Discuss Failure at the Field Reports within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Failure
Well it was my first night back at the bar since my girlfriend left ...
Well it was my first night back at the bar since my girlfriend left me 2 months ago.
I had gone out to meet a group of friends at a pub in the hopes of at least opening a couple of sets.
She happened to be there and it kinda threw me for a loop.
There was a awkward moment at first as she was there to meet up with our friends as well. (I didn't know this was the case.)
We chit chatted about nothing important on friendly terms and I wound up driving us all to the next bar, where she had called a cab and went home.
I wasn't drinking tonight and as we walked into the bar I saw another ex girlfriend from several years back.
Again I talked to her for a couple of minutes and congratulated her on her new baby.
The second bar we had gone too was packed and very loud.
After these 2 encounters I began to feel awkward and left the bar an hour before closing without opening a single set. I was having a hard time maintaining good body language as well I broke eye contact a couple of times with random girls, immediately lowering my value.
I guess it's worth mentioning that the 2 people I was with are a couple I've known for a long time. They were both on E and wanted to dance while I was sober and wasn't in the correct frame to dance.
After getting home I tottally AFC'ed / oneitised out and texted the ex saying it was nice seeing her and that we could still be friends if she wanted.
She texted back saying it was cool and I replied saying that I felt like an idiot lol.
She replied with Why, Don't worry about it. It was good seeing you too.
I said that feelings had come up that I thought I had dealt with and that I had forgotten how great she was.
She replied with Thank you, It definently took me back a little. Hope ya had a good night though.
I feel like such a douche right now lol. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Any suggestions would help guys.
I did put a personals add in and have had alot of responses. Mostly older women some with kids. From what I can tell most of them are fat and not anything I would seriously consider dating.
By texting her I was secretely hoping that she would of told me she missed me and wanted me back.
God what a setback. Where do I go from here?
Clubs require a LOT of energy to run a good set. Sounds like you weren't in the frame to bring that energy, no problem just work on it next time.
Your ex-oneitis is normal but you need to get rid of that. Anytime you think of your ex, just don't and say 'oh well it's over too bad so sad'. If you want her back, there's very specific game that sometimes works, but not always and I can't go into it in this thread.
Have you set up your online ad using online game / dating ad techniques? There's a whole forum on it here, check it out.
All nights are good nights, failure or success, just in that you learn more. So keep it up, and don't let AFC ways keep you down. If you can't find the energy for clubs / parties, then work on day game. Not harder, just different.
I believe this last text probably messed things up completely with her and I know for an absolute fact that I need to move on and forget about her.
I had a moment of weakness.
The ad I setup was done with proper game and the response I have had has been 8 women so far. Like I said though none of them are attractive imo.
Im following up responses with comfort routines and will proceed simply for the practice.
This whole being friends with the ex....
Should I avoid her like the plague until I at least sleep with another woman ?
Will being friends with her continue to mess me up?
Lol you don't even have to answer that last question I already know the answer. Damn you oneitis damn you to hell LMAO
I am sorry to hear that man. It is never easy to go through this. It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved. This hurt you feel will make you stronger in due time. It does suck. Your in what the weight lifters call, the pain period. It will pass. Push yourself to a new high. Your 27 and still young. Yes, fat women will respond to your dating adds. You can cop out with those, facebook, myspace, and eharmony or you can push yourself. Go out, open sets, game girls, meet new ones, and make friends. Look, it hurts now but, i will pass and its better to know now then several years later. Open sets. Meet new women. Honestly, don't worry so much on the outcome but rather, focus on having a good time regardless of the outcome. There are so many women out there. Meet some more bro.
Originally Posted by oxymoron
I feel for you man. Im fresh out of a relationship and here is my philosophy on breakups. If you're broken up, get her 100% out of your life. Fuck friends, you guys arent' going to go shopping and talk about dick together are you? Get rid of everything that reminds you of her, and delete her number,myspace, facebook, etc. If you're sitting and sulking, know that she's out probably having fun, so you should too. You'll also be amazed as the more women you talk to and time passes, she becomes farther and farther back in your mind. Surround yourself with people who want what you want and don't be some third wheel with a couple on E (of course that was gonna be lame). Get a new hobby. And lastly, look at your cock and say "its not gonna suck itself". Stay positive and don't beat yourself up!
I completely agree with eros. It's been a year since my ex dumped me and I still feel the pain whenever I think about her. Solution? Don't think about her. Best way to do that is to be out making friends, talking to women, and enjoying yourself.
"Venus favors the bold" - Ovid
Deep down I already knew what needed to be done.
Denial kinda sucks lol.
More inner game practice and more power of now thinking need to become my top priority at the moment to help get me back in the saddle.
This community is great for sharing and learning. Can't wait until my AFC days are completely behind me so I can start contributing.
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