You guys are the sh*t...for real, without letting you all know what's going on and hearing your input, this would be way worse.
Going to her blog is torture...I do see I have to stay away. I mean, we used to go to this tango class together...she might have hinted she danced after...if I read shit like that it will tear me up.
Thinking about it a bit more, there are some things I should bring up.
1. I did feel, though, that it might at least jolt her if I say "Good luck in the interview and with the rest of your life...I'll miss you"...b/c, my last communique with her left it open to her that she can get back with me. I need to give her the official jolt - it is over.
2. One thing that makes it rough, is when I look at it I'm like - I don't understand why she made the decision. I mean, last time we did talk she was like - "Yeah, when we are together it's amazing". We did have an amazing time together. Things would happen that rolled off my back. Apparently, she'd get real upset about them for a long time. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I flirted in front of her; denied it after, and then admitted later that yes I did flirt. It wasn't major stuff...(it was literally 2 sentences...to her it was a big deal). She gets very jealous too easily, not just from that...even though she's an hb9.5.
I think sex had something to do with it too....she was inexperienced at technique and felt bad about it... She also told me that she wanted me to ask her what things she likes in bed. I told her we would, but we are broken up so I never did get to ask.
Thing is, I thought her attraction for me was so strong that these things could be overcome. I thought I sort of owned this girl. I mean, I'd been feeling ||||y. And, I thought if she ever did this it was for effect, not really to carry it out...so, when I talked her into getting back together I thought I was taking a step she always hoped I would.
But, if she really was/is into me...she'll come back by my NOT doing anything...not by doing something.
In retrospect too, maybe I didn't seem busy enough...I'm not involved with anyone else, but I tried to hint that I have options. Yet, maybe my schedule was too available for her to do stuff.
I do go to this tango class with her. I don't know how I'm gonna go and see her there though. It will be too hard to 'look alpha'...and, if I can' t manage that and look all sad when I see her, I think there's no shot.
I was thinking of making a
jealousy plotline...have a girl she doesn't know be flirtatious with me...a girl I'd bring that she doesn't know I know.
Anyway, that's all secondary, maybe something I should not even get into, cause if I do I'm still leaving something to hang on to. Main thing is moving on...more
inner game...new women. When I start having success again, improving inner/outer game that's going to be the medicine I need.
Peace
I.P.
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