Couldn't K-close with girl cuz of ASD defense "but I'm 10 years older than you!" - The Attraction Forums

Master_sargent · #1 07-06-2008, 12:12 AM

So I was at this bar with my friend sitting at a table and being pissed off cuz my phone was stolen just half an hour before and this HB 8 (29 years old) walks up to me and says "Excuse me, are you korean?". To which I replied "no, I'm not. I'm [asian]" and then we talk for a bit and then she's like "well okay I'm off then" and she starts talking to this dude on the sidewalk.

My friend then goes "d00d. Go talk to her". So I go up to her and the manager and described the suspect who stole my phone etc... and she and I start talking and turns out the manager had lived in my country before. She then kinda freaks out that I'm 19... but then invites me to walk her home cuz she lives a block away. So I agreed and told my friend to wait.

we get to her apartment and we're sitting on her bed and we start talking. I tried the kiss triangle, "Would you like to kiss me?" and she refused... her ASD was like "I feel so guilty about this... I mean... I'm really attracted to you but you're 19... [banter about sex etc...]. I would've been okay if you were 20."

So we kinda just lay there holding hands and talking for an hour and a half. Built alot of comfort but she refused to even kiss me. She did keep going on about how amazed I was that I was only 19 and felt I was so much wiser than anybody she'd met etc... cuz I'd traveled and lived in so many different countries and speak so many languages etc...

When I left her apartment was when we introduced ourselves to eachother. She wanted to exchange numbers but I didn't have my cellphone cuz it was stolen so I ended up just giving her my facebook detail. She took mine, and I kinda gave up on trying to write her name... I couldn't even pronounce it.

Yeah that was crap. But I'm hoping to correct future occurrences of this so I could use some advice on how to take care of that.

theagx · #2 07-07-2008, 01:43 PM

You could have taken her number on paper and called it from any phone (house phone, etc).

The fact that you went back to her place is promising! The no kclose seems to me (3 weeks in "the game", noobie) more about your age and her morals than you not building enough attraction and stuff.

Someone can correct me though.

iWitness · #3 07-07-2008, 03:05 PM

sounds like he built more than enough comfort. Caveman sir. You should have framed yourself as non-judgemental and her as Sexually adventurous -my goto frames btw- early on and then just kissed her, no asking permission.

Boom!~
-iWitness

Master_sargent · #4 07-07-2008, 03:59 PM

Got a Facebook close. Moving to 2nd date. Exchanged numbers. She actually showed alot of IOI's. We talked on facebook and she asked me to meet up for lunch so I'm meeting up with her in 2 days for lunch cuz she works near my place.

we talked online and she was like "okay it's a date then. bring your smile" <<< obvious IOI.

So I think I'm pretty in.

Looking to F-close but whatever. I've realized I've just stopped consciously thinking about game so I think i could probably just wing this on autopilot... but we shall see.

Eyecontact · #5 07-07-2008, 04:05 PM

Great! You get a second chance.

This time don't let her get into "logical" mode.

Master_sargent · #6 07-07-2008, 09:25 PM

Yeah sounds good... however this is a day-date...

She was throwing ridiculous IOI's was like "you're funny. We should meet again."
I was also able to throw in a jealousy plotline cuz she asked me why Id idn't tell her I was married (I have a facebook wife, she's a friend who I use for this sole purpose). I told her it was a joke between me and her etc...

the k-close is the goal, I know... and at her age she doesn't |||| around so I actually have to go for it sometime during the lunch I guess.

Oxygen69 · #7 07-16-2008, 10:37 PM

her saying that means that she's attracted to you. how much comfort do you have build wit her? You could have replied when she said that "take a minute to get over this age thing".

Disco Man · #8 07-29-2008, 05:59 AM

Rule number one with the age difference: NEVER REVEAL YOUR AGE TO AN OLDER WOMAN UNTIL THEY'RE OFFICIALLY YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!!

Im serious, man. I come across this problem 50 zillion times in the past. As soon as I reveal my real age to an older woman, they immediately lost interest in me. Even if they're just 1 yr older. These days, I dont even tell my age unless Im certain that the girl is definitely younger than me. They can guess whatever age they want with me, I shut up and dont reveal my age. Now, heres a little trick they like to use. They would ask stuff like "so how long you moved here from oversea?" then you say stuff like 10 years. The usual second question "how old were you when you moved here?" natural response to that would be 9 years old. "oh! so you are only 19! you are too young for ME!" HA! What a devious way to figure out you being lot younger and they reject you straight out.

krytek · #9 07-30-2008, 01:21 PM

I find asking premission to kiss is a turn off for the girl, and a bit AFC actually.
do the triangle and move in or tease, probably she does something to prevent this (this always happens to me) and then you back away for a few minutes and try again,
this time it works 99%.

Lieutenant Joker · #10 07-30-2008, 01:43 PM

I would definitely say be careful with lying. Lie about things that can't be proven false. Avoid anything you don't want to answer.

I've been stumped with similar situations. You just have to vibe it off. I'm 21, but apparrently I look young, so when I hit bars in the states, the fact that I get in pretty much puts me in the lowest possible bracket, but when girls ask now, I make them guess, or I'll change the topic, like this:

HB-"So, how old are you anyway?"
Me-"You know, its a double-standard. A guy isn't supposed to ask a girl's age, but a girl can ask a guy and think she can get away with it."

Or say something funny, funny works usually. Or just wholesale ignore it. I think IOD'ing her would be the best route at this point. It is the whole "punishing bad behavior" module.