Do guys have LMR too? - The Attraction Forums

mtnhwk2012 · #1 07-03-2008, 01:29 PM

I dont wanna sound like a pussy but i got a feeling im not alone here...
sometimes for whatever reason, whether im not feeling aroused enough or im just not into the girl im getting heavy with I start panicking and looking for a way out. sometiems ill actually jsut lose wood all together. It kinda sucks and I feel like the problem is in my head and Im not allowing myself to get turned on.

its like i psyche myself out. is this natural sometimes? how can i fix this?

BigDuke6 · #2 07-03-2008, 02:44 PM

im just not into the girl

There you go. That's your reason. And a valid reason at that.

young dubs · #3 07-03-2008, 03:07 PM

you could be nervous about something, get anxiety, lack of confidence... all are nothin to be embarassed about but there are ways to plow thru it.

it could simply just be, you don't want to... and if you don't then don't... have standards, females like that anyway, ya dig ;-)

Eyecontact · #4 07-03-2008, 04:15 PM

You are experiencing "performance anxiety" - fear of failure.

Being physically and emotionally exposed to someone you don't no that well can be scary especially when you are not used to it.

Relax, take your time, get to know her, get comfortable, have fun!!

Resist the pressure to perform (as in get an erection and come) and just enjoy yourself and her. Extend the foreplay, this can go on for hours

Oh, and get lots of practice!

miaddict · #5 07-03-2008, 06:44 PM

The only possible scenarios I would get "LMR" is if
-the chick turns out to have a penis
-we get caught by the police/third parties/parents
-the chick's genitals are covered with warts or smell like rotten cheese.

Be in the moment. Love making is a shared experience. Leave your insecurities behind because when you are naked, there is nothing to hide.

mtnhwk2012 · #6 07-04-2008, 11:19 AM

yeah ive tried all of those things.. being in the moment w/e... idk i guess its just performance anxiety. is there anything i could do to prepare/eliminate anxiety and help my confidence level

Eyecontact · #7 07-04-2008, 03:42 PM

Are you talking about random drunk hook-ups or a girl you see regularly?

Are you confident generally?

Are you comfortable with girls generally?

Often these things are just a symptom of a bigger problem... thats why I ask.

The way to deal with performance anxiety is to -

1. don't avoid the situation
2. don't try and hide/ cover up what you are feeling, in fact being open and talking about it will help you relax
3. regularly place yourself in that situation so that you get used to it
4. manage the situation so that you are not too stressed but constantly pushing the boundaries.

So in your case, extended make out sessions in a setting where you can't actually have sex may help. When you are comfortable with this, try a situation where you could have sex but maybe have agreed not too. Then a situation where you could have sex but don't have too. And so on.

Oh, and stop worrying about what she might be thinking

Hope this helps!

young dubs · #8 07-04-2008, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtnhwk2012

yeah ive tried all of those things.. being in the moment w/e... idk i guess its just performance anxiety. is there anything i could do to prepare/eliminate anxiety and help my confidence level

best way to get over any kind of anxiety is to just do it, and act like the outcome doesn't matter, cause it doesn't...have confidence, and evaluate yourself, see which way you think you can get over your anxiety, whether its just to go and |||| a bunch of girls, or learn some kind of techniques to give you confidence, or just get drunk and do it till you realize the outcomes don't matter...find a way that fits you and it'll be easier and quicker

mtnhwk2012 · #9 07-05-2008, 06:28 PM

Thanks guys!

yeah... i got a recent LTR whose a virgin so i think im in a good situation to conquer this... unfortunately she lives far away so i cant always be getting with her

but drunk hook-ups are what ive been having lately..

and i am 100% comfortable around girls i love girls
my confidence prob could be better but i think im okay. im just kinda small and most of my friends are big alpha male guys so its like ive been conditioned to be "beta".

also i find that extended foreplay eventually gets boring and any erection i had will probably get lost after a half hour of kissing and touching while fully clothed.. unfurtunately its when were getting hot and heavy that ill lose wood as well... idk its weird