Overcoming Approach Anxiety.

[Harlequin]

The newbie mission will make an APUA of you... that's Aspiring Pick-Up Artist. Some of you have a hard time with the 3s rule & get approach anxiety. Ok so you're scared about approaching sets or even lone girls. That's ok. AA is natural. To be worried about this would have at one time ensured your survival. Mystery will tell you how we're still wired up for Tribal Society. Speak to the wrong girl, some important man's lady & BAM, you get hit with a rock in the head & his cronies are stomping on your skull... all because you chatted to his 'bird.'
Unless you're in Chapeltown, Brixton, or Redneckville things should be different now. No need to be SO worried. Let's get around this AA.
JUST GET OUT & BE AROUND PEOPLE. Or go out & do something interesting that you've always wanted to do. Something that many people would envy. Then when you get back, have a mental field report ready to tell someone about. You went rock climbing on a dry wall indoors & you thought that the rope guy had you safe when in fact he'd forgotten all about you & you'd just free-climbed 100ft. You had a day off so you pointed the car in a random direction & drove somewhere just for the hell of it... "& guess where I ended up!? Outside my old school, brought back so many memories..." (cut to story about when you were a kid & did ______ whatever. Return to innocence. She'll join you. Childhood was carefree. Talk about that.
Talk about the time you tried to bury the dog when you thought it was dead & he was just anesthetized from the vets... or when you painted the cat blue because you thought grey was boring... "I was about 19 at the time!" then show you're just playing like I did with you. No I was never cruel to animals, love your dog... just don't LUUUURVE you're dog, Capice?
Communicate. LIVE then tell someone about it. Get a girl's opinion on something it doesn't have to be canned. Find what works for you. Who are you exactly? Do you even know? Go do the WHO MEDITATION. Be aware of yourself. Sort your frame out. Know yourself. Do you react to everything or do you create it? CREATION & REACTION are the same word if you 'C' things differently. C?
If you're not ready to approach get out somewhere you're unfamiliar with, ask a HB directions to some place. Tell her how much you love being in unfamiliar territories but that you like the feeling of the unknown. Ask her if she knows what that feels like. Boom, you just approached a girl & you slung an opener in there. Do what I used to do to build up my confidence... Grab a gym bag... take your watch off approach the most gorgeous girl you can find;
"Excuse me, do you have the time?"
"2:20..."
"Damn, I'm late... do you know the way to the sports centre? I got a game starting in 10 minutes..."
She either knows or she doesn't... "It's just over there huh? Damn what a TREK... can I get a piggy back?"
I was on the way to Leeds Olympic Pool (Which had to be renamed Leeds international pool because the builders fucked it up & made it one inch short of 50 meters) I was full of energy & enthusiasm & saw this HOT girl. I was hornier than a field of Rhinoceroses because of my WANKTIONS (Wank Sanctions) & approached her less than 500 yards from the pool on Wellington St. I asked her directions to the pool, & she didn't know... I busted her on it & then directed HER to the pool. Zany, but she loved it. Before she was stood like a tool at a bus stop & then some nutter come over & makes her laugh. She's happy I'm there. Better than being alone. I actually ended up having her IGNORE her bus & it drove past her so she could suffer all that I gave her. "What? That was yours? You just missed your bus?"
"Yeah... I'm supposed to signal"
"Wow... not only do you not know where the world's greatest non-Olympic pool is, but you suck with public transport..."
"Well I WAS kind of distracted..."
"Are you one of those chicks that stands on the street at night... waiting for taxis, or are you the sort that books one in advance?"
"Oh you should have seen me at the weekend, every taxi in Leeds was trying to pick us up."
*Arm Kino* "Well maybe I should see you next weekend when I pick you up... you'll love my ride..."
"Oh really... what ride is that..."
"Oh it's a Number 921 Double Decker Arriva..." (The bus she'd just missed.) (She belly laughed)
*Kino* "Look I'm going to Headingley on Friday, checking out town with some friends Saturday... Sunday I'm back at Hi-Fi for the bands... so which is best for you?"
"Busy boy aren't you..."
