What do you want in a chick? Or not want?

[DeadEyeDick]

In the "Why We Have it Made in the Shade" thread, Superxavier posted a really nice piece on, among other things, deciding (and then writing) specifically what you want (Post #22).

He gave the following list of what he was looking for in an ideal girlfriend:

* Smart and intelligent
* Tall
* Slim
* Athletic
* Dark Skin
* 15 years younger (my grandmother's advice)
* Model
* Mother of a one year old son
* Respectful
* Likes drugs
* Loves art and culture
* Bisexual
* Low maintenance
* All terrain
* Competitive
* ...
* A scar in the calf (made by a motorcycle muffler, sign that shes fun and pretty since little)

and goes on.

And he said that he now has that.

I used to be superstitious and think that if you were too specific, you wouldn't get it.

More often, lately, I believe, as Superxavier clearly does, too, that being specific is critical, so that your brain can act like a radar device and correctly identify when someone's for you.

I also believe in writing the list down. Why? Because when you write anything, you are teaching yourself about it. You are, quite literally, interacting with the paper (or the screen) and learning about what you're thinking as you write. By reading it, you inform yourself, and then revise to fit what you've just learned.

Nutty to think of it that way, perhaps, but it's true. In fact, William Zinser wrote an entire book on this called Writing to Learn.

But I digress.

What do you want in a chick?

It would be interesting to use this thread as our "think pad."

A few years ago, I made a list of "desired qualities":

*Honest

*Happy

*Intelligent

*Good communicator

*Kindhearted

*Sensitive to the needs of others.

*Down-to-Earth approach to life.

*Athletic/takes pride in her appearance.

*Pays attention to details.

*Fun/Good sense of humor.

*Takes responsibility for her own happiness.

*Long hair (color doesn't matter).

*Amazing smile.

What don't you want?

I think it's important to know what you don't want too. I don't want:

*Slob

*Bad breath

*Does dopey shit (no common sense)

* Princess-like attitude

*Stocky/thick

*Smokes/does drugs

*Lies and thinks she's getting over.

What about you boys? What are your must haves, and your must not haves?

[Sapien]

Hmmm, never made a list for this before but here it goes; the impossibly perfect woman for me should be:

1. Cute; by my own definition of what cute is.

2. Artsy; whether her thing is painting, music, theater, performance art or whatever, she has to appreciate the arts in some manner.

3. Likes herself; if she doesn't like herself, then how can I like her?

4. Confident; I want to know what she likes and doesn't like, not have her try to be someone she isn't to appease me.

5. Happy; I want her to know that true happiness comes from within.

6. Intelligent; it doesn't make it easy that I have a freakishly high IQ, but she should at least be within 40 points of mine so that we can have meaningful conversations.

7. Tolerant; I'm going to be me, I want her to be her. Don't try to change me, Baby!

8. Has her own friends; I don't want to be someone's sole contact with the outside world. She needs to have her own friends to hang with while I'm hanging with mine.

9. Kind; again, pretty self-explanatory. She has to love and be nice to kids, old people, handicapped folks and animals.

10. Dark sense of humor; I have a very dark sense of humor. If she can't at least appreciate that fact, then it's going to be a big problem.

11. Classy; at least some of the time she should be able to appreciate the finer things in life.

12. Grungy; well it's nice to step out with boots and leather now and again. I know this seems to contradict number 11 but hey, I can be both- why can't she?


This paradoxically perfect broad must NOT be:

1. Judgmental; nobody is perfect. Nobody.

2. Trendy; I don't mind if she wants to keep up to date on styles and fashions, but if she is consumed by the latest fads then she clearly has no mind of her own.

3. Overweight; I seriously prefer petite women, but if they are cute enough I can overlook 5-10 pounds of padding. Any more than that and it just doesn't work for me. I myself am coke-addict thin, so I need someone who will not throw off the balance.

4. Narcissistic; been there, done that. A woman so obsessed with her image and what others think about her is way more maintenance than I am willing to consider.

5. Smoke/drugs; this includes excessive drinking. I find it unattractive when someone can not stay in control.

6. Temperamental; It's okay to feel emotions, but not to let them control you. I keep mine under control, she should be able to do the same.

