Guide To Qualification - The Attraction Forums

Mr M · #1 09-09-2007, 05:36 PM

The Importance Of Qualification

Many students on bootcamp get completely caught up on opening and attracting girls. While these are crucial steps, understanding qualification and the value of setting a qualifying frame is absolutely crucial to not only successfully getting a woman – but getting better with women generally. All very successful PUAs and naturals I know use qualification extremely well.

Why is Qualification So Important / Powerful In Seduction?

Qualification is surprisingly easy to apply but few people actually understand why it is so powerful. On the surface level, qualifying a woman allows her to feel that she is liked by you for deeper reasons (other than her looks). She thus feels validated and more strongly connected to you. However, the effect of qualifying goes far deeper than this.

Almost all seduction technology replicates techniques and mindsets that ‘naturals’ adopt. A ‘natural’ is a man who has the lifestyle, social status, ability and/or characteristics of a sexual selector – i.e. a man who can get beautiful women and is thus pre-selected by women.

If you were this type of man – a sexual selector - then you would naturally qualify women because looks would become a prerequisite. It would take something more than tits and an ass to impress you. Interestingly, if you are in this frame of mind where you are inherently judging the person, then you immediately assume higher value.

Qualifying someone properly is, therefore, a very powerful signalling mechanism that you are a high value sexual selector. It signifies to women that beauty, in your world, is common, and that you expect far more than just looks. Qualifying a woman, if done correctly, challenges her to meet your standards, thus flipping the frame and making you the selector. This is the power of qualification - if applied correctly it should validate them but also get them chasing you because you are the one being sought after that the woman has to prove herself to.

I can’t tell you how many a situation I have been in when a woman has been falling all over herself to qualify to me. It’s a beautiful feeling.

How To Qualify

Sinn has written an excellent article on this:
Qualification

Try to approach this from a very natural perspective. Ask yourself – what do you want in a woman besides looks? Does this woman meet your standards as a human being? In Magic Bullets, Savoy says, “Figure out what you really want in a woman, and then take this a step further by asking yourself how a woman who possessed those characteristics would present herself. Now, spend your Qualification phase looking for precisely that. For example, among other things, I value intelligence and education. I screen for this in qualification, by asking her about books she has read and movies she has seen.” This is spot on.

I personally ask the following questions in qualification:

‘Cool people are a dying breed. What do you do for fun?’
‘I get the feeling that you’re job doesn’t completely fulfil you creatively. Do you have a passion outside of work?’
'My ex used to say that there are two types of people in this world - boring and crazy. What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done lately?’ (NB this is sometimes followed by – ‘where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?’)
‘So what do you want to be when you grow up?’
‘What would you say are your 3 best qualities?’

Importantly, do not just IOI directly after the response that they give. I always inquire deeper into the interest/topic/issue. Only when they say something unique, should you actually give an IOI (or reward and relate) - see below for more on this.

Common Mistakes

Don’t simply give IOI’s for anything she says while qualifying. Try and inquire a little bit deeper and get some unique information out. Qualification is a form of connecting to the girl on a more emotional level. For example, is you say, “Are you adventurous?” and she says “Yes”, don’t just stop there! Ask her “So what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done lately?” When she describes it to you, only then reward and relate. The point is to make her work a little bit for your approval.
Qualification can get boring if you’re not being inquiring. The crux point is this: the attraction phase is based more on wide repore (i.e. multiple conversational threads, changing topics and transitioning incessantly). The qualification phase is based more on deep repore (i.e. emotional connection, asking questions, reward and relating).
Don’t forget to sexually escalate during, and after, qualification. What I mean by sexual escalation is moving towards the kiss close and/or establishing sexual interest and/or establishing that you are a sexual threat. It’s fine to escalate during the qualification (in fact you should be doing this) but once you have actually qualified her, you definitely should escalate further. I might make a completely separate post of proper escalation if there is enough interest but for now, you can sexually escalate by any combination of the following: keeping strong eye contact (‘bedroom’ eyes), triangular gazing, lowering your tonality, allow conversation to gravitate towards sexual topics and keeping prolonged or more intimate kino (e.g. touch/hold her hands or touch back of neck if she is talking into her ear).

FunkyMunky · #2 09-12-2007, 10:48 AM

Five-star post. I agree that qualification is not so hard to put into action. I find it to be one of the trickier stages. A lot of the qualification stage is based on your own observations and perceptions. When and what you feel is an effective topic for conversation and deciding when she has provided you with enough to earn an IOI. Very situational and subjective.

The concept of frames helps greatly to focus and lead your interaction on your own terms. The frame also aids in ensuring that you are congruent.

This seems like as powerful a tool as Mr. M says it is. Thanks!

Mr M · #3 09-12-2007, 01:31 PM

Spot on FunkyMunky... Qualification is not hard to put into action (i.e. you can just throw the question out and agree) but doing it effectively is a true art form indeed. The true art form is finding out about the person, connecting with them and maintaining attraction and higher value simultaneously.

You bring up an v.interesting point in terms of frame. Setting up a qualifying frame while in set is one of the most incredibly potent seduction tools I have utilized. A qualifying frame is one where the other person is qualifying/justifying/trying to prove themselves to you. People generally try to prove themselves to people who have higher social value. So - if you can get a woman qualifying, it creates a subconscious assumption that you (a) have higher social value and (b) are dominant. Frames are one of the most facinating topics I have come accross. I'm planning a post/publication on it soon... I've just gotta find the time. I hate being in the frame that I'm busy

Interestingly, what I didn't mention in my post above is that attraction and qualification actually overlap i.e. there are ways you can generate attraction by using qualifying frames. Think about it in this way - if attraction were a concentric circle, then qualification would be a neighbouring concentric circle with overlaps. In other words, qualifying can amplify attraction. I will probably write a post or publication on attraction soon, which may encompass some aspects of this. Watch out for it!

Anyway, I'm glad I could help and that you enjoyed the post... feel free to PM me or reply if you have any further queries!

Autoace · #4 09-22-2007, 12:51 PM

This is a really great thread. It puts this stage into a great perspective, and simplifies the action of initiating it. Thanks for the great post. I will begin this with a target at my Uni today.