The Path To Enlightenment by Ammo
Discuss The Path To Enlightenment by Ammo at the Field Reports within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; So i've been doing online dating since yesterday and I've been talking to a few ...
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- 09-05-2011, 02:37 PM #11
So i've been doing online dating since yesterday and I've been talking to a few girls already, it's been fun.
I'm having a bit of an dilemma though: I want to move out of my parents house BUT I'm stuck on where I should go. I'm going to school in a city that is perfect for game, just perfect, if I move there i'm going to become a huge pimp but I also really like the sport i've been practicing and I know for a fact that I can also do good there.
Now the problem is to do this sport it would be better to stay in this city and live with a few friends (but in a way less good place to go out) OR I could go to the city where I go to school, enjoy girls as much as I can and just study and do sports for fun. This is a really hard one for me, any tips?
- 09-11-2011, 03:38 AM #12
I have to great nights of going out to report, kind of don't know where to start.
First off i've been doing online gaming but really inconsistently so I didn't really achieve anything. I'm going to do it for real though, does anyone have any great websites to try out?
Great great night, I opened many sets had a few fb closes and the most important thing is that we had a LOT of fun. I was with one friend and later on 2 of my other friends joined me. Me and my first friend were playing a 30 second game (RSD style) where he thought of an opener for me and if I didn't open a set with the opener in 30 seconds he'd punch me (not in the face though) and of course the other way around.
I opened a(walking 3set outside early in the evening saying that I thought she was fucking sexy and I had to meet her. The girl was pretty sexy so it wasn't that hard, I didn't really have any approach anxiety it was great. Got blown out of the set pretty quick even though the opener didn't fail to kind of hook the set but it was because my friend was really REALLY heavily escalating and it was too much for the girls. Too bad.
Later on in the night me and my friends opened countless sets and as I said I had a few number closes. Now that my AA is getting less and less I try to open more difficult sets, for example sets that are seated in between other tables and are very hard to reach or just walk inside somewhere just to open the girl and make it very obvious (and because i'm not getting nervous the girls are accepting everything it's beautiful).
Next we went into a little bar where I was trying some sexual presence walking around the venue (cajun style) and a girl grabbed my ass. I started talking and negging her and her group and I eventually got to isolate her hot friend. Can't really remember what I said because I opened so many sets but it felt really well and once again I used the emotional progression model. After taking her hand to show her 'something cool' and I walked a few feet away from her friends I ran the cube on her and kiss closed her afterwards by asking how good of a kisser she is. I did some sexualization while dancing and the girl was really into me, I took her number and left though because I wanted to continue hanging with my friends (another friend joined us aswell).
We went into the next club where I opened a nice 3 sets but for some reason I wasn't winged. No problem, I started dancing with the girl and spinning her. Then I started talking to her about that I was going to kiss her but her english wasn't that good (she was a tourist) but when I said that she suddenly started saying things like 'you are funny' and 'why?' (by the way her english was pretty horrible and she was a tourist from brazil). I should have just grabbed her and kiss closed because the IOI's were there, I was having a lot of kino and the girl kino'ed me a lot aswell. After being delayed by this backwards pull they had to leave and I just fb closed and opened some more.
There were no real memorizable sets after this, only a number close with another girl I opened.
I'm very pleased with the way this is going, I literally can't remember how I opened and transitioned all these girl BUT they DID respond. I did use the emotional progression model but i'm not dependent on routines.
Wow, this night so many things happened, it all started off with meeting 10 PUA's (or something) from a dutch forum which was great. There were a lot of different levels and even though I found that a lot of them are still in the phase where they need to learn how and to just open I still found a few good new wingmen. Again, I opened a LOT of sets
A important sets:
- Direct number close: me and all the guys were waiting (for me to give the sign) to go to the club and then I saw a girl walking by. This girl was extremely hot, she was wearing a nice short skirt and she was exactly my type (HB9 for sure). I ran towards her and just told her I found her really hot and I had to meet her, 'There is just something about you' I told her. First she was a little hesitant to give her number when I first asked (which was like 2 minutes in because all the guys were waiting for me) so I did some more attraction building (no routines but just being a fun guy) and then she easily gave me her number (and she's responding well to text game). I then hugged and kissed her (on the cheek) and left, I REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS GIRL AGAIN!!