7. Begrudging; If she holds onto past disagreements then you can not maintain a healthy relationship. Bringing up the past = can't forgive.

8. Gossipy; I really don't want to hear all the sordid details of her friends' and family's lives, nor do I want them to hear all the sordid details of mine.

9. Needy; She should be able to be alone now and then and not get all insecure. She should have her own interests and be happy enough with herself that she doesn't need me all the time.

And last but not least:
10. Manipulative; I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

[Keldas]

My ideal girlfriend would be:

In her mid twenties

Beautiful face

Lovely curvacious figure

Have a really positive attitude

Be adventurious - I'd be looking for someone who'd be just as happy staying in a yurt in Mongolia as a 5 star hotel

Be intellectually curious - I would want to be with someone who had strong opinions and something to say on life in general

Have a good sense of humour

Passionate about the outdoors - I love mountain climbing and skiing. It would be great to be with someone who shared a spiritual connection to the outdoors.

Lover of the arts

A good cook - I like a woman who can cook well. What guy doesn't?

Interested in growing/developing as a person - This person would be behind my efforts to become a better person and I, in turn, would help and support this person in their endeavours

Able to take a somewhat amused perspective on life

Loving and caring - they would need to be tactile and affectionate

Good in bed :-) - suprised no one has put this on the list!

Damn, I am getting excited just imagining such a girl! I was listening to the CD version of 'The Secret' yesterday and it talks about visualising your perfect partner. I wonder if anyone has done this exercise and whether it has worked for them....I am still somewhat skeptical about the whole 'Secret' thing but ready to give a go.

[Seascape]

Excellent idea for a thread. I've been hearing again and again how important this is.

As far as looks and go, I'm approaching it as a three-stage process -- 30-45 and OK looking, then 30-45 and hot, then 18-30 and hot.

Long hair, color unimportant

Small breasts

Around 5'2" to 5'4", give or take an inch

Stylish in a casual way

Great smile

Unusual or pretty name

Speaks English

Educated and smart

Ability to play and have fun. In touch with her inner child.

Has her emotions together

Touchy, not afraid of PDAs

Cuddler

A bit of a kinky side

[WWMD]

Confident, Happy, Open-minded, smart, witty, quick, fun, enjoys being altered (drinking/smoking), somewhat athletic, has hobbies, enjoys competition, knows when to be quiet, knows when to speak up, loyal, mentally strong.

Fun to be around, but not a complete silly ass-hat.

Looks...
Not too picky if has all the psychological characteristics listed above.
I like blondes with some meet on their bones. Like boobs and a bigger ass.
Not a gargoyle or a submarine. But not a high maintenance skeleton either. A 'healthy' looking chick who takes care of herself and doesn't overdo it. She is not concerned so much with how others view her because she is content in her own happiness, but enjoys looking her best because that is how she feels inside.

[DeadEyeDick]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Hmmm, never made a list for this before but here it goes; the impossibly perfect woman for me should be:

1. Cute; by my own definition of what cute is.

2. Artsy; whether her thing is painting, music, theater, performance art or whatever, she has to appreciate the arts in some manner.

3. Likes herself; if she doesn't like herself, then how can I like her?

4. Confident; I want to know what she likes and doesn't like, not have her try to be someone she isn't to appease me.

5. Happy; I want her to know that true happiness comes from within.

6. Intelligent; it doesn't make it easy that I have a freakishly high IQ, but she should at least be within 40 points of mine so that we can have meaningful conversations.

7. Tolerant; I'm going to be me, I want her to be her. Don't try to change me, Baby!

8. Has her own friends; I don't want to be someone's sole contact with the outside world. She needs to have her own friends to hang with while I'm hanging with mine.

9. Kind; again, pretty self-explanatory. She has to love and be nice to kids, old people, handicapped folks and animals.

10. Dark sense of humor; I have a very dark sense of humor. If she can't at least appreciate that fact, then it's going to be a big problem.

11. Classy; at least some of the time she should be able to appreciate the finer things in life.

12. Grungy; well it's nice to step out with boots and leather now and again. I know this seems to contradict number 11 but hey, I can be both- why can't she?


