Becoming A Burning Soul, By Taking a Different Path - Journal
Discuss Becoming A Burning Soul, By Taking a Different Path - Journal at the Field Reports within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; @Orion007: You know, I have been applying the video game metaphor to a lot of ...
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- 08-27-2011, 10:10 PM #11
@Orion007: You know, I have been applying the video game metaphor to a lot of things recently. I know that I cannot level up if I don't get out there and try. Granted I don't get any save games. We all start at level 1. It takes a while to find the good equipment and even longer to find the skills and style you like.
Thanks for the encouragement.
- 09-08-2011, 10:11 PM #12
Calm Before The Con
Calm Before The Con
Right now is the good part of the time before the con. My mind has finally snapped the stress I have been feeling because I have been lazy with my costume. There is nothing left to do but finish it tomorrow. Of course the wig is terrible. Lucky for me I have a wig so I only need to spend $5 on one can of spray on gray color. Anyway, my thoughts turn to the chance that this really is.
An anime convention, where anime fans get together and mingle. For the most part it is a chance for jail bait to get away with wearing... well nothing in public for a couple of days. After all anime girls rarely have modest outfits. It is a place where we all go for... roughly 50 hours of pure anime fun. Normally it involves lack of sleep. Couple that with lack of food and walking all day and you get some loopy people. Lucky for me I found glow things for cheap :P.
However, I am forced to think back to last year when I was alone. I could not talk to anyone, I was terrified of the people around me. I wonder if this year will be different. I am taking some friends with me. However, both are as reclusive as me. So I wonder if I will be able to do any approaching or talking for that matter. It is sad because I have the easiest cheesiest opener and transition for this occasion. Since pictures of cosplay are... well expected. You simply open by asking to take a picture and transition by asking about the costume. However, last year I managed to hide and look for groups of camera people to take pictures. I don't know, it is just kind of stressful.
I am disappointed because I had a burn out last month and did not go out at all. Then this past couple of weeks I have been stressing out about my cosplay. It just sort of spirals out of control. Plus I have no idea which game to use... I mean yes this takes place during the day... however... there are night elements as well. I don't know.... part of me is scared I will hit on a 14-year-old as well.
Anyway, anxiety anxiety... all it does is hold me back.... you would think that a single guy in his mid-20s who is cosplaying would not care what others think... I don't know... hopefully I will have a good report for when I come back.
- 09-10-2011, 04:32 PM #13
Tired and Distracted
Tired and Distracted
So believe it or not I actually managed to talk to some females. The girls in question where about a 10110100. I was one who was approached. The advantage of cosplaying at an anime convention. Girls get super excited when they see guys doing their favorite characters. I am cosplaying as Dr. Stein, for those who care. Anyway, her opener was OMG STEIN CAN I HAVE A HUG!!!!. So I got a hug and then a picture. Then she tried to continue the conversation about cosplaying. We shared very basic talk, mostly yes no and nodding. At the time I had been separated from my group. So I was looking around for them. Around that time my social anxiety kicked in as well, because they were pretty cute. So I was looking for a way out so I could go find them. In the end she said she wanted to get a better picture of me with her camera, not on her at the time. We went our separate ways. The fact that I had been up for about 15 hours... and walking around the con all day.
The lesson I learned was I am still to anxious around girls. Girls at the cons are really trying as well... at least I think they are. I had another girl talk to me in line last year, while waiting in line. Once again, I was sleep deprived and it was early. Both really tried to keep the conversation going... and well anxiety and exhaustion.... keeps me from getting anywhere.
- 09-14-2011, 01:27 PM #14
So recently I have been having random encounters with females... I guess that is why I keep on forgetting to make field reports.
Anyway at my convention I had one more short encounter with a couple of girls during the rave. I say short because I had a hard time making out exactly what they said because we were in the rave. I could tell they were practically screaming based on the motions of their mouths. There was not much that we talked about aside from me giving them hugs. >_> I have a feeling they were talking about my character a bit... but I could not make things out as the trance music drowned them out because they stepped back a little. I had difficulty hearing when I was not in the room with the rave going on.
My second conversation came on Monday. I was waiting for a table at Buffalo Wild Wings. When a girl from Florida came out to smoke. I was still kind of out of it because of my anime convention. However, she started talking to me. Mostly she was talking about the contrasts between my state and her home state. Those are things I try not to comment on. It is hard to know when I am going to offend someone or not. Again I kind of wussed out because I could have talked about my experience with just wanting to travel... but I didn't... I mean she was not that attractive... then again I guess I need the practice with my social skills.
At my convention I thought about approaching some girls. However, I had a hard time figuring out how to make it look spontaneous since they were on the other side of the room, and there were not many people in the Bar. This was during the rave. So my opener would have been something along the lines of "So you 3 look like ravers. Care to explain raver fashion to me?" or "I am trying to figure out why ravers dress they way you guys do". However, like I said I could not find a way to get over to them. Plus my friends were being kind of whiny....