- In a bar a 5 set was seated and I opened them by saying it looked like a lot of fun with them from the outside (they were seated near a window). In this set I did a LOT of cold reading and guessing things about them and I got nearly everything right (yeah, i'm into psychology). They were all eating it and the buying temperature of these girls went through the roof. Then, my friends wanted to leave the club so I left the girls and took one of their numbers and all of their fb's.
- There also was a 2 set in a club that I had a great conversation with, I eventually got their face books and moved on.
I opened many more sets but because I was with all these guys it was really hard to follow-up. Next time I want to focus on closing some girls again (goals: 2 kiss closes on one night OR an SNL). This night was fun though, I stayed out way later then I normally would and it was totally worth it, it may have been one of the most fun nights out I ever had. Afterwards when I was driving home with 2 of the guys we had a great conversation, I feel we can all help each other and it feels great to talk with people about things that I was really ashamed about even less then a year ago (for example: that my ex cheated on me). Innergame is heavily improving guys, this journey is worth all the trouble!
- 09-11-2011, 11:44 PM #13
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Hey man. Really enjoy reading your posts.
- 09-15-2011, 03:04 PM #14
@ Ryality, thanks bro
My dudes, this week was a very busy on and I haven't really gamed (I actually did a little day game where I fb-closed 1 girl but there wasn't too much action going on). BUT I did do a lot of good text and phone game and I actually have 2 dates this weekend. One is tomorrow with the girl I did a direct approach on last week and the other one is with the girl I wanted to bathroom pull. I'm hoping for at least a kiss close for the directapproachgirl and an f-close for the bathroompullgirl.
Ofcourse that will not be all and I'm still going out tomorrow and saturday!
I hope that I have some good stories for you guys this weekend
- 09-16-2011, 06:43 PM #15
Tonight I write to you guys with shame and a little bit of pride, now you probably ask yourself "why the hell both?". Calm the fuck down, breath and let me explain my brother!
I basically screwed up both dates.
Yeah I did...
Date 1, the date with the girl I direct approached this saturday actually went perfectly. I met her at the tram station and we went to the marketplace to check out some shops. We had a lot of fun with role-playing, framing and just fooling around. I was building kino with hugs, holding hands, ect. THEN the moment came when I said 'let's go' and I took her to a place where I could logistically fuck her.
BUT because I'm SO stupid I didn't tell her anything about it (I wanted to be alpha and just tell her to show up and nothing more) so when we went there she had a major state break to the point where I think it screwed up the kiss close. We were sitting on the roof of my friends house (where I took her to have some privacy) and I did some fun games (truthgame, cube) after which I asked her 'between 1-10 how good of are kisser are you?' and she responded with 'I really don't know, but i'm not kissing guys this fast so don't try it'. This BROKE me, literally, I didn't know what to do anymore. I thought I was going to try at least 3 times to kiss her but I actually didn't even try ONCE.
Luckily I did got my composure back again and I still had some fun with her by going to a church and scouting the place. We then said our goodness and I went to dinner with my friends before going out.
Date 2, by the way was over before it started, this girl (HB7) is not hot enough for me to meet her and then NOT fuck her. SO I thought I was being smart by heavily sexualizing and I was if it wasn't for the fact that she didn't understand any of it. I don't know how someone can be this stupid, she was literally telling me 'huh I never called you to smooth talk you" SHE DIDN'T GET IT. This was kinda frustrating so I escalated further until she was acting all weird like 'huh I didn't know this was the reason you wanted to hang out'. This girl was all over my cock when we met and she asked me to come over because her parents are gone and now she's acting like this. FUCK THIS, I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT IN MY LIFE. I'm not responding to her anymore (she has send me 4 messages and then she told me 'if you're not gonna respond, never mind'). FINE.
- Don't over sexualize
- Trust that the f-close will happen DO NOT NEED comfirmation
- Do not use a stupid k-close routine, just kiss the fucking girl
- When you're with a girl for the first time most of the times tell her where you are going especially if it involves a place you could have sex. It can cause a serious state brake.
- Go for the kiss close whenever however wherever (I think I could've kiss closed earlier, before I went to my friends house, BUT I was being a wuss by thinking I better get privacy first, FUCK THAT).
Now if you guys think that i'm being stubborn, trust me, I am. I need to F-close by using cold approach man, not because I'm sexually frustrated but because it's just the right time for it.
I've been out tonight and i'm going out tomorrow, i'll post a field report on that when i'm less tired guys, over here it's very late at night.
- 09-17-2011, 06:20 AM #16
Haha about the second date I had planned, LOL. I'll show you guys the last few text messages just for fun.
