HB - On again, Off again

robreke · #1 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 07:04 AM

There's a 20-21 year old HB working in my office building.

Sometimes she won't walk by my office for a week or two ( I have a glass walled office and can see everyone and they me ).

However, I will occaisionally bump into her by the elevator or somewhere, we'll both smile and say "hey". After someting like this happens, she'll walk by my office 2 or more days in a row, smiling at me and waiving. Of course I reciprocate.

It's like she sees me and I smile and she walks by for a couple days for a few waives and smiles.

I have had a few brief conversations in the past....no more than a minute or 2 Also - I've noticed definite dialted pupils on her part more than once.

So, I arranged a 'chance' encounter this morning as she was walking down the hall to her office. I chatted her for a few minutes " how's it been goin'? " and such. Then I ended with " maybe I could email you sometime to say hello " She said " Okay, I'll give it to you later" seeming to be in a bit of a hurry ...as I was pulling a pen out of my pocket. I said, 'cool - good to see you - bye"

I interpret this as a blow off. I really don't expect for her to " give it to me later"..........maybe she's got a boyfriend...or too afraid to tell me no.

I'm 38.......look about 30.

any thoughts on her behavior and a course for future action/nonaction by me?

Nutz · #2 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robreke

Then I ended with " maybe I could email you sometime to say hello " She said " Okay, I'll give it to you later" seeming to be in a bit of a hurry ...as I was pulling a pen out of my pocket. I said, 'cool - good to see you - bye"

I interpret this as a blow off. I really don't expect for her to " give it to me later"..........maybe she's got a boyfriend...or too afraid to tell me no.

Blow off. You didn't generate any attraction except for what you might due to looks or your job. That got worn out quickly in your bland conversation. Should have done at least something to amp buying temp. And the way you asked for the number was weak as hell, which didn't help matters any.

robreke · #3 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 01:10 PM

So....what are some ' strong ' ways to ask for an email or phone number. Especially for an older guy and a younger girl. Trying to amp up my game.....apparently it NEEDs work.

Nutz · #4 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 01:22 PM

Any standard number close should work. Age doesn't matter when it comes to that. Simplest # close: Do something that gives her value or spikes BT, pull out your phone, open it, face it towards her sternum, and tell her to put in her number and you'll call her some time. Done.

jsaligeri · #5 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 03:58 PM

IMHO

"maybe I could email you sometime to say hello"

was a turn off... she replied "Okay, I'll give it to you later".

The "maybe I could" was in my opinion a DLV.

---

Next time, just ask point blank "Give me your email and so we ca do lunch next week". No fuss. If at that point she gives you the run off, then it is her problem.

You see her at the work place, why do you need her email to say hello... Women can smell wussies a mile away, and from my angle here, it looks as though you did come across as a wuss.

Man up, as they say around the forum here.

And as for the future, next time you see her, ignore what happened. Just act as if this never occurred. And next time you see her, say, hey, wanna join me for lunch tomorrow... lets meet at lobby at 12:30 blah blah blah... This way, you don't waste any more of your time, and hers. ;-)

Roberto.

DeadEyeDick · #6 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 04:36 PM

If it's someone you see regularly, and you don't work together but still work near one another in the same building, I'm filing it under D for Don't shit where you eat. If it doesn't go your way, do you really want to have to deal with her on a more or less regular basis after that?

I'd find other beautiful babies to pursue. Rumor has it there are millions of them out there!

robreke · #7 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 05:54 PM

I get it. The way I asked for her number lacked confidence and was weak. I will work on it.

I understand your logic Dead EyeDick. And I probalby will try to move on. It's just that I have a kind of high profile office and it's an ideal place to get attraction from young females because it's kind of an executive identity I have. I stand out at the office much more than some night club or the grocery.

It's not that often that a 9-10, 21 year old gorgeous chick ( like this girl ) gives me such blatant IOIs. I know that my position and status had something to do with that. I could and will look for HBs elsewhere.......yet, this just type of girl attention and IOIs doesn't happen often in my life. I guess I fucked it up with my wuss approach.

I don't know if it's irreparable.........I'm thinking the best thing is to lay off for a while and see if she ever gives me any IOIs down the road. Then, have much more confidence. I'm thinking , however,for the time being........I won't be seeing any IOIs from her...or probably her at all for that matter.

SlimC · #8 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 08:06 PM

robreke,

These guys are speaking the truth...you have some inner game stuff to work on and you didn't spark attraction with her. You pretty much didn't stand out and you got the number like a low value guy. I've been there man and it sucks. Be direct with number closing!!! You are man...you have to take the frame that she is missing out by not giving you her number. Not the other way around.

My advice is to go and get David DeAngelo's "Double Your Dating" book and also his Advanced Series DVD or better yet, see if you can find the Advanced series on MP3s and play it over and over on your IPOD or in your car. His positive thinking and techniques will absolutely motivate you to believing that you are the man and I'm telling you....women will follow. I've taken a lot of the lines, info, and routines from Magic Bullets and Routines, but my inner game transformation came from David D. He has a lot of other good DVD series too...

Get that inner game worked out and let us know how it goes!

FemmeFatale · #9 (**permalink**) 08-02-2008, 06:27 AM

Thoughts? Its always nice to get a bit of attention, but a smile and a few looks is obviously enough for her. If you're gonna be the older guy at least be the spontaneous, charming and witty guy that strikes an amazing conversation with her and then walks away because he's too busy...leaves her wanting more..so she works harder for your attention. You ask for her number and obviously hit on her and you;re the threatening older guy.. you go about it by being different and you're suddenly someone shes interested in and she has no idea why.

robreke · #10 (**permalink**) 08-07-2008, 02:47 PM

An update.....now for the past few days in a row....she's walking by my office. Now, she's looking in with a half smile on her face like 'oh, that's where that older powerful man who asked for my email works". She went with her friend to get lunch and purposefully walked by my office twice....looking in. usually it's just once because when she walks by twice , it's a longer route to get to her office.

Of course, she may just be 'showing me off' to her friend...like, 'look I got that guy to ask for my email'

But I think that it's as if my asking for her email ( admittedly awkward as it was ).... sparked, shall we say, curiosity. Has anyone had this happen? That is, you try to get a number or email ......the girl blows you off. Then, later....she's still showing interest in you. Perhaps, like she regrets blowing you off. I mean, who's to say that women never regret not giving their number out.....then, after thinking about it.....perhaps want a second chance.

Don't misunderstand...I'm not going to get over excited here nor do I believe she's totally regretful and in love with me, it's just I'm trying to decipher what's going on here. I suppose my course of action is to play calm, friendly and mildly aloof. If I do ask for it again.....I will follow the tactics laid out in this post.