Kids and Dating

[pizzabox]

My main problem is that I just cannot talk about my kid during a date. I think it's also taking away from my overall approach.

The other day I brought 2nd date over to my house and wham! she saw crayons and everything that is Sesame Street. After that day it didn't go very far, i drove her home.

Any suggestions on how to approach the conversation?

[Colin]

Dude, seriously, bringing up your kids and how you're a father and take care of shit like that is such a huge DHV!!! The more you hold back or try to hide that is just gonna drive your game into the toilet.

That's your identity, man...it's a huge part of your life. Talk about it and be passionate about shit like that. Really man, there's so much you can do with that, that will DHV and gain interest in the right ways. Girls love that shit!!!

I have a 14 year old son. So it's always a part of what I convey. You have to be able to layer those emotions and show a...kinda range with your game.

[sdnightfly]

It's a part of your life, I think she felt you kept it from her and wondered what else she was going to find out next.

It's just a matter of DHVing the kid, a brief but polite mention of the ex, have a photo ready, and move on to another topic. I've been on dates with single moms where 80 percent of the conversation was about the kid and not enough about her. To me,those are women that all they have going is hope for the kid and not much else. Sometimes it might be worth sticking through it because this was her first date since a breakup that happened a few years ago and is just starting to find herself. I've always passed "the test" with kids, but I'm also aware that I don't want to be that much of a presence in the kid's head. There's nothing worse than someone's kid hoping you're going to be in their life and you're not feeling that it's working out.

There's enough single dads in the forum to get good advice from.

[ChoriChori]

I close to never talk about my daughter when I'm with girls, unless they ask me questions. If they do, I am happy to talk about her, but in general, hearing someone talk about their kids is flat out boring (unless you have a good/funny story to tell).

Yes, she is a big part of my life, and I am damn proud of her. But most girls I hang out with or date don't have kids, and its a long leap from their reality. I need something funny to tell, in order to use this activly as a DHV.

But make no mistake about it, nobody will ever question the fact that I love my daughter. I just try to tone it down.

I'm not looking for a replacement for her mom, I'm looking for a girl for me.