''I'm not worried about him'' Mr.bigshot says....

[GreatOne]

So, here is whats going on. Me,my gf (H), and her best friend (E) are going on a vacation together. Then E tells her bf (Z)'' hey greatone will be going with us on the vacation'' she told him so he doesn't hear it by surprise, as if she needs permission too. He says '' thats alright I am not worried about him ''... fast forward a couple days, E was on the phone with my gf, she told her that Z said he isn't ''worried'' about me going with them... my gf asked ''whats that supposed to mean?'' Z then snatches the phone from E ,my gf then repeats the question to him and he just breaks out laughing. So my gf starts going in defense saying things like ''what you think my bf is ugly? He looks 100 times better than you'' and '' why would greatone even try anything on E and I'll be right there with him ?'' So Z says something along the lines of '' well I know E would never cheat on me and greatone isn't all that attractive anyway'' and so my gf just keeps snapping on him defending me and he just keeps laughing.

Ok, so let me explain a couple things so you can put all the pieces together. Me and Z have no relationship whatsoever, I just know who he is and he know me as well since I was 12yo, before we even started to date these 2 best friends. This guy is about 4yrs older than me. Now my gf H hates his guts because he is so conceited, treats E with no respect, always bitching her around(never abuse),has E on a leash, and basically this guy acts like his shit don't stink, a serious ego. Plus my gf would hang out with E and Z often, when me and H would be broken up she would fall back on them to hang with.

Now I'm sitting wondering where does this chump have the nerve to talk like that about me to my gf? How would you handle this ?

[ChoriChori]

Take it as a comlpiment. The fact that he said that, says alot imo.

Stay alpha, be friendly.

[GreatOne]

In what angle are you coming from in that it was a compliment?

Ofcourse I just brush that off, my gf pretty much set him straight and if I go and do/say something about him it'll put me in lower value, right? But this is the very first time for some spark between us to occur. So, I really want some kind of message to get across to him, to say ''I know whats up, but I wont swoop down to your level ''. How all this went down with me not knowing anything til my gf spoke of it is really pissing me off. This guy is speaking ill of me behind my back.

I was thinking of it, and when we're at the airport I'm 90% sure that his gf will call him. I'll grab her phone to say a couple of nice words....hi how u doing...long time no talk....have a safe trip etc....Then I'll say something like '' and don't worry about E , we'll make sure she is safe sound and partys hard, u got my word'' So that comes off as friendly but it'll have the ||||er worried the whole time. As long as he can read between the lines.

It's obvious this guy is so full on insecurity by the way he treats his gf.

[kink]

Why does it matter?

You don't hang out with this guy, you don't care about him, why are you letting what he's saying get under your skin? He has no value to you. If you keep it bottled up inside, it will manifest itself in other ways through your life (read: your relationship with your gf, as she will keep bitching it out with him/his gf, and will strain everyones relationship).

Or, are you insecure in the fact that you want him to be worried about you and your 'game'?

If you start talking shit back, trying to "send messages", it will escalate and crapshoot everything. The biggest thing you can do is nothing, and then he will be genuinely upset.

[GreatOne]

Originally Posted by kink

Why does it matter?

You don't hang out with this guy, you don't care about him, why are you letting what he's saying get under your skin? He has no value to you. If you keep it bottled up inside, it will manifest itself in other ways through your life (read: your relationship with your gf, as she will keep bitching it out with him/his gf, and will strain everyones relationship).

Or, are you insecure in the fact that you want him to be worried about you and your 'game'?

If you start talking shit back, trying to "send messages", it will escalate and crapshoot everything. The biggest thing you can do is nothing, and then he will be genuinely upset.

I don't know why, but it got to me for a minute. I see what your saying, the best thing to do is nothing for too many good reasons. Appreciate it brother!

[retired_young]

The guy is insecure.

Just go about being a real man, and great boyfriend, to your girl. Don't be whipped, but do something thoughtful periodically. And do be the leader...find concerts, make plans.

That's when the other guy will need to be worried, because his girlfriend will see how you are confident to treat her right. And girls TALK about this stuff. They always compare notes.

[ChoriChori]

Originally Posted by GreatOne

In what angle are you coming from in that it was a compliment?

Why would he try to "out-alpha" you by saying that? He is in fact worried, and you should know it instantly.

This is the kind of thing girls spend their time analyzing, you're a man. I'm surprised by your reaction, the way I see it, he gave you a compliment and you're being a bitch about it.

[GreatOne]

I appreciate your help chori but saying I'm being a bitch about it was well .......unnecessary. But your point didn't go in vain, I got you. My whole question was to understand how you concluded that it was a compliment. I was hoping you'd explain that. To be alpha you got think like alpha,right? But thats a whole other topic. Anyway thanks again

[GreatOne]

Chori, again I agree with you that this whole bit is how females act/react. Proof being my gf's part in all this. So, yeah I'll go about and rock out with my |||| out like a man is supposed to.