HB7: What are we going to do tomorrow?
Me: I don't know what there is to do in the 'place without a name' *meaning her small village*
HB7: Oh, are we going there, I thought we were going to Amsterdam, and don't be harsh!
Me: Amsterdam? you were talking about a house without parents and we're trying to have phonesex with me last week.
HB7: Haha, what? Phonesex? I have never even called you xD and my parents are gone around 5.
Me: So you are smooth talking me for nothing
HB7: No, I didn't even know that this was the reason you wanted to hang out
Me: This? you were literally asking me if I wanted to come by because you're parents were gone. I don't know what you are trying to do BUT i'm still innocent AND a virgin.
HB7: Okay, well I was only trying to say that I have all the time, but we don't have to meet up if you don't want to.
*You see, this girl has no humor what-so-ever*
Me: Damn, you have no humor whatsoever
HB7: Haha, I have a lot of humor but I don't get it through texting
Me: *no response*
HB7: I wasn't mad or anything
Me: *no response*
HB7: Don't be mad
Me: *no response*
HB7: (on whatsapp) Hey! I didn't know you had whatsapp
Me: *no response*
HB7: Well if you're not going to respond, then never mind
*She's trying to get control of the conversation but when she texted me this, my other date was going bad so now I was completely done with this fucking girl*
Me: *no response*
So today she texted me this:
HB7: I don't know if you still wanted to meet up but I rather won't talk to you later.
Hahahaha, she's trying to game me really hard, i'm wondering if this girl is into PUA-ing. This text message is sort of raising her value because she's switching our roles. I'm not down for this shit though so my response was:
Me: *no response*
Have a good one guys! Tomorrow I'll report yesterday's and today's infield experiences.
Edit: *no response* means that I didn't respond, not that I texted her "no response"!
- 09-18-2011, 10:51 AM #17
Yeah, had 2 nice nights this weekend but first off i'd like to share something with you guys that I just found on my FB.
The girl that I wrote a field report about last week (the one that I wanted to kiss close after I kiss closed another girl at another bar) that I thought of as a bit of a failure had sent me this message on FB the same night (but for some reason I just saw it today):
"Hi, how are you? my friends were sleeping in the hostel, then I came back to the bar to stay with you and you weren´t, I spoke with his friend, I asked to call you, but he said that didn´t your number "
Which means she came to see me in the club and I could've definitely escalated more.
Now let's get down to the real business:
* From now on i'm going to nickname my wings to improve the readability of my stories
This night started off pretty messed up actually, I was really down from the date that went wrong and yeah I just wasn't feeling that well. BUT ofcourse game can change the course of any night. I told my friends during dinner that I wanted them to push me to do crazy sets because I was feeling like pushing myself to the limits.
Assignment "Sit down with 2 girls that are having dinner at a restaurant table". I went over there, told them they looked great and I wanted to meet them, sat down and got told that they wanted some privacy with their dinner. Ofcourse I pushed it for a bit but I eventually left without causing a scene and I was warm in an instant.
After that sets just got very blurry, the most important thing that happened is that I met the girl I dated that day at a club. I did little takeaways and was just having fun with my friends and she actually saw me talking with 2 other sets (which I number closed). Don't know if this was a good or a bad thing, she's not responding that well to my texts anymore but i'm going to push it!
There were some other sets in which I winged for a bit , but because we were with 4 guys it wasn't clear sometimes who should wing who so in the confusion we lost a few sets. This made us realize that we need some more rules for winging.
I got pushed into a set that was taking pictures with firefighters, assignment: "tell the girl in red that you saw her taking pictures with the firefighters and go direct". The girl in red was a cutie while her girlfriends were pretty ugly, I came in the middle of the picture taking and just told the girl in red "I saw these guys taking a picture with you and I had to come talk to you". Haha, this was great, the firefighters were all like 'what the fuck' and I some were laughing. I got blown out of the set pretty quick but it's just about doing things that I used to label as "IMPOSSIBLE".
Got some more numbers and called it a night, i'm literally drowning in numbers, i'm already deleting some of them because there is no way I can follow them all up. I think i'm going to work on 3-5 girls at the time, no crazy texting to more girls than that because it'll get me burned-out.
Night 2 (yesterday night):
This night was fun, I told my brother (Bobo) who hasn't done any game yet to come with me and open some sets. He took one of his friends (Lerro) with him and I had 3 other guys meeting us. First off MysticPUA came to pick us up and when we came to the place that we wanted to go out we couldn't park our car. So me and my brother's friend got out of the car to find our wings Instantdater and Touristlover.
