The AMOG. Alpha Male of the Group. Otherwise known as: THAT Guy.
We've all run into them and had to deal with them (or we get dealt with). To date, the best post out on how to deal with AMOG's, in my opinion, is Harlequin's
AMOG Strategy. Harlequin-Jitsu.. Excellent post on the topic. Look it up.
I wanted to cover the topic in a bit more detail and give a comprehensive guide on the subject. If I am going to be constantly referred to as the "bad boy" of this community, and given my ego, well then I am going to be an authority on AMOGging!
I suggest before reading forward you also check my post on
Essential to Your Game: What is the Alpha Male? that way you can get completely sucked into my frame and my frame is a wonderful place to live, I assure you.
I have found that the best way to avoid getting Amogged is to be the AMOG. And by this I don't mean be a dick, I mean be the alpha male, as there can only be one. Now most of what you are about to read applies to sets that already have guys in it. Whether they know each other or not (a bunch of friends, or HB's that have some AFC's hitting on them) doesn't matter. However, this advice also applies to guys trying to enter your set as well.
So to start off:
PREVENTION
Most AMOG's can prevented. Guys will try to assert their authority when they feel there is a perceived threat to their masculinity. Whether this means you are talking to a girl in their group, or stealing the spotlight from them. It is natural. Their desire to dominate kicks in and you will feel the brunt of it. So this should be disarmed from the beginning.
1) Open the guys in a set first.
Going in with an opinion opener and it is a mixed set? Open the guys! Use the vodka opener which works well. Bond with the guys in the set first. If you are good enough, the girls in the set will enter into the conversation. Now they are entering into YOUR set, not the other way around. Or you can bring the girls into the conversation, in fact you can even ask one of the guys to "get a female opinion" on the topic. Have HIM bring her into the set.
Use a wing.
When possible, not only open the guys first, but have your wing enter the set and also engage the guys there. This signals that you are not there alone, and reinforces the idea that you are there to hang out and have a good time. NOT that you are trying to pick up THEIR women, because you are ignoring the women and are engrossed in a conversation with your wing and the guys.
Use humor
Be charming. Get the guys laughing. You want to them to quickly reach the conclusion that you are a "cool guy." In fact, many times I will do this and the guys I am talking to will turn to the women in the set and say, "You HAVE to meet this guy, come here." This is pure gold. You now have their approval and social proof. This is even better than an accomplishment intro from a wing.
If a guy is entering your set, a simple, "Do
we know you????" is sufficient to disarm the guy and make you and the girl seem like a couple.
But alas. Sometimes, an AMOG is an AMOG and even using these three basic prevention techniques, you will still run into problems. So, what do you do next? Their are several routes you can take:
Out Alpha- Ignore
Plain and simple. You continue to dominate the set. Ignore the comments coming from the AMOG peanut gallery and control the situation. The best way to do this is to bring the party to the group. By this I mean, if that group is having a better time with you there then they were before you arrived, then no matter what the AMOG does, the group will not want you to leave. In fact, they will look negatively on the guy trying to fuck with you. In this scenario, you are ignoring the AMOG and relying on the fun you are bringing to the group. Allowing the group to deal with the AMOG.
Out Alpha - Integrate
Again you are bringing the party to the group, but in this instance it is clear that ignoring the AMOG is not going to make the persistent fucker go away. He just goes on and on and will not stop. Maybe at this point you just want to fuck him up, rip off his eyelids and leaving him rolling on the floor in pain. Or perhaps that's just me. Either way, don't. Try to bring him into the group, steer the topic towards things that the AMOG has some input on. I am not talking about bowing down to the AMOG here, but rather allowing him to have a good time in YOUR set. Are you addressing him enough? Asking him any questions? There will come a time to isolate the target, but first you must deal with this obstacle.
Out Alpha - Engage
Ok, so you measured up the situation and realized ignoring the fucktard isn't going to work and he seems to have no desire to play nice with others. Now you have to engage him, but playfully. Begin integrating him, whether he wants it or not, but now you can start throwing a few jokes at his expense out there. Is he an intern? Does he work at McDonalds? Is he wearing a shirt that just screams, "Fuck with me, I am a dork!"? There is generally plenty of material there. Sometimes even a, "That's it, he's cut off, no more drinks for him." is enough. You want to be subtle here. The time for, "Hey pumpkin, why don't you go fix your makeup" isn't here yet. But you do want to get the AMOG qualifying to you at this point. Start asking him questions that makes him start to seek your approval.
Finally, if you tried all this, and the guy is clearly determined to get rid of you, you have a choice. You can isolate the guy, "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" and be straightforward with him. Or you can call him out in front of the group with, "Well, apparently AMOG over here seems to have an issue with me, but it was a pleasure meeting all of you." If you have added value to this group, at this point they will object to your leaving. And this objection from the group will be the final blow into the heart of the AMOG.
Now you can be much more sarcastic and direct with someone entering into your set that the HB's do not know. You don't want them there, so you can try to befriend them, but you don't want them hanging around. You can have your wing occupy them, but that sucks for your wing. So lines like, "Do we know you?" and "How cute!" and then whisper in one of the girls ears something about the guy that is 'cute', she will chuckle he will feel like an idiot, or "Just in time, dude buy us a round of drinks." Etc. Keep it playful, but your goal here is to get rid of the intruder.
But if all else fails then yes, use your wit and completely destroy the AMOG, there are a lot of posts out there for suggested one-liners and things you can say. Work at getting good at coming up with ones on the spot. However, keep in mind if you try everything else this should be used in only a small percentage of situations. Remember, you want to avoid a physical fight here, not start one!
In the end, you always want to maintain your frame. Don't let any AMOG irritate you so much that you get angry or physical.
In fact, an AMOG is an excellent way for you to show DHV. Use your dominance of him to turn on yet another attraction switch in your target. Remember: Confident-Funny - Yes. Charming-Funny - Yes. Cocky-Funny - NO!
So if you ever see me out there, and want to try to AMOG my arrogant ass, give it your best shot, hit hard and make sure I feel the sting....because you'll be buying me drinks before the night is out. Chopin and a splash of Cran.
I hope this helps some people, and as usual, there is much left out here, so if anyone else has some ideas, it would be great to see.
With love,