Discuss A follow up on a holiday close from 2009 at the Field Reports within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; A follow up on a holiday close from 2009
Well as I sit in a ...
A follow up on a holiday close from 2009
Well as I sit in a a secluded corner of Heathrow airport awaiting my flight to Bangkok thought I would write up a date that was me meeting a girl i K-closed on holiday last year. *Am now in Thailand, just I finished writing this on the plane*
A few months ago CB [Czech Bitch - All will become clear later] mailed me to let me know she would in London on 26th - 31st October and asked if I would be able to hook up her. A few emails later and she went from "yes for sure" to "need to check with my friends" I eventually just said when you make your mind get in touch with me. 4 weeks ago I had just sold my house and was in the process of booking my holiday to Thailand when she emailed me out of the blue wanting the meet-up. And we agreed in principle to last night (Fri 29th).
I got into London Wednesday evening and stayed at a friends in Camden. On the Thursday I met up with another friend one Grant Wellington (some of you guys may know him and this was a social meet-up not any form of paid coaching). Thursday night CB starts to text me saying she is Camden for the night as well and would like to see us but again she gets a but flaky and under GW's advice we decided not to follow it up.
So on to the day of the supposed date and I text her with a time and place (Near my hotel for obvious reasons) and she says its too far so we agree to meet at Finsbury Park 8pm. Then first big obstacle at 8pm she has brought a friend with her but I was not easily deterred and managed to win the friend round. As the pub we where in started to fill up i lead her to the dance floor (up till this point had good kino, eye contact) to isolate. There i manage to start grinding her and after third songs she volunteers for drinks and that she will be back at the table I head back to the table and her friend then need the toilet. Walk past the bar to see her all over a random dude at the bar.
So i grab my coat and CB sees this and asks where I am going and I tell her to fuck off and give her the finger and I grab a taxi before she can say anything.
So there ends probably most humiliating end to a night I have ever had, will never complain about the solo walk home after a night in the deen again after this.
Can't really decided if i did not do enough or is CB just a dirty slapper ?
You overreacted. She was definitely into you. All she was doing was testing you, to which you failed.
She noticed you grabbing your coat because she'd been watching you while she was with boy-toy. Hence her walking up to you and asking her where you were going.
What you did right was lay down a boundary. What you did wrong was get too emotionally involved and stormed off.
Here would have been a better play:
She: Where are you going?
You: Listen, I know I'm not your boyfriend but we came out here together.
[look for a reaction]
You: You can talk to and be with whomever you wish, but if you're ever with me, know that you hangin all over some dude isn't cool. Now, if you want to do that, be my guest. But if you wanna see me, then don't ever do that again. I'm serious.
She: I'm sorry...blah blah[just let her qualify herself back to you]
[This next part is key]
You: [release the tension]
Releasing the tension between you two after she qualifies can be done several ways, but basically you have to be WARM in your body language and/or tonailty.
Her: What, what I'm sorry blah blah..
You: It's cool, just don't ever do it again...(big warm smile)..listen, sweetheart, are you having fun?
You: Cool, me too. Let's keep having fun then (big smile).
See that? Feel the release? This release actually has built-in (increased) attraction.
So, not only would you pass her test, but she would know..."holy shit, I better watch myself. And in turn become more attracted by it because she is seeing the man, congruent with your initial time spent together. Lol, she'll also turn into putty after this. It's awesome.
Well since then had another date which went badly (seems to be recurring theme). Only this time I discovered my date already had a boyfriend who she said she was "undecided" about. She said his name and I knew him from her Facebook and he's her age (10 years younger than me) and 25 pounds lighter so I realised that there was no amount of manipulation or mental tricks I could use on her to make her choose me over him. I just bailed from the date as quietly and dignified as I could.
Looks like have a long way to go before I can fool any girl into my bed.
What's up with this "fool" word??? Idk about you, but that's the last thing I'll ever do to a girl to hop in bed with me. There's no "fooling" anyone when the desire is mutual.
For someone in my position (overweight, virgin @32, below average looks)I feel that is my best bet at getting a girl into bed with me, as I have very little else to attract her.
Originally Posted by Lemonjacket
Attraction is transferrable, up her buying temperature, then leave her, and you will find that she may be all over some other Joe who she just met. You overreacted, but I would ditch her as well. Just less emotionally.
@date with BF.
She said his name and I knew him from her Facebook and he's her age (10 years younger than me) and 25 pounds lighter so I realised that there was no amount of manipulation or mental tricks I could use on her to make her choose me over him.
You have some seriously limiting beliefs you need to get rid of. Age could be played as having more life experience, him being lighter? What? If you do martial arts you have DHV on your hands.
Also, if girl says she's undecided about her bf, take it as "he's on the way out and I'm looking for new one". Escalate, close, have fun.
Originally Posted by CMPitts
Originally Posted by Soul
I know plenty of young girls who like older men. My good female friend was the president of her sorority, and told me how many of the hot sisters were doing guys twice their age. Not only that, but some girls like chubbier men because it makes them feel better about their own bodies. You need to snap out if it, or you will end up a lonely old virgin. Women like confident guys regardless of age, weight, height, etc...
By the way, you CAN do something about your weight, and you CAN do some things to make yourself more attractive. Go to the gym to get fit, and get some mens mags or look in the style portion of this site to improve your look.
Also, just to encourage you. I was an old guy with no game what so ever. I ran into a few lays over the years by accident. After finding the attraction community, I met numerous gorgeous women, had tons of sex, and am marrying a superhot, rich woman who loves me unconditionally. Make your own future by getting out there and taking it.
Damn, do work.
Originally Posted by secretasianman1
from 2009? wow thats been a while.
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