When we found these guys we started warming up. I opened a set and sent the guys into some sets by themselves, just warming up, nothing special. Before I knew me and Lerro were walking into a club and I went into a 5 set of good-looking girls. I thought Lerro was going to wing me but he was suddenly gone, no problem, I told the girls that they were having a birthday and we started singing for one of them (this was great haha). I isolated one of them for a bit, got to comfort in the emotional progression model and then nr-closed to find Lerro (this is a pretty solid number and a cute girl HB8,5 so i'm going to go for a date).
When Bobo and Mystic joined us we went to get something to eat and we went to another square. I gave the guys a few assignments to open girls. For example a fun one was when I told my brother to open a 2 set while I was walking with him and ask them if they've ever been with 2 brothers. They didn't really understand so I made it clear for them and told them it was hot, they ran off haha.
The guys did some more sets and when we got to the square I opened a seated 2 set outside of a bar, nothing special besides a good conversation and then we went to a new club. I quickly opened every set in the club (it was a pretty small one) and left everywhere so I could come back any time (which I regularly did).
Eventually I landed with a 2 set of one cute girl HB8 and one less cute girl (almost thought she was her mother) HB6. I started talking to the girls and danced a little with them. I quickly went to the emotional progression model with the cute one and did a lot of touching while dancing. When I went for the first kiss close she turned her cheek!!!!
NOOOOOOOOO, not this shit again, FUCK fuck FUCK kiss closing.
Naah, I stayed clear, went back to a little more qualifying and did more kino building and she started asking me questions now "how old are you", "where are you from" which I took as major IOI's. I was waiting for the good moment to kiss close while dancing but she wasn't looking me in the eyes while I wanted to do an eye contact thing. So I told her "look me in the eyes" and when she finally did there was a magic moment, literally we just got closer and closer and we started making out.
It was a lot of fun and this girl actually got me a little lovestond, I got really disoriented while I was kissing her and I was touching her private parts. I felt this was the good moment to introduce some heavy sexualization so I told her "If it weren't for all this people I would throw you on the table and rip your clothes off", "you're crazy" she told me as I smashed her into the table a bit. In the end I couldn't take her to her hotel room because I couldn't really leave my friends and the girls wanted to go out some more with us first (note: I wasn't properly winged until the very end). The girls told me to come visit them and I told them to come back to the City when I live there (WHICH WILL BE IN A MONTH). Doesn't matter, I just enjoyed to process a lot and the F-closes will come!
- I have to really use the love systems triad some more, I really like the way that they describe kino and logistics while you are moving through the emotional progression model.
- I need to go out with just a few friends and they should be PUA, going out with my own friends is OK but I shouldn't aspect any SNL (Same night lay's) from that.
- I'm going to use little routines but i'm going to try a few, for this reason every time when i'm going out on friday I want to try 2 new routines of a phase in the emotional progression model that I think needs more work.
- MOVE to the city where you are going out SNL's need logistics.
- 09-23-2011, 08:10 AM #18
So, you must have all be wondering "what the hell is going on" as soon as you read the title. It depends on what you are expecting but I think I am going to disappoint because I didn't get a free one with a prostitute.
First off, yesterday was a really busy day for me, I went to school early then did a lot of school work and in the evening I had to work (I have a new job at a gym, which hopefully will allow me to move to the big city) and after that I went out to party.
Even though I was already freaking tired I did some partying and did a few good sets. I was trying to be really melodramatic/romantic and so I was. I saw 2 cuties (HB8,5 and HB8) sitting on a bench outside so I went over there and I told them "when the ambulance came by (it just drove past) it came for me because I saw you guys sitting here and I lost consciousness". This was great, I was doing it to get blown out just to get warm but the set actually hooked, I love to discover the limits myself instead of determine them by 'thinking logically'.
Anyways, the set went well and Mystic came to wing me, the fun thing was that I was acting totally weird with these girls and Mystic was acting a bit like a AFC (asking all sorts of questions). So when the girls asked me to guess what they are studying (and I had 3 tries), I asked whether I had to sleep with them when I would get it wrong because i'm not like that and Mystic actually was guessing and asking them questions in return. I joined in and guessed that they were studying pet-health (or whatever) on the third try while I didn't even know that the study existed (this was crazy by the way. In the end I was on the phone with the other guys we were meeting up with (Frozenballs, Invisible and Ocean) and they kind of sneaked away, haha.
