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Discuss Newbie tries the Stylelife challenge [Come laugh at my failures!] at the Field Reports within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; dWed, good luck brother. the stylelife challange is a fun thing to do, but it ...
  1. #11
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    dWed, good luck brother. the stylelife challange is a fun thing to do, but it does get taxing. I picked it up right after it came up, I finished the whole 30 days. Also, my advice and this is what I do, push the social anxiety out of your head when youre out. be fun brother, these girls dont know about your depression or anxiety, I've got it too btw. Like blackbelt said, tell yourself your fun. When I walk in a club, I've been told that you can read on my face that "Im only looking for fun",
    Just think higher of yourself, I'm sure you think less of yourself than anyone else. We are all our own worst critic. But keep it up, not everyone has the balls to commit to this, and not everyone can do it amazingly, but I commend you for your efforts.



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    Quote Originally Posted by dWed View Post
    Reading this makes me realize just how far I have left to go. A bit depressing, but eh... One step at a time.
    Keep at it bro. My game was on point like 5 years ago. I was pulling the hottest chicks out of the bar on a regular basis...it took me about 6 months from the start to get to that point, although I did have a little help with a really solid wingman who I went out with 2-3 nights a week. I took several years off...Now I'm doing the challenge too and actually had a hard time opening strangers (guys or girls) on the street just to ask them anything at all! It's a bit embarrassing and I feel totally pathetic, but you'll be surprised at how quickly you'll improve if you just keep grinding at it.

    Just think of it all like a video game. Get rejected, press reset, try again. Repeat over and over again until it's easy. Eventually you'll start watching yourself in interactions and think, "Who the fuck is this guy?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChestyPuller View Post
    Just think of it all like a video game. Get rejected, press reset, try again. Repeat over and over again until it's easy. Eventually you'll start watching yourself in interactions and think, "Who the fuck is this guy?"
    Came here to whine about failing day 4. (Waited too long and AA just took over.) About to give up on the challenge. Read the above. Entirely new way of looking at it... Now I can't wait to give it another shot. Plan for tomorrow is to head out early - 10-11am - and do day 4. Head home for lunch, then do day 5 in the afternoon (depends what the mission is of course, but it should be doable).

    Also.. Today I learned:
    - Rejected something because it sounded silly. In retrospect, it was just fine. I should just try it out and see what happens.
    - I have to start immediately. If it takes me more than 15 minutes to talk to someone, I'll never get started.

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    Day 4
    Mission: Approach 3 women and ask for clothing store recommendations
    Time: 15 minutes

    Found a way to get pumped whilst in the field. Or rather, I knew it had to be some kind of music so I finally found a few tracks that works and put them in a playlist. (Sabaton - Carolus Rex, Darude - Sandstorm, DragonForce - Black Winter Night in case anyone's interested) This takes like 15 minutes to go through so I'll look into finding other tracks. For now, it'll do. Anyway, I went through it and as I was about to start someone called my name. Turns out it was a classmate of mine and we ended up grabbing lunch. So, yeah. An hour down the drain, then 15 minutes to get pumped again. Anyway..

    #1: She was walking towards me and I told myself she'd be #1 no matter what. From a distance, she seemed to be my own age, not particularly hot (5.5-6 or so) but eh. So I walk up, adrenaline rushing, and right as I say 'Hi' I realize she's this absolutely stunning MILF. Minor shock, and I stumbled on my words a ton, but she was friendly enough and helped me out. A bit funny to think that if I'd been paying attention while walking up to her, I probably would've just kept on walking, haha. :P

    Today I learned that hot women are approachable..

    #2: Took extra care when approximating her age. 20ish, I'd guess, but anyway. Walk up and start chatting, she's giving me directions when out of nowhere her friend shows up and goes "so who's this cutie?" I did not expect that, so I laughed and told her I was just asking about clothing stores. She gave me a few recommendations and I went on my way. Realized later on I might've been able to make something out of it if I had any idea what I was doing, but hey.. that's kinda why I'm doing this challenge in the first place.

    Today I learned that girls don't find me hideous.. (I already know I'm not, but it's always nice when someone confirms it heh).

    Day 5
    Mission: ---

    I was supposed to head out and try on new outfits. The issue is, I do not have enough disposable income right now (I'm a student) to buy anything, so I decided to just skip it.

    The other part was to go through the grooming checklist and pick at least one thing I want to do, and add to my habits (I guess). I selected the following:
    - Remove excess hair. I do this already, to some extent, but not regularly.
    - Whiten your teeth. Been meaning to do this for years (tobacco sucks) but never got around to it.
    - Freshen your teeth. Start flossing, carry mints and gum at all times.
    - Accessorize. Or at least, considering it. I could use a watch and a necklace at the very least.

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    Right. Talked to a friend of mine who, after some discussion, offered to do the challenge along with me if I agreed to start over from day 1. Seeing as I just completed day 6, it'll set me back less than a week and the moral support is (to me) priceless. I agreed, obviously, so starting tomorrow I'll be back to day 1. Won't be making daily updates whilst I'm repeating missions - it seems a bit redundant - so probably just one longer post once I catch up. Unless anything changes, I'll be back on friday.

    Cheers,
    dWed

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    I respect you for trying to get your life in order! Keep up the work and don't start! Push out that comfort zone a bit.

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    That's awesome your friend is helping out...it's a huge help to have a wingman to push you a bit more. Glad my words of wisdom could help ;-). Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm right where you are in the challenge.

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    Right, time for an update I think. Was supposed to do day 6 today (saturday) but ended up being stuck with visiting relatives. Will do this tomorrow, then day 7 on sunday.