*Testiculate* (Like Gesticulate) "I work hard... party hard." (I think I adjusted my crotch as I said that... I always subliminally associate my groin area with a PARTY...) I think it works. There's a party going on in my pants & all HBs are invited to it.
*Major bodyrocking* "So I'm gonna be doing lengths in about ten minutes & you're going to stand here waiting to miss another bus or..." (There's one length that she oughta do... girls want sex, have that in your mind when you sarge.
"Well yeah I'll be out Saturday but..."
*KINO* "Forget the boyfriend, we'll keep it a secret... in fact, I could just kill him & wear his skin."
*Takes step back* "Omigod! You psycho."
*Kino* "Sorry, just watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre AGAIN... it's just that girl that runs all over she's so... yeah."
"I was just going to say it's my friends 21st..."
"Ah well, hey, good talking to ya..." with a smile I turned my back on her & started walking slowly.
One... two... three... F-
"Well aren't you going to ask me for my number?" I stop, turn around... Head tilted to the side & down but looking directly at her... lift my head up high maintaining eye contact, then break & stare at the clouds as if considering this.
*sighs* "Ahhhh, she's alive... (Walking back just two paces) I whup it out..." (My phone you perverts) "Ok what is it?"
She gives me her number...
This is EZ. All you need is confidence & confidence is built with experience & knowing yourself & what you're capable of.
Ask a chick what her favourite colour is. When she tells you, argue with her... tell her she's wrong, "Not correct sorry. It's actually pea green."
"What? It's Purple."
"Nope... it's green... sucks to be you." Play with her. Afterwards say, "OK I'm being an asshole because I'm sick of everyone LOVING me all the time. Just for a change I wanted someone to disagree with me.... would you like an argument?"
"No thanks..."
"Yes you would?"
"What is with you, I don't want an argument... why would I?"
"Because you love it... you're arguing with me right now..."
"No, YOU'RE arguing with ME..."
"You started it..."
"How?"
"Lying about your favourite colour..."
"Omigod!"
"Green! ... Hey, thanks, that was a GREAT argument... I needed that. Are you allowed to make friends?"
C / F playful. Like you played when you were a kid. Only now the first chance you get, the kino is on. Make kino your nature. That doesn't mean go around GRABBING girls. Just accompany some of the things you say with a sweet little touch of warmth. The arm, her knee if she's sitting down. Don't leer over people. Join their eye level. If she's sitting, sit also & mirror her. If she's stood then get ON HER LEVEL. Tilt your head when she speaks, show interest but don't complement her beauty unless she's a Warpig, make her feel good about something if she has LSE. If she's a 10 & loves herself, bring her down. Don't do what every AFC does. Don't try to arouse her sexually. Do arouse her curiosity. Get some NUMBER CLOSES. Get some kiss closes. Lower yourself to the Tic Tac routine if you must
You don't need to take any of these lines... live your own way & make things your own. READ some more MM ebooks & get out in the field & just talk to people. Any people. Practice opening up conversations with guys if you have to... get USED to approaching. Heck if your confidence is that bad, approach ANIMALS, freaking pigeons if you have to. Practice what you would say. Daft isn't it... they're just animals... so are girls... & you can have her gawping at you like an excited puppy when you get the approach down. APPROACH SOMETHING. Come up with your own material & field test it one night a week every week. Be INTERESTED in LIFE so you will BE INTERESTING then you wouldn't have to ask these questions. You'd live life to the full that you could enchant her pants off just by telling her about your visit to the dentists. Be like Mystery, stack routines & patterns... know so much about MM that you can sail through the nine stages... be like Juggler: MAKE THE MUNDANE INTERESTING. Ultimately... BE YOURSELF... the best version of yourself that you can be. HAVE FUN. This is game. It's fun. Enjoy it. It's like Snowboarding; no one's punishing you if you fall on your ass. You'll get better each fall. There's no failure, just lessons to learn. Obstacles to overcome. Be the prize. Let her chase you. Now go, get out & sarge, approach anything that moves. Approach every girl you see that you wouldn't kick out of bed... Why are you still here? SMASH YOUR COMPUTER! GET OUT! *Head Explodes*