We went into the club, opened a few sets, a few ones hooked and a few sets didn't, nothing special I was just enjoying myself and because I had a backpack I put in in front of me instead of on my back and I walked over to girls and told them I had to come talk to them because my belly wanted me to. These sets also hooked, I still can't believe it.
Another set that stood out was a girl that was waiting for the bathroom while I opened her directly. She asked my name, I told her my name and she heard 'Igor' (WTF!?) so I made fun of her. Did some qualifying and then she had to go to the bathroom so while she was in there I opened another set in front of the bathroom and when she got out she told me 'wow, you know how to wait for someone' (or whatever, I can't really remember). I talked for a bit with her, took her Facebook (she said she never gives her number away but she would respond on FB, whatever) and then some friend of hers came in (a guy friend) and he tried to cockblock me by telling me different names for him when I introduced myself. This was disrespectful so I told her she had a crazy friend and I went away after giving her a hug and a cheek kiss.
After this we opened some other sets but nothing worth mentioning, I tried some 'qualifying openers' by starting of with a qualifyer which actually works once in a while and got a few Facebooks though.
I think the problem is that I'm going out with to many people and I want to stay with the guys. I have to stay in sets and escalate, escalate and escalate more!
What the hell, I completely forgot the prostitute part. When we were walking back to the car, for some reason Mystic wanted to walk past prostitutes, I really wanted to go home but whatever. So when we were walking past the prostitute windows we pushed Mystic to open a prostitute by asking her if he had seen her in the city this morning or if it was her twin. He had a short conversation with her and then got blown out because he didn't want to pay.
When he walked back to us the guys started pushing me to re-open her, I told them I would if we could go home after that so I went in. Approach Anxiety, wow, it's hard to imagine that when you're going to open a prostitute directly that you would have AA but it was there suddenly. I'm experienced enough now to ignore the shit out of it so I knocked on her window and she opened it for me. "I send my friend over because I wanted to know if you were down to meeting people outside of this", I told her. This girl was a true russian slutty beauty (HB9) and I told her I wanted to meet her for real. She told me "Do you want to come in?", and then she added "For personal it's 50", which is about the price of a BJ. So I told her I didn't want to spend money on her but take her on a real date. She asked "Do you want marriage of me" and I responded with "Ofcourse I want marriage of you", which was insanely stupid. I should have said "wow you are really forward" but too bad, I got blown out, she closed the door in my face. Walked back to my friends and I had earned myself a ride back home, thanks guys.
- 09-23-2011, 01:17 PM #19
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- Miami, Florida / Huntsville, Alabama
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- 09-25-2011, 03:42 PM #20
I'm a little late with posting my field report covering this Friday so here it is. The main theme of this field report is 'Happiness'. Something that happened in field brought me an intense sense of happiness and that's exactly what i'm pursuing.
Now before I'm going to make you guys all excited, I did not f- or even kiss-close so relax.
I met up with 2 of my wings (Mastermind and H-bomb, i'm making these names up as I write) around 9 o' clock and before we started sarging me and Mastermind (who is my teacher in a way) had a good conversation about my progress. He told be he was pleased with the way I am progressing and we talked about how i'm going to progress the next few months.
I'm going to focus on getting a lot of dates and work on f-closing the dates before i'm going to focus on SNL (same night lay's). Also i'm going to work on my escalation, especially my logistical escalation has been lacking and I'm going to try to move my set in about 3-10 minutes in from now on.
Then we started looking for a good place to sarge, we decided we we're going to another square and we went to a somewhat fancy bar there. This bar has quality woman BUT they are less receptive for people talking to them so we had to be more 'careful'.
We started off when Mastermind opened a set indirectly and within a few minutes I went in and asked if the girls were any fun. This set was a beautiful example of game because first the girl I was talking to was completely non-reactive to what I was saying. But as I progressed and did more attraction routines and proved myself to be 'just a fun guy', her body language completely changed and she started turning and leaning into.
*Then H-bomb came into the set* he started talking to the set which was fine by me because he was making his entrance and i'm not a hater at all. I excused myself for a bit because I didn't want Mastermind winged by 2 guys because that proved ineffective a few times so I started opening sets by myself.
Actually the first set I opened hooked and I was in the set pretty long. It was going great BUT I was not progressing enough logistically and also I was also lacking kino-wise. Mastermind came from nowhere to wing me and he started massively sexualizing the set which was pretty fun and I didn't really care when the set had enough and refused to bounce with him. I took their face books and left with Mastermind but when we walked outside we noticed that H-bomb was gone.