Anyway, that is all for now. This weekend my sister claims she wants to go bar hopping with me... but... I have my doubts.
- 10-03-2011, 01:01 PM #15
So this past weekend I went to my old college for homecoming. At my old college that means you go up and get as drunk as you can on the school. That is one major benefit to having gone to a school called Wasted State. I do have to say that I did a pretty good job of not spending any money either. The friend who came up with me met up with his friends. His friends just kept on buying pitchers and telling everyone to drink up. A couple of times they left half the pitcher and went somewhere else. I think Friday night I went through at least 3 pitchers of beer. Which is where I learned that my AA is not limited to me being sober.
Hmm... I cannot Think Of a Title For This One
I guess my AA went away at the anime convention because I felt I was more... I guess in my domain there. However, at the bar I was really drunk and I still could feel anxiety whenever I wanted to talk to any of the attractive girls there. There were plenty of chances too. One time there was a girl standing at the table next to mine alone. All I had to do was swivel around and say something... I don't know what, but I would just have to say something. Another chance was when some people from a costume party came into the bar. There was a girl who had some body paint on her legs. At minimum I could have just stopped her and looked at her legs.
I was pretty down yesterday. I watched my friend run around talking with random people and flirting with random girls. Yet all I did was sit there and drink the free booze. Hell one night we were hanging out with a group of my friend's friends, and I was told that one of the girls in the group was on the prowl. If I could have worked up the courage to approach her, I could have at least had a positive flirting experience. Too bad my friend had to point out a similarity between me and his fat friend. This chick was REALLY fat too.... I am not a small guy, I weigh 200 lbs. However, this girl had at minimum 80 lbs on me, probably closer to 100 lbs. As she drank more, the harder she came on to me.
When I am pretty sure she was giving out lots of ioi. You know small things at first. She would sit closer to me, she would playfully push me, stuff like that. The as she drank more she said something about how she was the designated slut for the night. Then finally at the end of the night she was talking about making out with me and how she wanted to take me back to her room, but she wasn't that kind of girl. Thank god my friend had gone through that and made sure to get me out of there.
I don't know how to feel about the weekend. I can write it off as a success, because I went out. However, when you sit in a corner drinking and hoping the booze will make your panic attack go away... well... it is hard to call this anything but a failure. I had a real crisis of determination yesterday. However, I think that was just part of my cold and my lack of eating that day. Plus my diet has been horrendous this past month. I think I need to climb back on the wagon now that I have nothing going on.
- 10-03-2011, 03:21 PM #16
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I struggle with this too but c'mon, 50 dollars to your name, that stress will eat anyone alive
dont rely on pickup for your inner game
- 10-04-2011, 02:12 PM #17
I know that I shouldn't make pick up such a big portion of my inner game. However, it is the only place I really lack conference. I am pretty happy with the rest of me. It is just this one portion of me that sucks. It should be something that is natural. I don't know, it is just frustrating when something like this is so hard to do. No matter what I do.
- 10-05-2011, 07:33 PM #18
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I agree and pick up is free or or your paying for cheap alcohol only and it is a skill like any hobby/craft
- 10-05-2011, 09:01 PM #19
@SeductionEnthusiast: True enough, I know in the end it is all about getting out there and doing it. I have no one to blame but myself. I know that, however, venting like that helps me... in many ways.
- 10-13-2011, 09:01 PM #20
So last Saturday, god that was a while ago, I went out with Broodlez and... umm well I don't know his username on here. Anyway, we all went downtown. It was my first real taste of being a part of this world. I have to thank Broodlez for pushing me to go talk to girls. Otherwise I would have just done my usual thing. Have a panick attack and look awkward. Anyway, I had my first real set of sets. Not too many mind you, I only did 3. When you are in a bar and you are fighting off a cold it is very hard to project without knocking crap loose. This was just getting out there and trying so these sets were not too long, nor did I get much past the transition stage... if I got there at all.
My First Sets
So anyway, my opener to the three sets was Do Drunk I Love Yous Count? The answers came back with two Nos and one Yes. The Nos were really loving girls who tell everyone they love them when drunk. My mind generally went blank at this point. Mostly because of my social anxiety. Generally I tried to neg them... at least I think I was negging. I would say they must love me then. Generally though those sets were not going anywhere. I would have a rocky transition. I had an easier time with the Yes. Mainly because we could be a little philosophical about things.
The yes basically said that booze unrestrains your system. You are as honest as you can get when drunk. It was fun discussing that concept and some of the stuff they told me. Mainly because they tended to contradict themselves. However, like usual I ran out of things to say. When that happens I panic and excuse myself.
Either way this was a success for me. I approached more females during that night than I have my entire life. So it was a good confidence booster to see the girls smile and not just blow me off. I am pretty confident that I can go out on my own this weekend and do a few sets as well. I have finally started down the path. Feels good.
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