[Tomarse]

Thats so simple its awesome!
I, like many other suffer from approach anxiety, and have been told plenty of advice but this is so simple. Just saying "Hello" is still tricky but asking a simple question such as "Whats the time?" isnt itimidating at all (he says sitting at his desk. Ask me once im outside trying it)
Thank you for the great advice
T

[Harlequin]

Don't expect to close by asking the time unless you kino her wrist as you take her arm to see it for yourself.
The idea of this simple approach is that you will calibrate yourself... get used to approaching at all.
You'd have to be pretty lame to only approach your dog or a pigeon. That's for the wbAFCs...
And don't get mixed up & ask your dog for the time, if you do this you're lower than Amoeba shit.

[Enigmaz]

Whoa, man. You've just made my life like 3 times better. REALLY.
What you said there just made sooooo much sense, and yet I hadn't seen it on my own. Now life seems so much better. Not only cuz I can sarge chicks at school, but more importantly cuz this will make my daily life SO MUCH MORE FUN!!! Can you imagine? Instead of just going here and there everyday I can stop by and talk to girls everywhere, develop my own skills, make my social group HUGE and just be popular. It will be cool when I just go to places in my college and just say hi to many girls. The cool thing is that I have nothing to lose, and I'll take it easy. If a girl wants me she'll let me know, and besides I'll get to see her again some other time.
No more boring days at college. YAY!!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH man. It's just incredible how I feel, just awesome. BTW, the idea of talking about childhood is GOLD!!! I noticed that when chicks talk about their childhood they always light up and smile. It's awesome

[Harlequin]

I recently had another near death experience, I emerged from it seeing only half the world I used to. I lost my left eye.
My outlook has never been so positive, or my game so strong.
Approaching sets try out the mindset of one who has only two weeks to live.
That should get you in there. Three second rule. The only thing I now fear is not living.

[ice]

I believe a key way to combat approach anxiety is through practice. Just as harlequin said one must try to be social at every available opportunity whether it be in a mall or coffee shop. What worked for me was to put myself in a position where being social was required. Try to volunteer in a place where you must talk to people constantly this will help your ability to approach new people in clubs or bars. Try and turn off your self conscious and while your at the club just approach every set you see whether it be male or female ugly or preety it will all help you in the long run.

[chiefofficer]

Originally Posted by ice

I believe a key way to combat approach anxiety is through practice. Just as harlequin said one must try to be social at every available opportunity whether it be in a mall or coffee shop. What worked for me was to put myself in a position where being social was required. Try to volunteer in a place where you must talk to people constantly this will help your ability to approach new people in clubs or bars. Try and turn off your self conscious and while your at the club just approach every set you see whether it be male or female ugly or preety it will all help you in the long run.

indeed. I accepted a job at a bank just for this reason. It makes everything a bit more easy

[Yes]

Originally Posted by chiefofficer

indeed. I accepted a job at a bank just for this reason. It makes everything a bit more easy

When I was younger I accepted a job for the same reason also. During my time working there I noticed less anxiety in most situations because I was getting ample practice. Eventually I left the job. Consequently I wasn't getting as much exposure noticed my anxiety increased in similar situations, which reassured me that it is a thing I have to constantly keep up with or I will risk losing it.

[Miyagui]

I've gone thru something similar here.
It seems like that approach is like a muscle... Some people have predisposition to develop faster, others not, but in either way, the only way to develop it is by using it...

[seldomseen]

Originally Posted by chiefofficer

indeed. I accepted a job at a bank just for this reason. It makes everything a bit more easy

or better yet a Mormon or Jehovah's Witness where approach anxiety isnt even a thought. Think of how humiliating it can be to walk up and talk to people who dont want to hear a thing you have to say and then ask if approaching a woman is hard. lol