    (Not overly detailed. Writing this at 3.30am, drunk and with a nasty headache. Blargh.)

    Day 1 - Make small talk with 5 strangers

    Did it all on my way to work. Easy. Forgot details, but eh.

    Day 2 - Make small talk with 5 strangers and record their eye color

    #1 and #2, Green and Blue - They looked kinda lost (looking at a map and semi-arguing). Went up and asked if they needed some help. Gave some directions and chatted about the city for a while.

    #3, Blue - Don't remember details.

    Ran out of time because I spent too much time talking to the tourists (#1 and #2). Figured I'd just do the rest on my way home from work but ended up with a headache and just being too darn tired to actually do anything. Talked to my friend about it (the one who's doing the challenge with me) and he said it was OK, so no need to repeat it. Woo!

    Day 3 - Call 5 random numbers and try to get movie recommendations

    Didn't do this. Had to work graveyard (19.00 - 05.00) and had a bunch of other things to catch up on during the day. (I kinda feel like this has to be done in the evening because no one is home during the day. In hindsight, that makes no sense.) Did all the other things though. No repeating because I did this in the past.

    Day 4 - Ask and recieve clothing store recommendations

    Asked one girl on my way home after working all night. It was like 6am, I was exhausted and looked like I could sleep for a year. To top it off, I didn't shower after work and hadn't shaved in like 2 days. (Day 3 involved ignoring personal hygiene. I cut a few corners because duh, I have to at least look presentable while I'm at work.) The look on her face was priceless, essentially "so this is how I die.." Managed to seem somewhat normal after exchanging a few words, but no recommendation.

    Asked two more on my way to work in the evening, and got two different recommendations.

    Day 5 - Buy new clothes and adopt new habits

    Again, I don't have enough income to just change my wardrobe on a whim. Will keep some of the mentioned tips in mind when shopping for new clothes, but for now I'll stick to what I have.

  9. #19
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    dWed,

    When you have AA, remind yourself that the first set doesn't count. You're gonna burn it to the ground and so what. Make it a mission to speak your mind and eject.

    Just now:

    Approach one:

    I just did an approach. Girl had such a nice ass in her spandex track pants. And she was walking her dog along the seawalk. I said she was in really great shape and she seemed like an athlete. Turned out she was neither athletic nor artistic.

    Lot more going on here in that span of 2 mins and I had people watching. Opened, qualified on 2 things, ejected. That was my warm-up set.

    - DJ
    :: VANCOUVER CREW ::
    - Identity flips every attraction switch at once.

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    Haven't been around in a while, figured some explaining might be in order.

    I haven't done a damn thing. That friend of mine who was doing the challenge got a job offer on the other side of the country and pretty much had to leave immediately (temporary position, he'll be back in a month). Combine that with moving out in around a week and a half, stressing out over work and having a bunch of stuff to take care of until school starts - I can't be productive under those circumstances.

    However, I'm not giving up. Despite complaining constantly and kicking myself for failing so much, I feel that just getting out of my comfort zone a few times a day made such a huge change in how I view other people and interact with them. Asking a random question to someone on the street? Perfectly fine. Chatting with someone at the busstop? Chances are he/she is as bored as you are and are happy you broke the silence. Complimenting a girl? Hell, chances are you just made her day. I guess what I finally realized is that people aren't going to kill me if I try interacting with them, which is something I've been trying to convince myself for years now. (I mentioned earlier that I've struggled with social anxiety; in just 3 weeks I made more progress than I did in 8 years.) It's like.. Holy shit, I can't wait to keep going with this.

    For now, though, I will be taking a break until things settle down a bit. Need to quit my job, get things in order before school starts, and re-adjust to living with other people. (No more walking around in a bathrobe all day, I guess.) Preliminary date for starting again is august 20th. I'm giving myself some homework to do until then. Starting on monday, every day I will:

    1. Start a conversation with a stranger, or at least attempt to (not everyone is receptive to this). So long as I open my mouth say something, it's fine.
    2. Compliment a girl. Can be a friend, preferably a stranger, not family member. I mentioned before that it used to feel as if people were going to kill me if I tried interacting with them. #1 and #2 are really all about keeping the positive thinking going and not fall back into bad habits. Also - I want to get used to handing out compliments. I'm not terribly stressed out about it, just opening my mouth is the hardest part no matter what, but the whole process feels weird and unusual to me as I've never been known to do it. Hell, before starting the challenge, the only time I told a girl I thought she was cute I was so drunk I couldn't stand straight. Speaking of which; I'm going to stop drinking. It doesn't do anything for me. I'm still shy as hell no matter how much I drink, the only change is that I'm slurring out stupid shit. One beer every once in a while is fine, but that'll be it.
    3. Exercise for 30-60 minutes. If I'm doing cardio, there's no way in hell I'll be able to keep going for more than half an hour. I can't even run a full kilometer. Taking the dog for a walk counts as well; the point is to get out of the house and move around for a bit. Will probably end up doing mostly cardio as I hate going to the gym. Weights aren't my thing, I always preferred good 'ol pushups and such, and I can do that in the garage.
    4. Practice juggling for 30 minutes. I've always wanted to learn how to juggle. Someone said it's a great way to relax (can't worry about work when you're throwing 3 balls around) and that's pretty much it.
    5. Practice playing guitar for 30 minutes. I probably play for a total of 2 hours right now but it's all spread out over the day. 30 minutes of focused practice ought to be better.

    And eh, that'll be all for now. See you in a month or so.

    Cheers,
    dWed

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