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The journey begins, self transformation from an AFC to a successful PUA
WHO I AM AND WHERE I AM FROM
My name is Mirage(real name) and this is my story. I am 22 years and old and grew up in the suburbs of New York City. Even though I grew up in such a urban area, I managed to go to a high school where my graduating class was five! Most of my friends were from this small school and usually hung out with my two best friends. As you can imagine In a high school of 30, it is hard to chase women. Not only cause their weren't any, but because everyone knew your business and drama became part of the everyday routine. I graduated high school early and moved to Florida to pursue a degree in Aerospace Engineering. Here I was, a 17 year old kid, not even old enough to go to a club pushed into a student body which was almost a 1000 times greater than high school. Florida was definitely a change from New York City and quickly realized that the school I went to was over ridden with guys(8 guys to one girl). As freshman year rolled by the only thing i think to myself is how I could be possibly plagued by going to a place where there were more squirrels than girls. Freshman year turned into sophomore year and I decided I had enough of this shit, and decided to move to Paris for a year with my best friend. In Paris, there were an abundance of women, but because I was not used to having an abundance of women around me, I choked. I went for the first girl that payed me any attention. I was 19, living in Paris, traveling around Europe and hung up on this one girl. I still enjoyed life, and traveled a lot. I became fluent in French and also finished a Masters in Aerospace Engineering in France so time was not wasted.
I know I'm rambling, so lets fast forward..........
I eventually end up moving back to Florida to finish up yet another Masters. Here is where the problem starts. I was happy being on my own, I was happy with who I was and just being around friends. I didn't need no woman, until I met the devil herself. We dated for a year and through out that year I became an AFC. Holy shit did I lose my manhood. Every personal boundary I ever had, I destroyed for this little demon. I was completely walked over and taken advantage of. The sex was good and I thought I was in love so I put up with it. I end up moving back to France for the past 6 months(August 2011-January2012) and continued a LDR. At least from what I thought. Found out she met someone else and been seeing this guy and she lied about it the whole time. So what do I do? I forgive her on the spot and try to make it work! WTF? I come back to the US and I try to make it work with her while shes juggling me and this other kid. She eventually says she wants to marry me but will never stop seeing this other guy even though she claims to like him as a friend. I put up with it until about a couple days ago. She loved to put me down and I let her do it, but this was the last straw. I finally sprayed some miracle grow on my balls and told the evil B*tch to get lost. I stopped talking to her and I feel fantastic!
You guys are probably wondering WTF is this kid talking about. My best friend introduced me into the world of PUA while I was dating my ex. I brushed it off thinking it was a scam. About 4-5 months ago when I found out she cheated, I started reading. I realized that I have become someone who lets women control and define who I was. I wanted this part of my life handled. I was sick of dating women who had interest in me without making sure they weren't psychotic. I wanted to become fantastic with women. I am a very great looking guy and god dammit its about time to embrace my youth and become successful with women.
How this journal will work.
Each post will consist of two comments. I will post about my inner game. Here I will comment on my progress internally. Figuring out who I am, becoming comfortable with who I am, and defining myself. I will post about how I combat negative thoughts and how I set up and reinforce my boundaries. I will make posts such that others who realize their inner game is lacking to relate and try to help themselves.
I will then post about outer game. This is my journey as an aspiring PUA. You guys know what this consists of, so I don't need to explain this.
Thank you for reading. We are all here because this is more than just diving into some vag. We are here because we want to become better people and improve an aspect of life. Welcome to my journey
Here goes nothing for my first report. Today started out like a normal day. I've been feeling down for the last couple of days thinking about my ex. Talk about one-itis. Slowly realizing it gets better and nothing to worry about. Doing this by talking to friends and following the no contact rule. For all you other guys out there who may be hung up on an ex, try writing down all her faults and everything shes done wrong to you on a note card and pull that out every time you think about her. Eventually, you can condition yourself to associate negative thoughts about her and will help you stop fantasizing how great she was.
