LBFJ'd? Get out of the Friend Zone 101

[skystream92]

Originally Posted by Pimp2Mack

Now, by doing this, is there a good chance that she may think I'm mad at her for any issue and in turn not want to talk to me after the 2-3 weeks that I didn't return her calls?

Also, would the same type of reply be used in answering texts? Or should texts just go ignored?

This is an inner game thing. If she asks if something is wrong, say everything is fine. If you act like it is, she will interpret it as it is.

Answering texts is ok. Texts can be answered when you are busy..whereas phone calls eat up alot of time.

[Pimp2Mack]

Originally Posted by _Cane_

Proper Kino Escalation In A LJBF Situation

Initial Kino should be punches in the arm, butt bumps, and lame gay shit like that cuz it is non-threatening. Speaking of your kino task. You should escalate in this order:

1) nudging/arm punching/butt bumps when joking with each other

2) Sitting closer together (if your on a couch, see if she lets you lay your head in her lap as if you were tired and falling asleep, lay your head on her lap with your back to her -- its less threatening)

3) Put your arm around her neck while your walking&talking. Do this only for like 10-15 seconds or so, MAX, then release her. Keep doing this every so often until she responds by wrapping her arms around your waist. Until she wraps around your waist, do not move foward to the next kino step.

4) When your walking with your arms around each other each other (above), let go and grab her hand. Then walk while holding hands for a minute or two and then let go.

Act like this is all happenning naturally. It is important that you release her before she has the option to push you away.

5) If you got away with holding hands, you can get away with kissing her. Don't kiss her the first time you hold hands.

6) To kiss her: Wait until the 2nd time you hold hands (while walking&talking) and when you stop walking, so will she. Turn your shoulders towards her to face her slowly and closely. Lean in and kiss her. Don't lean in too much tho.

These 6 kino steps should be a slow process that may take place over a few different days with her. Seperate each kino step by atleast 1-2 hours. Calibration is very important. If you go to much too fast? You blew it.

Now, in terms of spacing out each step of this process out by 1-2 hours...say you're not with the girl for more than 2 or 3 hours one time but you get to step #2 and she let's you put your head on her lap. Is it safe to proceed to step #3 right away during the next time you see her, or should the entire process start over every time until you actually kiss her? I'm just thinking of how long you would have to actually spend with her each time in order to get every spet accomplished with ample time between steps, so you're not moving too fast and screw everything up.

Thanks in advance for the help!

[_Cane_]

Originally Posted by Pimp2Mack

Now, in terms of spacing out each step of this process out by 1-2 hours...say you're not with the girl for more than 2 or 3 hours one time but you get to step #2 and she let's you put your head on her lap. Is it safe to proceed to step #3 right away during the next time you see her, or should the entire process start over every time until you actually kiss her? I'm just thinking of how long you would have to actually spend with her each time in order to get every spet accomplished with ample time between steps, so you're not moving too fast and screw everything up.

Thanks in advance for the help!

Calibrate. It depends on the situation really. If she has had a crush on you forever, but you just never advanced, then likely you can get away with more and faster. If your game has gotten really really good since you last tried to establish something with her, then likely you can get away with going faster too. Looking back, I don't think I should have put that into the original post. Because once you are holding hands with her or kissing, or something that is an obvious advance on a non-friendship type relationship, then normal kino escalation is best from there until you full close.


The longer you've known her without having any obvious signs of attraction or chemistry, the slower the process should be. Either way, once you get a hand hold, assume its on.

[Pimp2Mack]

Originally Posted by _Cane_

Calibrate. It depends on the situation really. If she has had a crush on you forever, but you just never advanced, then likely you can get away with more and faster. If your game has gotten really really good since you last tried to establish something with her, then likely you can get away with going faster too. Looking back, I don't think I should have put that into the original post. Because once you are holding hands with her or kissing, or something that is an obvious advance on a non-friendship type relationship, then normal kino escalation is best from there until you full close.


The longer you've known her without having any obvious signs of attraction or chemistry, the slower the process should be. Either way, once you get a hand hold, assume its on.

Lol, I guess it would probably have been best to describe my situation first...

I've known her for about a month and a half now, we've hung out 5 or 6 times. She was dating a guy for 7 years previous to me and engaged to him up until about 5 months ago then the guy broke off the engagement. It gets to the point with her now that every time we start kissing, she always says that we have to talk and then proceeds to tell me that she has some stuff to deal with and we should remain just friends. She obviously likes me, but I just need to figure out a way to get her thinking differently when we're together where she can just let things go and not have any LMR.

Any thoughts?

[Pimp2Mack]

When the 2-3 week "break" is over, should I reinitiate talks and just say that we should catch up? Or should I wait until she initiates again and then make plans?