This paradoxically perfect broad must NOT be:

1. Judgmental; nobody is perfect. Nobody.

2. Trendy; I don't mind if she wants to keep up to date on styles and fashions, but if she is consumed by the latest fads then she clearly has no mind of her own.

3. Overweight; I seriously prefer petite women, but if they are cute enough I can overlook 5-10 pounds of padding. Any more than that and it just doesn't work for me. I myself am coke-addict thin, so I need someone who will not throw off the balance.

4. Narcissistic; been there, done that. A woman so obsessed with her image and what others think about her is way more maintenance than I am willing to consider.

5. Smoke/drugs; this includes excessive drinking. I find it unattractive when someone can not stay in control.

6. Temperamental; It's okay to feel emotions, but not to let them control you. I keep mine under control, she should be able to do the same.

7. Begrudging; If she holds onto past disagreements then you can not maintain a healthy relationship. Bringing up the past = can't forgive.

8. Gossipy; I really don't want to hear all the sordid details of her friends' and family's lives, nor do I want them to hear all the sordid details of mine.

9. Needy; She should be able to be alone now and then and not get all insecure. She should have her own interests and be happy enough with herself that she doesn't need me all the time.

And last but not least:
10. Manipulative; I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

For someone whose never written this out before, it's an awesome list. I think you identified some specific likes and "can't haves," but not so specific that no one would fit the bill.

My experience in reading through this list, and the others, is that I mentally consider whether or not I'm looking for (or avoiding!) the same things!

[DeadEyeDick]

Originally Posted by LoveToPaint635

Excellent idea for a thread. I've been hearing again and again how important this is.

As far as looks and go, I'm approaching it as a three-stage process -- 30-45 and OK looking, then 30-45 and hot, then 18-30 and hot.

Long hair, color unimportant

Small breasts

Around 5'2" to 5'4", give or take an inch

Stylish in a casual way

Great smile

Unusual or pretty name

Speaks English

Educated and smart

Ability to play and have fun. In touch with her inner child.

Has her emotions together

Touchy, not afraid of PDAs

Cuddler

A bit of a kinky side

I like the "stylish in a casual way," the ability to have fun, and a "bit" of a kinky side.

I like pushing things a little bit in bed just to see where it leads, and it's cool when the girl is right there with you, or has some ideas of her own.

[DeadEyeDick]

Originally Posted by WWMD

Confident, Happy, Open-minded, smart, witty, quick, fun, enjoys being altered (drinking/smoking), somewhat athletic, has hobbies, enjoys competition, knows when to be quiet, knows when to speak up, loyal, mentally strong.

Fun to be around, but not a complete silly ass-hat.

Looks...
Not too picky if has all the psychological characteristics listed above.
I like blondes with some meet on their bones. Like boobs and a bigger ass.
Not a gargoyle or a submarine. But not a high maintenance skeleton either. A 'healthy' looking chick who takes care of herself and doesn't overdo it. She is not concerned so much with how others view her because she is content in her own happiness, but enjoys looking her best because that is how she feels inside.

Just got back from a date with a chick who was completely fit, but I'm thinking she's over-obsessed with the gym (not that I mind, but it could get old!).

That feeling that radiates out is a good thought.

[_Cane_]

What do I want in a girl?

1) Glowing Aura

2) Ability To Draw People Into Her (Highly Admired/Likeable)

3) Solid Inner Game (Ability To Control Her Emotions And Self-Confidence)

4) Healthy Lifestyle (Physically, Mentally, Spiritually)

5) Chameleon Like Social Skills (I Get Along With All Kinds Of People, And If I Take Her Places, She Should Truely Get Along With Those People Too)

6) Leadership (Doesn't Make Her Decisions Based On What Other People Think)

7) Treats Me As If I Am The Captain Of OUR Ship

8) Proportionate Body (Not a huge ass and small tits and not huge tits with a white trash ass, I just want them to match each other, so that I can spend equal time on them in bed )

9) Caring Mother


What do I not want in a girl?