*By the way it's worth noticing that I saw one of the girlfriends of our friends and had a short conversation with her in which she told me that her girlfriend (I opened a 3 set 2 months ago from which my friend is now having fun) and she had been talking about double-dating me and my friend. I laughed and told her that it was pretty forward of them, haha.*
We gave H-bomb a call and he had left by himself because he was having inner game issues. Too bad, he's a great guy but he's ruining things for himself. Me and Mastermind opened a few more sets outside of the bar, a few direct and a few indirect of which one of the most important ones was a set where I was talking outside with and escalating fast on a cute girl from Finland. This was a lot of fun because Mastermind was isolating us by having his back towards us and standing in between us and her girlfriends.
I was making fun of this girl and negging her a bit, actually I did this to a point where I need to look her in the eyes and tell her I liked her and that that was the reason why I had started talking to her. I think this scared her of a bit because she had a boyfriend but I still got the Facebook when her friends were cockblocking and pulling her away.
Another fun set was a set of 2 35-year old MILFS that Mastermind knew. When we realized that they thought of us as too young I started sexualizing massively and telling them I wanted a threesome with them, ect. Then we framed them as if they started talking to us to abduct us and rape us, haha. Fun experience, nothing else.
In another set I had to do some AMOG-ing because I'm done with guys (especially guys working at bars or clubs) that are trying to talk too long to my set while i'm trying to have a conversation with the girls. This guy who knew one of the girls we were talking to and was working at the bar we were at was talking to the girls too long once again. So I started asking him questions like "Hey, I know you", "Yeah, your name is blabla" and I didn't give him a break until he started walking away saying something like "you need some sleep". For me I think this is a great way to get rid of these fucking guys that are trying to block me so i'm going to keep using this one.
After I said my goodbye to Mastermind I went to another club (for the last half hour before I had to catch my train) by myself because my friend was organizing a latin party there. I met up with 3 girls that I had put up the guess list of which one of the friend of one of the girlfriends of my friend (damn, it's way easier than it looks, i'm going to call her HB-L).
This was a weird moment for me, I saw HB-L with her 2 girlfriends standing in the line talking to a big group of americans and I actually got pretty nervous. I was delaying going in the set by having a call with Instantdater but when I hung up the phone I HAD to go in. As soon as I was walking towards them the nervousness was leaving my body and I felt completely relaxed. It just felt like I belong there and it was MY club.
I grabbed her shoulder like I knew her for years and started talking to her and the girls, I made friends with the Americans they were with and actually took one of their Facebooks because he was a really cool guy. I teased HB-L for a bit and told her friends they had to impress me if they wanted to come to my party next time. I took them inside for free and danced with them for a bit, I then left them and opened a few sets (guys, girls and guys that I already knew) and when I came back it felt as if I never left. I was being completely, COMPLETELY accepted and liked by everyone.
Now this feeling isn't that weird for me because I feel like that most of the times that I'm sarging BUT for some reason this was different. I was completely happy, I was completely out of my head, I was just being and that being was enough. For years I thought I have to do better at this, I have to do better at that but it's not true, I just have to accept myself! This is sooooo changing my life, I used to sit home on my own on weekend nights, a bit depressed, watching MMA on my computer but that's not me anymore.
I'm getting to a point where i'm happy with who I am, I actually used to think that I was ugly, well i'm not and even if I am, WHO GIVES A FUCK!? I certainly don't. I used to think I was too fat so I started working out like crazy, I used to be ashamed of my hair being a bit red so I painted my hair for a while, I used to be ashamed of wearing glasses, I used to be ashamed of me only having kissed 2-3 girls and having fucked only one girl since i'm 14 and that girl cheated on my REALLY bad.
GUYS, I don't care anymore, I can't explain how great it feels, it's a huge weight that has been lifted of my shoulders. Oh and about the girl, I had to leave them shortly after that but I know she likes me and even if she doesn't, I like myself, so she will like me and if she won't then I still won't care too much (I will care a bit because I actually like this girl).
Today I had a day without texting girls or even stepping outside of the house or anything, just working on my website and school and chilling out. It was a great day even though I didn't do anything social or physical and this would've gotten me crazy not even 4 months ago.
Oh and by the way, I want to start doing mindfulness I tried to do some meditating a while ago and I still use breathing exercises. I think mindfulness is the next thing for me, just being aware!
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