caught off guard

Discuss caught off guard at the Field Reports within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; caught off guard Hey everyone, I need advice on a situation that arose after sex ...

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  1. #1
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    caught off guard

    Hey everyone,

    I need advice on a situation that arose after sex that caught me completely off guard.

    I was on vacation at a beach resort, and met this HB9 who started showing IOIs almost immediately, without my doing anything. I'm still fairly new at the pickup game, and at that point, I had only read David DeAngelo's ebook "Double Your Dating".

    I started putting its techniques into use immediately: not showing much interest, being cocky and funny, etc. and it earned me a dinner date that night (her suggestion). After we made the date, I told her I had to go home and shave, and she responded "Yeah, it feels better when you shave." I gave her a look and she said "I don't know why I said that!" I left with enormous confidence. She was clearly really into me, and I was really into her, but I hadn't telegraphed it.

    Anyway, we go to dinner, and I played it cool and was exceptionally funny that night. My game was on! Afterwards, we went to the beach and kissed for awhile. Then she invited me back to go her place, but said she didn't want to have sex. I said "That's okay, I only want to cuddle with you", and off we went.

    At her place, we listened to music, danced, kissed some more, and went to bed. She finally asked if I wanted to have sex after much foreplay, and I said yes. We did it once, and it was good, not great. She seemed to enjoy herself enough without reaching an orgasm, but I figured we'd do it again later.

    Here's the problem: she got out of bed and went into the kitchen area to smoke. It was 4 in the morning. I joined her, and she said to me in measured tones that "This isn't going to work out." It caught me completely off guard. Everything had gone so well up to that point, and I was hoping this would grow into a vacation romance, though I hadn't indicated that to her. Anyway, I wussed out at that point, and eventually found my way home

    My 3 questions are:

    1) What happened with her? What was she thinking and doing? Was she testing me, or was she really dissatisfied?
    2) How would you have handled this situation? What SHOULD I have done after she said "This isn't going to work" out almost immediately after sex at 4 in the morning?
    3) What could I have done to prevent this situation from even coming up? (I think I know the answer to this one: spend more time building comfort?)

    Thanks for your help



  2. #2
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    She wanted a one night stand, probably thinking that you would leave once the sex was over. When you followed her, she was annoyed and had to tell you to leave.

  3. #3
    Vapor is offline Administrator Emeritus
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    Something happened or didn't happen during or after sex, or she's weird.

    1) What happened with her? What was she thinking and doing? Was she testing me, or was she really dissatisfied?
    She may have been dissatisfied with the sex, but it was probably something else. Were you clingy? She detected you didn't want just a ONS or there wouldn't have been a need to say anything.
    2) How would you have handled this situation? What SHOULD I have done after she said "This isn't going to work" out almost immediately after sex at 4 in the morning?
    It's game over. You need to avoid this from happening. You could try to get some kind of debriefing in but I don't think this girl will comply with that.
    3) What could I have done to prevent this situation from even coming up? (I think I know the answer to this one: spend more time building comfort?)
    Make sure she has an orgasm or 4 (don't go crazy though, some younger girls just don't have them except by themselves). Avoid clinginess. Avoid "I just want to cuddle" statements.

    But don't worry about it. This chick communicates badly.
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

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    I dunno, it seems like you got used for some sex... How good looking are you?

    Either that, or we've missed something that happend leading up to the sex, or during it.(or you missed it)

    Or maybe she was just horny but got abused or something as a child, who knows. I wouldn't sweat it man.

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