Am I getting addicted to the game?

[Keldas]

I must say that I find all aspects of gaming fascinating. I enjoy reading people's posts on the forum, browsing through the literature and going out sarging. I just worry whether this might be taking over my life.

Is it unnatural to want to go out sarging a couple of times a week? When I'm interested in something, its full steam ahead for me. I want to master it. I started running a few months ago. Now I have the full running kit, am out running every other day and want to invest in a Iron Man watch.

Part of the problem is that my current social life is rather dull. Many of my friends are married or in relationships and when I meet them they talk about their jobs, partners and kids and I can't relate to it. Truth is, I'd rather be out sarging than having a pint down the pub with an old mate. And that kind of concerns me....I don't know if I'm behaving normally....

Its not like I don't have other interests - I go to exhibitions, run and go to a kung fu class. But the thing that really excites me at the moment is gaming. I've always been fascinated by women. And I've never had the love life I've wanted, so when I found out about this community I was instantly drawn to it. I just don't want to get consumed by this interest.

How do you know when this stuff is taking over your life? And is cold turkey the best answer?

[Vapor]

Some people get obsessive, then frustrated, then quit. Make a plan for how much time you are going to spend on this stuff each week and stick to it.

[sdnightfly]

It sounds like you're worried about something that hasn't happened yet, where sarging a couple of times a week is too much. Some people do it constantly, some hit the bars and nightclubs every night.

Have you checked out running groups and other social activities that go around running? Sometimes trips are planned around that and you wind up on someone's Evite.

I think for some people going that route has been better for them, the age is a pretty diverse mix, everyone has a mutual interest, friendships come out of it.

Married friends vs single friends has always been a problem. The wife doesn't want her husband to hang with the single friend... but that also ties in to the guy going Beta, because chances are she's choosing his social circle. But some of the benefit is that they can DHV you if someone winds up showing up at the party, but if you've ever had friends go "you two would be great together", be very cautious. That's wrecked friendships and caused hurt feelings. And sometimes it's worked.

As far as the love life you want, that's a complete investment into someone and a lot of time before you really know for sure. In a way, being in your 30s and 40s, I think men have the upper hand when it comes to dating. You really have the best variety available to you then. In your 20s, it's a competitive sport. In your 30s and 40s, hopefully you've experienced enough in different dates and relationships to size someone up effectively.

Is there such a thing as too much kung-fu training, and too much running? There's excessive training, excessive running. You can search "social robot" about excessive gaming I think.

With you worried about it taking over your life, it probably won't. Anything that's an addiction... the one thing in common of addicts of all sorts is that they have it under control.

Originally Posted by Keldas

I must say that I find all aspects of gaming fascinating. I enjoy reading people's posts on the forum, browsing through the literature and going out sarging. I just worry whether this might be taking over my life.

Is it unnatural to want to go out sarging a couple of times a week? When I'm interested in something, its full steam ahead for me. I want to master it. I started running a few months ago. Now I have the full running kit, am out running every other day and want to invest in a Iron Man watch.

Part of the problem is that my current social life is rather dull. Many of my friends are married or in relationships and when I meet them they talk about their jobs, partners and kids and I can't relate to it. Truth is, I'd rather be out sarging than having a pint down the pub with an old mate. And that kind of concerns me....I don't know if I'm behaving normally....

Its not like I don't have other interests - I go to exhibitions, run and go to a kung fu class. But the thing that really excites me at the moment is gaming. I've always been fascinated by women. And I've never had the love life I've wanted, so when I found out about this community I was instantly drawn to it. I just don't want to get consumed by this interest.

How do you know when this stuff is taking over your life? And is cold turkey the best answer?

[Keldas]

Thank you for your very considered reply. I've been meaning to get involved more in the running scene, so thanks for the reminder. I suppose I started to worry whether I was getting addicted to the game when I was chatting on MSN to a guy from this forum. I mentioned that I'd been invited out by a group of married friends, but wasn't that interested in going. I told him I would rather be spending the evening sarging. I think he took that to mean that I was no longer interested in socialising with friends and cautioned me not to get too wrapped up in the game. I think he was just looking out for me. We hardly know each other; he's not going to appreciate the full circumstances of my life. I think if you are single, you're going to want to spend your Saturday night in the company of women instead of just hanging out with your married mates. Its not like my friends don't mean a lot to me. I enjoy seeing them on a regular basis. I just know when it comes to hanging out on a Friday or Saturday night they have a different agenda to me.

As for dating goes, I've had a couple of brief relationships and a few flings. I am not looking for a partner at present. I simply want to sleep with more women, and if I meet someone I really like in the process, then great! I am certainly not closed off to that possibility. But my priority at the moment is to improve my personal life - I am sleeping with one woman a year at present. Last year, I met a German girl, slept with her once and saw her a couple of times. I wasn't really that into her so I ended it pretty quickly. And nothing else happened on that front the rest of the year! Now, I know that there are some guys on the forum who have never got laid, so I should be thankful that I've had the limited experience that I've had, but it would be quite nice to get laid more than once a year!