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FR: The almost 3some
This is a long ass FR since I spent pretty much all night with these girls. Just a warning.
Last night was my first ever shot at a 3some. It got messed up, but obviously I don't have much experience with this area of work. Either way, I was in bed making out with 2 chicks until 6am, so read away and possibly get learned.
I start the night just hanging out with my friends playing pool. I totally pwn one game, so that got me pretty hyped up. Made every shot in off of my first turn on the break except one
So after some random banter with people since I got there first, my friends show up and want to head to a bar down the street. I'm supposed to wing this girl (Hb6) for my friend so he can get with Hb7. I get to the bar and don't see him anywhere, since I went to see some friends at a bar next door first. I go grab a drink, meet some guys on the basketball team, and decide to bounce back to my old stomping grounds when this group of two girls opens me. They were the ones my friend was supposed to be with but I didn't know that at the time, he comes up after the 5 dollar routine so I decide to stick gaming the Hb6.
Hb6: Runs up and taps me in the back while I'm walking out
Me: Goes up to her and looks at Hb7, "Is your friend always this creepy, running across the bar to grab the hottest guy around!?"
Hb6: Shut up! arm slap
Me: Whoa all this touching is going to cost you, pumpkin. 5 dollars!
Hb6: I don't have 5 dollars!
Me: I can tell by those ripped up jeans. Here's a thought for you... homeless people need clothes right? And popular people love jeans that are all beat to shit... so how about we get some nice jeans, give them to homeless people, then trade them out a few months later to sell to the rich kids? We'll make millions.
Hb6: That would be awesome! You're hilarious!
Me: That's what they pay me for darlin'. So I'm done with my drink, how about we play a game. *plays 5 ? game and wins on the 5th like usual
Me: Oh shit! Looks like you owe me a drink! But hey I'm a gentleman, so here's what we're gonna do. You buy me a drink of your choice, and I buy you a drink of mine.
She gets me a whiskey sour and laughs it up because it obviously is shitty. I get her a drink I came up with called a gin and lime, gin 7up and lime juice with 2 lime wedges. It is actually delicious but she apparently hated it too.
We go back over to our corner, and this bouncer starts hitting on Hb6. I go in for the camping cockblock routine and he pulls me over when I shake his hand so my drink spills and he gets all pissed.
Dbag1: You hittin on my girl!?
Me: Doesn't look like you're doing very well man... she doesn't even know you're hitting on her.
Dbag1: Well I could kick your ass right here
Me: But you won't. Check this, I'm gonna talk to her about masturbating, and if she leaves me, I'll tell you some stuff so you can pick her up.
Dbag1: That won't work so you're on
This is a double bonus, I know it'll work, plus it turns things sexual.
Me: Run the masturbate in the shower routine and she laughs, and says Hb7 does all the time.
Hb7: I love porn too!
Me: Holy shit, have you ever seen super ninja babes!? It's on skinemax.
Me: It's so cheezy it's amazing. Evan stone is using this silver bassmaster video game thing with the cranks as a future radio thing, and has a huge foam suit... classic shitty porn.
Basically we set it up to go back to my place to grab a calzone from this place down my driveway and watch skinemax. When we get back, my buddy houdinis out with some other girl, so I take the 2 girls with me. We get calzones, watch some SNB, and I tell them about making a remix I'm currently working on of Eiffel 65's Blue. We head into my room to listen to it, then lay on the bed and start watching TV. I escalate with Hb6 and start making out with her, and Hb7 gets jealous, so I kiss her too. Hb6 starts realizing what's going on (so does 7 but she's going with it) and gets flakey. Hb7 tries to kiss Hb6 but she wouldn't have it. So there was just back and forth rubbage and making out for an hour or so, followed by me telling them I'm gonna go to bed but they can stay if they want.
All in all, not a bad night, but I wish I could have pulled it off, because staying up till 6 is not worth it just for a high school-style make out session.
"Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Holding your breath until you pass out underwater is the ultimate demonstration of mental fortitude"
- Spec Ops Training