I have been on this online dating stuff. I havn't had too much time to go out. Being busy with my masters, and my own company its hard to go out. I met this girl on Okcupid and yesterday was date 2. This girl was def. into me since we were making out on date one and ever since shes txting me as soon as she can to ask how my day is going. Of course this feels good, but she is 27 which is 5 years older than I am and not my body type. I am very fit and expect my woman to be also. We mess around in my room for a little and the date ends. Feeling on a high point, I go out last night with a friend who recently found out his gf was living a double life. We both rode our motorcycles to a local bar and just hung out. When I walked into the place, I didn't walk in with confidence. I didn't open any sets on the way in and people barely noticed I had walked into the bar. I walked straight to the bartender who I knew pretty well and said hey. He knows what I drink and served me asap. After getting my drink, I noticed quite a few HBs, but I was with a friend and didn't know if he was in the same mindset as I was. I didn't know if he wanted to open up any sets and so I dropped it. I didn't open any and just rode home. (this is fine by me since I enjoy being out and being there for my friend who was down).
Just posting to let you know I'm looking forward to reading more about your progress! Keep it coming, still early days..
keep em coming!
Inner Game So this post actually covers part of yesterday since I made this thread a day behind if you will. Yesterday was a crappy day for me. I went to work and just wasn't in the right mindset. I wasn't feeling confident about being there in that moment in time. I was thinking back to the days of my ex and now that we don't talk anymore I was getting down on myself. During the whole issue with her, she convinced me that her cheating and treating me like crap was actually my fault. Ever since then, I've been wondering how I could have caused all that. This effected me through out the whole day and didn't really do anything very productive during the day time.Another big issue I deal with is jealousy. I would get jealous at the thought of her being with another guy. I love these challenges and I'm glad to be feeling these emotions. My goal in life is to be not only successful with woman, but also successful with people in general and mastering my ability with controlling these emotions is my main concern. I started thinking about my friends and how there are 2.4 billion woman in this world. I'm 22 years old with a very ambitious future ahead of me so I don't need a woman to define who I am. My success with women isn't the only significant thing in my life, but it sure is nice to know that one day I will be picking my girlfriend. I won't just pick the first girl who is interested in me, but rather date around and create an abundance in my life where I have options.
Even though I had a bad day doesn't mean my night went like that. I'm in the process of buying a new house to live in next semester and I went out to meet up with the owner with my roommates. We had dinner and I def. felt like i was portraying beta qualities. When I spoke, I wasn't being assertive and had people talking over me. It didn't phase me too much because I was out with friends, but it did effect me enough to note it here. I want to portray alpha qualities everywhere I go. I have a naturally loud voice, so raising my voice isn't going to make me any better. On the other hand, I did realize that my demeanor and the way I say things has a large impact on people listening. It's very funny how inner game ties into outer game. My lack of confidence on the outside even trickles into the way I talk. After dinner we went out drinking. Went to a biker bar where they had dollar beers. I was def. out of place and the bad part was I let being out of place affect me. I slid back into being upset about my ex. This roller coaster of being okay then thinking about her, in my opinion comes from needing female companions in my life. My friends quickly got me out of it and we ended up going out to somewhere more my scene. I get there on my bike and open this one set. She is just rambling and hating on guys. I tried negging her by saying, "hey thats not fair! Girls are just as bad, I dont trust anything that bleeds for 7 days straight and is still alive" she got very offended by this. I didn't care much, and actually meant it in a mean manner since I'm sick of stuck up girls. We then go out to a club. I walk in there and talk to the bartender I know. I then walk around with a friend, and he goes and opens a set. I walk ahead and then after hes been talking for a little I chime in, but this time by the time I got there he has already blown out of the set and I knew that. At this time, I was positioned at the bar next to the set he was talking to. I then decide to order a drink and not say anything. I make eye contact smile and then slowly shift my head back towards the bar. The conversation follows as such (she opens me btw):
HB: "hey whats your name?"
Me: "Mirage and no I am not a male stripper"
HB:she laughs and proceeds to say "oh I would have guessed porn star"
Me: "Oh so you watch a lot of porn? Having guy problems?"
HB; "I've seen a couple and your have pornstar eyes."