- Bitchy Attitude

- Overly Trendy Or Influenced By Reality Show Type Shit

- Selfish/Conceeded (different then self-confidence)

- No Aspirations In Life

- Worrys Too Much About Material Shit (Everyone Wants Stuff, Me Too, But Being Adult About It Is Important)

- Unorganized

- Dependent On Parental Influence To Make Decisions

the list goes on

[Superxavier]

Deadeyedick, thanks for the flowers.

There are a number of reasons why i think we should write lists of everything we want AND NOT MAKE LIST OF WHAT WE DON'T

And the main reason is because I know that my thoughts create. And if subtle thoughts create, words super create and written words Super super create.

And why not write what you don't want? Because doing that you create or attract something you don't want. The universe does not hear the not in the beginning of the phrase, it just notice what you think about.

So what to do about the things i don't want? Reverse them into things you do want.

Example:

Originally Posted by _Cane_

What do I not want in a girl?
- Bitchy Attitude
- Overly Trendy Or Influenced By Reality Show Type Shit
- Selfish/Conceeded (different then self-confidence)
- No Aspirations In Life
- Worrys Too Much About Material Shit (Everyone Wants Stuff, Me Too, But Being Adult About It Is Important)
- Unorganized
- Dependent On Parental Influence To Make Decisions
the list goes on

You just turn this thing around and put them in the bottom of the "i want" list
- Easy going and groovy
- Self defined
- Generous
- High aspirations
- Spiritual
- Organizized
- Independent decision maker

And KELDAS is so right, the main porpoise of the list is to have a clear view of what you will visualize. You visualize it until it FEELS good, once you are feeling good about that image in your mind, it means its coming babe.
Note to Keldas and all the LOA practicers, find my posts, most are about using loa in your game.

Thinking about what we want and what we don't want is the reason we keep attracting girls with all we like and all we dislike.

So I recommend stick to the “I want” list.
-
In "Without embarrassment" Pilinski says:
The Primary Emotional Needs of a Man:
1.- The need for unconditional acceptance
2.- The need to have a true friend in his side.
3.- The need for respect
4.- The need for great sex
So, if you identify, put them on your lists.
-
Deadeyedick, you are right in thinking about being too specific is not always good. My teacher says, BE AS SPECIFIC AS YOU CAN, WITHOUT FEELING BAD. The more used you are receiving things, you will be able to be more specific and not feel like, mmm that would be impossible for me to get.

That's why Sapien makes a list and feels its an impossible woman, that list is too specific for his inner game BUT JUST FOR THE MOMENT.
-
Sapien when you were married you felt you could not be free, so you weren't. As soon as you felt you could get freedom you got it. But it took a lot of maturing and growing inside of you. Now you can stop feeling you can't get the woman you want doing thins like this: Make a list of every time you got exactly what you want in life, the perfect ice cream, the perfect tan, the perfect test, etc. You will discover that there are perfect things for you in the universe, practice that feeling.

You regained your freedom, now go for the abundance, regain your abundance, that will be another step in freedom.

In this moment you feel free, that's achieved, now your next goal to achieve is Feeling like you can get the girl of your dreams and next FEELING LIKE YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.

Imagine what you will feel like once you start getting solely the perfect things you want, imagine that, taste it, feel it and you'll live it.

For now make lists that you feel are possible, then you can be more specific.

That's also a way to measure your inner game, You will feel different every day about your lists, you will be more aware about what you feel you can get and what you still feel you can't.

WHAT WOULD BE THE PORPOISE OF A LIST OF THINGS I THINK I CAN'T ACHIEVE?

It will be an amazing tool for setting your intentions (your intentions is the orders you give to the universe and the universe will give you all you ask).

The name of the list would be:

My intention is to feel like I can have:

As soon as you feel you can have something it will fall from the sky (like).

Another note from sapien's list "7. Tolerant; I'm going to be me, I want her to be her. Don't try to change me, Baby!"

I recommend that you don´t put that in your list for now, until you are attracting the perfect girl, let me tell you, every girl you meet will want to change you because thats the natural way for them, "Get the man you can and them turn it in the man you want", i think you should hear what she wants you to change, almost in every case it will be a good advice from someone who instinctively know whats better in a man.

X

P.s. If the universe is not giving you what you want is not bad luck, you just have to learn to ask.