Can someone analyze this situation and say where the problem is.

[BornAssassin]

Aside from losing attraction from unwillingness to escalate to kissing.. I don't think that is a biggy, where did it go wrong.. there are so many variables.

-got attraction
-went on one date
-didn't k-close but kino escalated
-never had a bf before
-confused one night and called asking if we're officially going out
-i said, "normally, i wouldn't think we are.. but there's something about you.. i duno what it is.. i'll make one exception.. we're going out officially"
-next day party with friends, i didn't k-close when i left with her alone!
-mentions how she is confused about us.. is there even an us?
-graduated from high school, leaving for university, she is 1 gr lower than me
-talked on msn i said i wanted to talk to her and said "call me later :P"
-she makes up excuse "I'm tired" and rejects


What just happened?


thanks =P

Edit: in my last post..

[Mation]

Ummm.... you didn't go for the k-close?

[ooranos]

Lulz this needs to be moved to newbie forum

You don't NEED to kiss close on the first date, but understand that you're really really falling into a relationship frame if you don't.

"confused one night and called asking if we're officially going out"
Did you call or did she call? Either way it's WAY too premature for this discussion.

"-i said, "normally, i wouldn't think we are.. but there's something about you.. i duno what it is.. i'll make one exception.. we're going out officially""
Chode move. This seems like it's coming from a place of reaction and scarcity. It also seems like it wasn't your conscious choice, and you kind of just went with it, which is not good for so many reasons. Even if it was your choice, it was done way too early.

"-next day party with friends, i didn't k-close when i left with her alone!"
Reach down between your legs. Do you feel your balls? Good. Then it means your still a man. You needed to escalate. You didn't. You look like a pussy.

"-mentions how she is confused about us.. is there even an us?"
Re-affirms my assumption about you not making it a conscious choice of you dating her. Chodey behavior.

"-talked on msn i said i wanted to talk to her and said "call me later :P"
-she makes up excuse "I'm tired" and rejects


What just happened?"

She probably realized that you are (acting like) a chode.

Look man, I'm not trying to diss you or whatever. Tough love. You need to hear this shit. You are exhibiting chodely behavior. But you are not your behaviors. You are you. You can change your behaviors. So don't be a chode.

Good luck.

You may be able to put some space in between you and her, re-engage later, and re-frame (with you as an alpha male worthy of being chased, the prize). It depends on each of you guys' sense of mutual investment with eachother. Or the set may be blown. Can't really say from the information given.

Hope this helps.

[DanJer]

1st question. You are 18? And she is 17? Is that legal where you are?

2nd question. Why didn't you kiss her?
I don't even want you to answer that. Just think about it. Realize that the only excuse for not kissing her, and you had a good chance to, is that you were afraid. Don't be.

[BornAssassin]

lol yes.. 14 is legal for sex if that's what you mean.. alcohol then no, it's 19.

[Mation]

Originally Posted by DanJer

1st question. You are 18? And she is 17? Is that legal where you are?

That's legal pretty much all over the U.S. Even in states where the age of consent is 18, they give you a 2 year leeway. So if you're 19 and she's 17, it's cool. In Arkansas, the age of consent is 16, as long as the older party isn't in a position of authority (teacher, cop, etc.) When both the guy and the girl are still in high school, there's even more give there.

[BornAssassin]

lol yes.. 14 is legal for sex if that's what you mean.. alcohol then no, it's 19.

and btw.. it's canada here.. i just put carolina US to hide my identity. Yeah consent is 14 here =P

i think i know what to do now, a few pua friends told me that she feels rejected.. since i said I'm a boyfriend and didn't act like one.

what I will do is.. ask direct questions..

"hey we have to talk.. do you want to be my girlfriend? yes or no?"

"are you ready for us to act like bf gf?"

then if yes.. it clarifies everything, dismissing my earlier wuss behaviour of not escalating.. by means of making her feel like i didn't know where we stood until this question. If she says yes.. i will escalate to kiss and it should be normal again.

comments suggestions?

[DanJer]

Stop talking about your relationship status and act it.

Act like her BF if thats what you want to be. Hold her hand, kiss her, grope her, etc.

[Subway Eat Fresh]

since i said I'm a boyfriend

After one date?

P.S. When you said "officially," did you sign the contract as required by article 14 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms?