I've got BALLS, but NOTHING else!!

Like Tree4Likes

I've got BALLS, but NOTHING else!!

Discuss I've got BALLS, but NOTHING else!! at the Culture and Lifestyle within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; I've got BALLS, but NOTHING else!! Hery guys, seriously need some help here. So basically ...

123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 21
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender:
    Age
    28
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    I've got BALLS, but NOTHING else!!

    Hery guys, seriously need some help here.

    So basically I've overcome my AA (not in ALL situations, but approaching a woman is second-nature to me now). I've also incorporated touching/feeling the woman early into my "game" but here's the thing: that's all I've got.

    I am:

    - Unafraid of rejection
    - Do not care if I get with a woman or not
    - Able to touch a woman and get close to her in public with people watching no problem

    BUT

    That's it.

    I'm like a cardboard cut-out, and girls just don't want anything to do with me after they realize all I've got is balls. It's seriously frustrating, deflating, and makes me feel worthless. Especially since guys who DON'T have the balls I do, are still banging girls on a semi-regular basis. So yeah, help please.

    I've read a lot about congruency, being yourself, all that bs. And it's bs because I am being myself more than ever, and getting NOTHING from it. Not only that but my general anxiety is spiking because I'm afraid I'll get slapped with a sexual harassment charge for "being myself".

    Basically I'm just lost right now, I'd appreciate it if anyone who KNOWS what I'm talking about can chime in and offer some advice. Because I'm starting to think that being myself actually ISN'T good enough, and that makes me feel really, REALLY bad.



  2. #2
    Tank's Avatar
    Tank is offline Administrator of the Forums
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender:
    Posts
    969
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked 76 Times in 72 Posts
    Mentioned
    60 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by SargeMaximus View Post
    I've read a lot about congruency, being yourself, all that bs.
    Have you read about the triad model, including how to create attraction?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender:
    Age
    28
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    Have you read about the triad model, including how to create attraction?
    F*ck off man, you're not even addressing my problem here, just peddling your product.

  4. #4
    Tank's Avatar
    Tank is offline Administrator of the Forums
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender:
    Posts
    969
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked 76 Times in 72 Posts
    Mentioned
    60 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by SargeMaximus View Post
    F*ck off man, you're not even addressing my problem here, just peddling your product.
    This is the Love Systems' forum after all, and anyway, It's free. Merely volunteering here sir, trying to close in on your problem and guide you towards the right ressources. It sounds like you're stuck right after the opener so it made sense that creating attraction would be your sticking point. Try to explain it in more details.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender:
    Age
    28
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Have you been in this situation before? Also, I thought having balls created attraction. >>

    It's hard to describe man, but here's my typical routine:

    1. See girl
    2. Approach and say something like "Hi, how's it going?"
    3. She responds positively, so I say something like "I just saw you and thought you were cute and wanted to say hi."
    4. she responds positively so I stick out my hand and introduce myself
    4. I HOLD her hand for the rest of the convo or until she lets go and continue (this is to screen her if she's sexually available), I start asking her questions like what she's up to, etc. Usually girls are into this
    5. If the conversation is going well and I feel good energy from her, I touch her arm and get more physical
    6. At this point usually girls get turned off or are put off by how forward I am (which is baffling to me because imo, I'm displaying confidence to the nth degree)
    7. We part ways

    KEEP IN MIND: I got a woman's number with this approach last week. Even kissed her on the neck in public in front of everyone. The entire ordeal took less than a half hour.

  6. #6
    Tank's Avatar
    Tank is offline Administrator of the Forums
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender:
    Posts
    969
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked 76 Times in 72 Posts
    Mentioned
    60 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Highly theoretical first: It sounds like you're looking for a lot of signals to determine your next action (she responds positively, so I do this...). If this is an almost subconscious process, no problem. But if you're always looking for positive signals, you're actually being approval seeking rather than confident.

    Also, there is a thing as coming on too strong. You have to let her fight a little for you, because if she senses that she has already won you over completely you can come off being no challenge (boring) or even low value and needy.

    My suggestion would be to add some push-pull to your interactions, you're especially in need of "push". Ps, I know from experience that writing "push-pull" will generate an automatic link. So don't look at me! But here are some free articles I think may be relevant for you:

    Braddock on: How to Flirt With Women, The Art of Push/Pull:
    http://www.theattractionforums.com/v...-nice-guy.html
    http://www.theattractionforums.com/v...ttraction.html

    When touching, at some point you have to let go too. Don't necessarily start with a long, lingering touch unless it's late in the evening and you need to do some hail marrys. And don't touch her constantly, let her miss your touch for a minute or two and then touch her again. Not in the same way, remember to escalate. If she stiffens up, let go of the touch and try a bit later, some girls need more time than others without it meaning that she's not open to go home with you later.

    The same with the conversation/interaction, don't just be pulling her in all the time. Tease her about something (woot, automated link again, please don't flame me). Do a fake back-turn (it'll never work out between us) or maybe even leave her and come back a bit later, stuff like that.

    That's my five cents. If you try it, let me know how it worked.

  7. #7
    Andrew Beretta is offline Workshop Assistant
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Gender:
    Posts
    52
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    4 Easy Steps Towards Creating Emotional Connections with Women

    Hey man,

    Tank here was pointing you in the right direction. But maybe I can offer you some advice? It looks like youíre unafraid of touching. Thatís awesome man! Also approaching isnít that hard for you anymore. Thatís really good too! Integrating touch early into your interactions is perfect. So since youíre good at that itís time to work on something else! Your problem is that youíre not building an emotional connection. Youíre just a guy that has big balls and thatís it. Letís fix that.

    4 easy steps towards creating emotional connections with women. According to the Triad Model this is the progression. Attraction-Qualification-Comfort-Seductions. Iím going to give you pointers for all four.

    Attraction
    • Teasing is a powerful tool. You want to tease on conversation not appearance. Women are very self conscience about their looks so don't go there. Letís say you find out she use to sell girl guide cookies. This is the perfect time to tease. ďI bet you weíre miss little goody two shoes.Ē This works because it comes across as a challenge which she can overcome.


    Qualification
    • Letís say you just teased her about being a book worm and she accepts the challenge and decides to prove you wrong. Perfect! This is literally when sheís trying to win you over. Sheís trying to convince you that she has an interesting life. To do so she might tell you a story of how she was on this two week trek in Indonesia. This is when you can qualify her by telling her how awesome it is that she did that. By doing so you show that you like her qualities as a person rather than just her looks.


    Comfort
    • So she just told you something really awesome. This is when you should share something about yourself. Storytelling is a hell of a skill which can help you not only with women but with your everyday life. Pick something that is relevant to the topic. Letís say she told you a story about bungee jumping you could tell her about the time you went white water rafting and how scary it was. But you were with your bestfriends and when youíre with those guys you can literally do anything. What this does is it conveys some of your character and it turns you into a real three dimensional person. Not bar guy #583.


    Seduction
    • Remember that this is all emotional. You only want to do this when she deserves it. Like after sheís told you something really great about herself. Use this as a reward for good behavior. Use statements of intent. Tell her that she smells good. Tell her that she turns you on. Tell her that you want her. These are all statements that say you want her. Emotionally it feels really good to be wanted.


    Now this is an emotional progression but they donít have to be done in a specific order. Dating is very organic. You just need to know when to make the right move at the right time and that comes with practice. Youíre already doing well with the physical aspect and you might be pushing a little too hard. If youíre worried about a restraining order slow your fucking role! Good advice for touching is to go just a little further then what is socially acceptable. Not grabbing chicks by the throat!

    Again here are the 4 easy steps towards creating emotional connections with women:

    1. Attraction: Tease her about her stories.

    2. Qualification: Challenge her and let her impress you.

    3. Comfort: Share a great story that is relevant.

    4. Seduction: Use statements of intent to make her feel desired.


    I hope this was helpful and let me know if you want me to elaborate on any of these steps! I would love hearing from you! Just comment below!

    Bang bang,

    -Beretta

    Two articles that could really help you:
    Love Systems Triad
    Storytelling

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender:
    Age
    28
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    Highly theoretical first: It sounds like you're looking for a lot of signals to determine your next action (she responds positively, so I do this...). If this is an almost subconscious process, no problem. But if you're always looking for positive signals, you're actually being approval seeking rather than confident.

    Also, there is a thing as coming on too strong. You have to let her fight a little for you, because if she senses that she has already won you over completely you can come off being no challenge (boring) or even low value and needy.

