Thai Food and Hopes of a Future Girlfriend

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    Thai Food and Hopes of a Future Girlfriend

    The night started out like any other, hopping in the shower with the “Chillout” playlist playing in the background on Itunes. I think to myself as steam rises around me and warm water caresses my back; tonight is going to be a good night . I’m starting to perk up as the sounds of Mickey Avalon’s Waiting To Die penetrate my ears. I can’t help but sing along.” Looking out the window at night can’t help but wonder, that god must be one sick muthafucka. So I bust a nut in the sky, spend another day waiting to die.” At one time those words were truth to me. I would walk the streets, early the next morning after a nights work; down in the dumps, wondering when I would finally get my shit together. I turn the water off, grab my towel and wonder…. What in the hell am I wearing tonight?


    Ahh the W Hotel, where legions of newbie and veteran puas alike, come to practice, then steal girls off the uneducated chode males. This has been my stomping grounds for the past two months, as I work to get my life in order. The night started out with me heading to the bar for water, before I descend onto the unsuspecting women in the venue. I hail over the bartender and send him my order. Right next to me stands two interesting girls that I make comments to while waiting, one is all smiles, but the other hits me with the following statement “Was that your pickup line?” I calmly explain” I’m way too clever, than to be caught dead using a line”. She ups the banter and states “That second line wasn’t any better”. At this point I don’t acknowledge what she says and ask them what are their names? (I was at a loss for what to say, so I just moved the interaction forward. You can do this when your sub-communication’s are saying that I am not going to play this childish back and forth game of wits with you. This isn’t passive aggressive, it is meant to come off as you get a joke or know a secret that she doesn’t.) I get their names and was about to go into qualifying the girls, but something happened which I cannot remember. What I do remember is somehow the convo winded down and I decided to grab my water and leave before I lost anymore social value.

    Water in hand, I talk with Adam (my roomate), having a good time just hanging out with him, when BOOM… a cutie catches my eye. (I almost dropped my water) I tell her that, “I am having a conversation with my friend, but you’re so cute that I almost dropped my water, so now you have to say hello or that’s just bad manners” . Works like a charm and she is laughing hard.

    Protégé: What’s your name?

    SuperCutie: SuperCutie with a very witty sense of humor. (She didn’t say this. Just fyi.)

    Protégé: I soo didn’t expect that name from you.

    SuperCutie: Well what did you expect?

    Protégé: (Said some sort of name which made her laugh).

    SuperCutie: What’s yours?

    Protégé: jay *extends hand*

    SuperCutie: *Shakes hand*

    I introduce Adam and let him run the set for a minute so he has a chance to win them over. Then he suggests that we move inside to sit down. (I got so busy with enjoying my girl’s company and sense of humor that I forgot that I needed to move the girls.) Adam and I walk in front of the girls while walking inside the lounge. A smile creeps over my lips and I comment to Adam who is smiling back at me; “Just like Clockwork”. We sit down and tell the girls, “sit”, in a dominant fashion. SuperCutie barks at me to hand her, her purse. I comment that “I’m not her slave”, she retorts back “You told me to sit down like a dog, so I assumed you wouldn’t mind”; touché.

    A long conversation ensues, which allows me to find out, that SuperCutie just got out of a rough relationship with a guy who was a promoter. (Hmmm, I guess telling her that I promote at some of the same venues as said douchebag is out of the question.) I reward her opening up to me with a palm read, as I want to show her that I understand who she is and where she is coming from (I use this to build a solid connection with the girl and it always prompts them to be more interested in who I am. They always berate me with questions after this). I try to escalate and create a more romantic mood, but my girl wasn’t having it. No problem, I continue on as if nothing happened and try again later on.

    Adam gives me that look like it is time to bounce. So I start to seed the bounce by talking about food (A woman’s weakness. I swear this is the easiest way to get a girl out of the venue. Everyone loves food and by the end of a long night, you are all hungry. So it’s just perfect excuse to continue hanging out with them). I wasn’t too sure if they were going to come with us because we tried to move the girls again earlier and SuperCutie started talking about us being rapists or something (It is times like these I wish I was born white). Nevertheless we get the girls to come with us for some late night Thai, at Toi on Sunset. We eat and continue joking around with the girls till the wee hours of the morning. They were some awesome girls to hang out with and my girl literally is everything I am looking for in a gf, so we’ll see what happens. Hoped you enjoyed the read, get out there and sweep some girls of their feet.

    Till next time, love, peace, and chicken grease,

    -Jay Protégé
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