[Buffalo Al]

Originally Posted by Pimp2Mack

When the 2-3 week "break" is over, should I reinitiate talks and just say that we should catch up? Or should I wait until she initiates again and then make plans?

if she's not trying to reinitiate contact after you blew her off for a while, you're probably shit out of luck cause she isnt that interested in you even as a friend, but you could always call/text her back saying you're finally returning her call. in my experience, she'll probably be the one to point out that you havent seen each other in a while, then you try to catch up.





fantastic thread guys!

i'm going to try this with a girl that blew me back in february and then LJBF'ed me cause i acted a little to AFC and was answering her calls like ever other day. i havent seen her in over a month, and i only respond to texts, so i think i'm good to reset the tone of the relationship when i see her again tomorrow night. wish me luck

[NickW]

Ok, first time posting here, though I've lurked and read up for a few months now. ANYWAYS...trying this process out, I want to test it's effectiveness for myself. So it's been nearly a month since I've talked to this certain girl and thus far she's left a myspace comment about wanting to hang out and sent a text message earlier today saying "Miss you!" I haven't responded to this text message yet, as I'm not sure what to respond with according to this thread (and I don't even know how much worth my response has in this situation, so I may be over-complicating/thinking it). So..any tips would be greatly appreciated!

[Buffalo Al]

hey, i tried some of this stuff on the chick i mentioned above. worked out well (meaning we made out in and against my car), but not perfectly, she wasnt quite hooked. this probably has more to do with my shortcomings in skills and calibration rather than a failure of the technique.
it was pretty apparent that she was trying to break state as we were driving back, cause she kept asking me questions about why i had kinda been ignoring her for a while and then saying she was hurt by something i said, blah blah blah. i got defensive, which was a big no-no, and responded poorly to some of the shit testing she was using. if others run into this kind of shit testing, i recommend answering as you would politely respond to a girl who you genuinely arent interested in (i.e. "i've just been really busy with work and school and shit..." or "sorry, i just got wrapped up in all this stuff, and you know how time can fly..."), and then change the subject to the cool stuff you've been so busy with. what ever you do, dont bite when she gives you the bait of "i was starting to think you hate/didnt like me any more..." i was able to recover from this mistake, but i could tell she wasnt as into it as i would like...

and one last thing, dont wait forever to go in for the kiss. by the time i finally did it it was wicked late and she had an hour drive to get home .

[verbinsky]

Originally Posted by _Cane_

Proper Kino Escalation In A LJBF Situation

Initial Kino should be punches in the arm, butt bumps, and lame gay shit like that cuz it is non-threatening. Speaking of your kino task. You should escalate in this order:

1) nudging/arm punching/butt bumps when joking with each other

2) Sitting closer together (if your on a couch, see if she lets you lay your head in her lap as if you were tired and falling asleep, lay your head on her lap with your back to her -- its less threatening)

3) Put your arm around her neck while your walking&talking. Do this only for like 10-15 seconds or so, MAX, then release her. Keep doing this every so often until she responds by wrapping her arms around your waist. Until she wraps around your waist, do not move foward to the next kino step.

4) When your walking with your arms around each other each other (above), let go and grab her hand. Then walk while holding hands for a minute or two and then let go.

Act like this is all happenning naturally. It is important that you release her before she has the option to push you away.

5) If you got away with holding hands, you can get away with kissing her. Don't kiss her the first time you hold hands.

6) To kiss her: Wait until the 2nd time you hold hands (while walking&talking) and when you stop walking, so will she. Turn your shoulders towards her to face her slowly and closely. Lean in and kiss her. Don't lean in too much tho.

I don't think it HAS to be in this exact order everytime. There's a girl I've been acquaintances with for the last 1.5yrs. She's cut my hair for almost a year now and we get along good. We finally started hanging out once in a while after she resisted hanging out with me at first. The last two times we went out we ended up holding hands for about a few minutes walking back to my car, and it was totally natural....to the point where neither one of us was really the initiator.....though we were both pretty tipsy. That's the only kino we've had so far, but our interactions have changed recently over the last few months....started off a year or so ago with hellos and goodbyes, then to hugs say about 4 months ago or so, and the last time I hung out with her it was a kiss on the cheek. She's now indirectly inviting me to "stop by and hang out with her and her girlfriends if you're in the area."

Anywho, just trying to say it doesn't hurt to play it by ear, because everyone is different.

[Jack Mayhoffer]

Hey guys, I just found this forum today after finishing the Mystery Method book.

This thread stuck out because I'm going through this RIGHT NOW. I just went out with a "friend" last week after not seeing (or even speaking) for almost 6 months! Broke the ice by simply inviting her to a party i was having. We didn't stop talking for a bad reason either, it just sort of happened that way. We picked up again, but this time, i was different.

So this starts as a girl i never did anything more with than put my arm around for picture purposes (which by the way guys is a ||||ing really easy way to start kino, if you continue it after the pic. It gets her used to touching you. Too bad I JUST figured that out.)

We just went to a near by bar, had a few drinks, and by the end of night I had held hands, arms around the shoulder on the way home, held her in front of me both facing me and looking away (ass to me), and I managed to get a kiss on the cheak without even looking for one.

Just stayed in my frame (even when she tried to knock me out of it, as we had a teasing relationship before) and followed what i had read in the MM book.

I have already used the teachings twice (i just finished the book, keep in mind) and both times, got results and saw things i never noticed before. Why they don't hand these books or tips out to boys in Junior High is beyond me. It would have saved me years of bullshit.

Anyways, I'll see her again when she comes back from out of town (4th of july vacation) and I'll continue doing what I'm doing and incorporate the tips from the original post. I'll let you guys know how it works.

And again, greetings and salutations to all. I'm glad i found this thread and this forum.