girl that cant orgasm

[Buffalo Al]

how the hell do a get a girl who's never orgasmed before to finally get off?!?

so i've been seeing the girl, who's a super "good girl" type, has only been with like 2 guys, doesnt masterbate, hates porn ( ), etc.
so she doesnt want to have sex for a while , which i respect. i noticed after fingering her twice that she didnt have an orgasm, which is really surprising for me, cause my fingering is something i have always been told i was exceptional at, causing girls to have their strongest orgasms ever. i tried again, and after a lot of effort, i asked if she got off (i consider it a failure if she did), she said no, but that she never has had an orgasm. my guess is the lack of masterbating and disgust of porn may have cause her to not know how to reach that point.
i've tried everything i know how to do with fingering and eatingout, and i swear i've gotten her pretty damn close judging by the way i got her moaning and writhing, but my understanding of the female orgasm is that it takes a lot of mentally getting herself into the right place to get off, which i cant do for her. is there a why to guide her to where she has to be mentally? or is it a losing battle and she's just never going to get the Big O?

thanks!

[The One Self]

Its a "relaxing" thing with her.

I would start with a hot bath and a back massage candles etc...

A qoute I always say is -
sexually-

"Men need to have an orgasm to relax
while
women need to relax to have an orgasm"

[Buffalo Al]

thanks man, thats a fantastic quote.
i think that relaxing could really help. she's already mentioned that she doesnt feel like she "thinks as much" when she's with me, which she thought had always been one of her problems before, so maybe i just need to continue the relaxation further. i'll try to get some massaging and such to get her in a relaxed state. let me know if you have any other tips. maybe NLP would help here to relax here?

thanks again!

[The One Self]

Do this....

If this doesnt work I dont know what can possibly help you.

Start with a warm bath or shower and then a back massage gently, use a body cream or lotion. after you have done these two things start touching her with a "taking touch" (that means touch her like it pleases you, like the same way you would touch silk or something delicate) continue touching her this way making tiny circles. start at her shoulder and touch every part of her body EXCEPT HER NIPPLES OR VAGINA. you can touch her breasts but DO NOT touch her nipples. touch her thigh and around her pussy but do not touch her pussy. It is also very important that no other part of your body is touching her while you do it, and do not allow her to touch herself or touch you while you do it either. It builds up the most ridiculous desire for her to be touched in the spots you are neglecting IE her vagina and nipples. After you have gently made small circles around her whole body, tehn you can start with the vagina. First start by softly tracing the outside lips. DO this alot just tracing around the outside, then move to tracing the inner lips. after you ahve done this for awhile she should be thrusting her shit in the air begging for you to stick afinger in her, by that time your ready now and work you rmagic. DO NOT JUST START going crazy one you put a finger inside her, go slow, take your time, and keep up with the same pace you have been drawing circles and tracing her body with. Keep PACE. Do not turn into a little horny toad just cuz your touching the pussy now.
I have had many, many, many women tell me this was the absolute best experience they have ever had being fingered. Hope it helps.

[Buffalo Al]

sounds like a great plan of attack, i love nice easy step by step instructions.
including oils/lotions and a shower means it's going to take some planning, and a night when i have the place to myself... definitely going to make it happen though! thanks

[sampanye]

The advice so far sounds fantastic. One thing I'll add is that she may believe she can't have an orgasm, which is unfortunately a self-fulfilling prophecy. You have to get her in the mindset that anything is possible, which starts with adopting this attitude yourself. It's not a 'losing battle'. After all, you're having fun doing it, she's obviously enjoying herself... take the pressure off and just go with the flow.

[FlyTrap]

I recently started sleeping with a girl that thought she could never have an orgasm while being eaten out and obviously I got past that. Once she got the first one (and it was a LOT of work) pandora's box opened up and she started being VERY easy to get off. As a matter of fact she has multiples now and through a new technique I learned squirts and has insane full body orgasms.

That being said, I do believe that once you get her to cum once it will be much MUCH easier to make her cum. You have to get her there first. Massaging out any tense spots first is important. She has to be relaxed and even though she says she is, and may even FEEL relaxed, she CANT be relaxed with tense spots in her muscles. Not totally. Candles, incense, music, all good shit.

There is one thing that I disagree slightly with posted by The One Self. When massaging the girl don't TOTALLY avoid the hot spots. but dont spend much time on them and dont go for them until 3/4 through the massage. Touching her there in those places briefly will make her orgamsatron start to jump and quiver. Like rubbing your hands over her whole breast with your whole hand. YOu cant avoid the nipple. but dont stop and play with the nipple either. Like rub your hand over her outer labia with a little bit of pressure once she is getting into it, but not spreading the lips and touching her clit at all. Just briefly putting some pressure on it and going back to it later.

It takes me about 3-4 massage sessions to get someone totally relaxed with no tension spots anywhere on her.


If you see that she is holding her breath remind her to breathe. If she locks in her air, she is tensing up. she has to breathe deeply and let it wash over her. Make sure that you build it up, unlike very orgasmic girls that you can just snap one out in a couple minutes.

I go through a similar but different type of thing when "training" my FB's. Most of them are used to getting down with chodes and are not used to cumming so many different ways. A lot of them dont cum during intercourse until after they are trained. Some of them can cum with oral and some cant.

Most of them dont have multiples.
Most of them dont squirt.

"training" a FB is fun and they love it - and you in return. (not romantic love, but love you for opening up their sexual and orgasmic horizons. It takes about 3-4 weeks of massage and work to get them to squirt, but once they do OMFG they cum so hard that they are not ready for it and they writhe uncontrollably on the bed squirting and cumming over and over even if you stop fingering them. Its ||||ing AMAZING.

What you are experiencing is definately not original or only happening with this girl. Get her past this and she will be ready for intercourse pretty quickly. Once a girl has an orgasm with you she changes mentally and is much more attatched to you emotionally.

This is a good thing.

[Buffalo Al]

i've got the place to myself the 4th of july weekend. thanks to the advice you guys gave, i think i'm gonna spend a night pampering her with some wine by the fire pit out back, a bubble bath, candles, a massage, and then some slow sensual foreplay. hopefully it'll all work and get her over the wall to O-town, haha.

thanks guys!

[Vapor]

Some girls, especially younger girls, just don't have them early in their sexual experience. As Flytrap said, some girls have them more easily after they've had them once, but I've dated girls with the exact opposite problem, too. Had them the first night, then couldn't.

Focus on communicating well and enjoying each other, and take all pressure off of orgasms. "It'll happen sooner or later, there's no rush," is a fine perspective. She will be sensitive to what you think about her not having them, and anything related to disappointment or pressure will be counterproductive.

I'm talking in this case about the OP. Other guys who find lots of girls aren't having them may have issues with technique.

[Vapor]

Some girls, especially younger girls, just don't have them early in their sexual experience. As Flytrap said, some girls have them more easily after they've had them once, but I've dated girls with the exact opposite problem, too. Had them the first night, then it was much harder.

Focus on communicating well and enjoying each other, and take all pressure off of orgasms. "It'll happen sooner or later, there's no rush," is a fine perspective. She will be sensitive to what you think about her not having them, and anything related to disappointment or pressure will be counterproductive.

I'm talking in this case about the OP. Other guys who find lots of girls aren't having them may have issues with technique.