    My suggestion would be to add some push-pull to your interactions, you're especially in need of "push". Ps, I know from experience that writing "push-pull" will generate an automatic link. So don't look at me! But here are some free articles I think may be relevant for you:

    Braddock on: How to Flirt With Women, The Art of Push/Pull:
    http://www.theattractionforums.com/v...-nice-guy.html
    http://www.theattractionforums.com/v...ttraction.html

    When touching, at some point you have to let go too. Don't necessarily start with a long, lingering touch unless it's late in the evening and you need to do some hail marrys. And don't touch her constantly, let her miss your touch for a minute or two and then touch her again. Not in the same way, remember to escalate. If she stiffens up, let go of the touch and try a bit later, some girls need more time than others without it meaning that she's not open to go home with you later.

    The same with the conversation/interaction, don't just be pulling her in all the time. Tease her about something (woot, automated link again, please don't flame me). Do a fake back-turn (it'll never work out between us) or maybe even leave her and come back a bit later, stuff like that.

    That's my five cents. If you try it, let me know how it worked.
    Here's my issue with all that: it's not ME. I honestly don't care if a girl leaves, that's her business, but she should be able to feel that I literally do not care. Meaning even if I'm getting too touchy/feely, she SHOULD be able to feel that I'm not needy, just sexual.

    As for the "signals" you gotta when you're as fearless as me otherwise you can cause quite a scene. literally was holding a woman's hand today and her son came around the corner. We kept holding hands and she was like "oh, this is my son" lol. If it was her husband, what would have happened?

    I'm looking for signals to assess the situation, not as approval exactly but more to size up where she's at. Are you suggesting I just start groping girls before I even know they're ok with a long handshake?

    Coming on too strong yes, that I agree with, but how can I warm the girl up to it? I don't want to start playing games (like push=pull etc) just to get the girl because then I AM getting needy i.e. doing something just to GET the girl (much like handing her flowers, I'll just "hand" her some push=pull)

    Make sense? Like, if I'm doing something to get the girl, I'm already needy. If I'm acting on my desires, no matter how "needy" it may appear, it's NOT needy because with it comes the vibe of "I want to touch you all night but I DO NOT CARE IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN".

    I want to be ME and get girls, not be some gamey pua and get girls.

    Is there no way to do that?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender:
    Posts
    469
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 23 Times in 22 Posts
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by SargeMaximus View Post
    F*ck off man, you're not even addressing my problem here, just peddling your product.
    If you want help then it would be rather beneficial for you not to be an asshole towards anyway, especially the mods.

    The problem was addressed, you simply were not interested in reading the material!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender:
    Age
    28
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocolatePUA View Post
    If you want help then it would be rather beneficial for you not to be an asshole towards anyway, especially the mods.

    The problem was addressed, you simply were not interested in reading the material!
    Andrew Beretta wasn't there when i replied. I'll read up on it tomorrow.

    A HUGE part of my issues are internal though, although a woman asked for MY number today, so I must be doing something right.

    I just want to be ok with all this, and do it in a way that feels congruent with my inner self. A lot of this pua stuff doesn't fit me in that way, if that makes sense.

    Also, I wasn't trying to be an asshole, I was just frustrated because I can do so much more than I ever could before but seemed to be getting no results, and then Tank comes on and just offers me a product to buy. totally unhelpful and even inconsiderate I would say.


    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew Beretta View Post
    Hey man,

    Tank here was pointing you in the right direction. But maybe I can offer you some advice? It looks like you’re unafraid of touching. That’s awesome man! Also approaching isn’t that hard for you anymore. That’s really good too! Integrating touch early into your interactions is perfect. So since you’re good at that it’s time to work on something else! Your problem is that you’re not building an emotional connection. You’re just a guy that has big balls and that’s it. Let’s fix that.
    Like I said, I'll read up on it tomorrow, you seem to get exactly where I'm going wrong so props.

Similar Threads

  1. I got no balls! :(
    By wolfpack in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 08-31-2011, 09:36 PM
  2. FR: Having the balls.
    By Always in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-20-2010, 01:35 AM
  3. Maybe I do have balls...
    By Recap in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-22-2008, 07:12 PM
  4. Getting some Balls!
    By andrew87 in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-29-2007, 12:34 AM
  5. balls - DHV or not DHV?
    By Sun Slayer in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-18-2006, 05:06 AM

Visitors found this page by searching for:

Nobody landed on this page from a search engine, yet!
SEO Blog

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

Recommended


Daytime Dating



Magic Bullets



Beyond Words



Love Systems Routines Manual



The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game



Interview Series



Love Systems Relationship Management



Love Systems Program Schedule





Facebook  Twitter