Me: "wtf" i just looked puzzled and kinda froze her out a bit "what does that even mean"
HB: "you have dark sexy eyes"
after this I got my drink and I walked away saying have a good night. My friend opened another set and we didn't seem to get out of attraction. I then open a 2 set
ME: "hey can I borrow your lighter"
HB1: "I dont have one but you can use my cigarette" (she keeps the cigarette in her mouth)
ME: I make eye contact with her the entire time and light my cigarette
ME: "where are you guys from"
HB2: "colorado as well"
ME: "what brings you to florida? can't handle the cold anymore?"
hB1: "I moved a half hour south of here"
HB2" i moved here to be closer to family"
shot girl then comes by and we waive her off
hb1" that shot girl was ugly"
ME: "well now that i know you're a nice person well get along very well"
HB1: laughs " I'm not mean! I just say the truth"
HB1 then leaves me with hB2
HB2 and i talk about colorado and she says shes moving back because she doesnt have to many friends around here. I told her I would hang out with her and she should give me her number. i got her number and then left. I went to the dance floor and just startted having fun. I saw the first girl that opened me and she immediately starts grinding on me. i also met another girl I randomly high fived in the club and she pulled me aside and wanted to dance with me as well. as the nigh goes on, the girl i got the number from started dancing with me also.
All in all successful night. AA is becoming a thing of the past and im having girls qualify themselves to me.
So I havnt updated this thing in a couple days due to the fact I've been going out like crazy. Tomorrow is Sunday and will recap the weekend for you guys! Some good updates to come since I opene a lot this weekend so far
Man I have a lot of updating to do, but I will just recap the weekend
I went out all weekend and I partied hard. I was just feeling good about myself and I hadn't talked to my ex for a week now and I finally felt I was letting go. This attitude held over great for the entire weekend. I went out to the clubs and opened up numerous sets. I scored numbers and genuinely enjoyed being out. I wasn't so worried about ONSs since those aren't my thing regardless but for me going out and talking to strangers was enough. All in all a good weekend.
Today started off to a great day. I just felt good about being who I was and I was keeping very busy. I realized that being 22 years old with my own company and having to finish my masters I'm way to busy for a girlfriend. I liked the fact I was going to be okay by myself. Tonight after the gym I had to run to the lab and print something off. This is where things got strange. I ran into my ex and her boy toy. I'm not going to lie I am down. I guess it still sucks seeing that. I hope a night full of sleep will fix that one.
i'm in the same boat as you man, broke it off with my ex for a week now. its definately getting better but when you go to places that you and your ex as gone exclusively the thoughts come back. I try to stay positive (Easier said than done) and just think of a woman that is out there who would appreciate you for who you are. I'm trying to get back into this daygame thing myself since i've stopped ever since i dated her.
J_lacks, I know it's hard, but I have been meeting so many new women and it feels good to know the girl you are letting go isn't the only girl out there for you. I know what you mean about staying positive, it is hard! I wrote down on an index card everything bad about her and everytime I think about her I look at that card(sort of conditioning). You are roughly the same age as I am(22) and man there are so many women out there it isn't even funny. Try to think of this as a time to make yourself better too. For example, I realized that I put up with so much second class behavior just because I thought she was the one. The minute you think you don't have options you fall into wanting to talk to your ex. Remember YOU should be in a position where you choose your next girlfriend out of many options. rather than finding a girl that shows interest in you. You don't need a woman to appreciate you for you are. You don't need that validation. You validate yourself. My new opinion on a relationship is that you find someone who fits into your life that is already established. I will not get into another relationship until I realize that I even if I never get married, I am happy being me and comfortable with myself. I am working to get to the point where this PUA thing is just a skill set rather than something to fill a void.
LAST THING!!! NO CONTACT BRO! I DONT WANT TO HEAR YOU TXTED HER. This is crucial! Even if she has half of your shit, dont contact her.
I wanna help other people as much as I can. If you feel like youre gonna txt your ex, message me your number and txt me and ill talk you out of it. I cant stress this enough that no contact is the key!
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