 or whatever hours shooting shit over the phone.

As long as you keep conversation light, playful and avoid topics like her exes and your exes, religion. politics (those are not for newbs).

You can probably setup a day2 with her. Just call her briefly (or text her, i like texts)...when she's likely to pickup:, say "hey i can't talk long right now, let's get together Wednesday evening, I'd like to talk to you more.", tell her you're going shopping, and you need personal shopper assistant. Tell her it's a "unpaid internship with Springer240 Co. (user ur name), and it looks good on her life resume"

Joke about it. Do not frame it so much as date. It CAN potentially turn into a date while you're out on your day2. (Day2 =/= date)

Enjoy, report back.

P.S. my most succesful day2s went like this

Number close:

First phone conversation: ~almost up to 1hr long. (sometimes i text before)
Sparingly to intensive text messaging during the week....then I suddenly don't reply for day or two.

Then I call/text sunday evening and schedule Wed. day2.
Also, never schedule dates thursday-sunday.

Truestory,
It's hard for me to talk about whatever I want to talk about. 2-4 hours over the phone? I did about 90% of the talking and I couldn't have talked for 12 seconds without writing down what I was going to talk about.

So if I call her back whenever and setup something for Monday, do I call her more just for a few minutes a new day? It's hard as hell to get her to talk on the phone, so maybe one more call is sufficient?

[TrueStory]

The reason you are lost for words and topics is because you rely on routines too much. Routines are good, but use them sparingly.

Another thing is, after about 15 minutes into conversation, both of you would usually warm up. The first 10-20 min is the most difficult because both of you are too shy or too affraid of saying wrong thing.

Trust me, push through initial "awkwardness" and conversation will flow as easy as it flows between you and your buddies.

Plus don't put soo much stress into outcome. That usually helps me ....to relax and not worry whether she likes me or not.

[Springer240]

Originally Posted by TrueStory

The reason you are lost for words and topics is because you rely on routines too much. Routines are good, but use them sparingly.

Another thing is, after about 15 minutes into conversation, both of you would usually warm up. The first 10-20 min is the most difficult because both of you are too shy or too affraid of saying wrong thing.

Trust me, push through initial "awkwardness" and conversation will flow as easy as it flows between you and your buddies.

Plus don't put soo much stress into outcome. That usually helps me ....to relax and not worry whether she likes me or not.

Alright, I am not a particularly talkative animal. She was barely helping the talking situation and I can only talk well when people are really helping out the conversation. I tried to push through the awkwardness but I ran out of steam before I could break through. When we were talking in person everything was very natural.

Lastly, isn't asking her to grab a coffee with me a pretty big hoop that she might not comply with? How can I get around that?

O, and Truestory, every bone in my body told me to call her tonight but I did not because you told me not to and you have more game than I do. I need to get in the mind frame of not caring if I lose her and learn to be really talkative. Does a little rum help?

[spyderone]

Springer, if I can give you 1 advice, is that you listen to TrueStory. He's written one of the best posts on this forum. Plus I totally concur with just going with the flow and avoiding routines all the time...
But still, I think talking for long on the first call is a little too much. But that's just me

[Springer240]

Was 12 and a half minutes too much for a first call or not enough? How long could I plan for the second call tomorrow?