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LR: Do *I* have buyer’s remorse?
This is my first LR … and first lay on a cold approach, actually. Well, it wasn’t a day street approach, but I did start the convo in a bar while sarging by myself. (See “finally some success” FR from last week.) Went grocery shopping (Day2) with HBCurvy and a friend a couple of days ago and had a decent time as well as maybe 30 minutes total on the phone spaced out over several days. She ended up leaving her groceries in my trunk, so we failed to meet a couple of times b/c I didn’t call or she didn’t call.
Talk to her yesterday and invite her over to my place after my martial arts class (maybe around 10:30pm…) She’s eating with friends, so we make plans for the next day. 15 minutes later in the middle of my mediation, she calls and leaves a message. Changed her mind and wants to hang out tonight. I figure “it’s on”, so I get her to meet me half an hour later at my place.
Once she’s there, I don’t feel that I’m escalating very well or that I’m really doing much very well. I’ve felt kinda tired and stilted the last couple of days, so shit was not flowing smoothly (or so it seemed). Finally, after a little hand holding, I just open my arms and she’s all over me. One interesting note, about half way through the makeout, she says “sorry for being so modest. I feel like I don’t even know you and am surprised that you are attracted to me.” In my M3 infested mind, A3 and C1 bells are going off! Qualify and rapport. So I tell her that the reason that I came back to talk to her the other night at the bar was b/c she had an incredibly sexy smile (A3) and we talked about ourselves for 10 or 15 minutes before continuing (C). And since the title is “LR”, I’ll leave the rest of the story as an exercise of the imagination.
Note: I probably should have done a better job at qualifying … told her that I was into her for some of the stuff that she’s done, not for something physical. Is this correct A3 material? What Juggler’s people would call an SOI?
Buyer’s remorse. I guess I felt a little weird afterwards last night b/c I didn’t feel that connected to her. I feel a little less weird this morning after a second time and a bowl of cereal. Plus, I’m half asleep b/c I didn’t go to bed until late and woke up early since there was a cute girl in my bed. She’s a cool girl with a sexy smile, but I don’t even know her last name. Maybe being able to meet girls in bars and go to bed with them shortly afterwards is not all it’s cracked up to be? Have you guys felt this way before?
1. I noticed her gaming me … not gaming in a manipulative sense, but when she gave me IOIs or SOIs or teasing/C&F. Girls know how to do it instinctively.
2. even if you don’t feel like it or feel weird, call and approach anyway. In this situation, I didn’t really feel that I was very “on”, but apparently I was wrong.
3. I made sure to ask her the “What do you expect from me question?” In the past, this seems to be the best way to preemptively get them OUT of relationship mode. I’m not interested in monogamy right now. (My current goal is to have 3 or 4 girls in a rotation and the ability to get ONS/same day lay. I’ve never had an ONS before.) Her response was: “absolutely nothing. What do you expect from me?” Me: “just to be chill” Should I have been more explicit here?
4. I didn’t like the way that she kissed! I made up a rule once that said girls with large mouths are better kissers whereas girls with small mouths don’t use enough tongue. … that rule might be broken though b/c I don’t remember her having a small mouth…
I would like to start out by saying nice story I enjoyed the read. I can relate to your story well because I've felt at times my game was off ,but it turned out to be for the better and the girl was all over me (and I'm sure if i was dealing with a HB10 i would have been blown out). As far as Buyer's Remorse goes it happens to the best of us I've gotten it for girls ,but you just move on an find another girl that interest you more than the last. Sorry I don't have much time ,but I wish you good luck in your sarges.
As a general rule of thumb it's bad form to compliment a female on her looks, but every rule has a situation where it can be broken. For future reference, consider changing 'sexy smile' to 'cute smile'... I think it softens the blow. Test and calibrate: find what works for you.
1. All women test, most of it is done on a subconscious level. Your reaction (or lack of, in many cases!) is key. She needs to preselect an alpha male and her instincts have programmed her to do it as quickly as possible.
3. When a conquest quizes me on my intentions for the relationship, I always find that honesty is the best policy. However, it's vital that you word things right. Your average HB will react better to "I think we're great together, but we need to be realistic about the amount of time we spend with eachother... we both lead busy lives yadda yadda" than "I just want to bang you when I feel like it." Again, test and calibrate.
You can have your cake and eat it. For example: the other day I had some cake, and then I ate it.