Hey Guys, the final chapter in my advanced body language series is up on my blog. I'll post the first bit here, but visit my blog to read the rest...
Advanced Body Language PART 3!
Alright, so in the past 2 articles I’ve gone over how to exude sexual presence, alpha behaviour, and restraint using only your body language. Ok great, it’s been 3 months, so now you can compete with the naturals right? Damn right you can! But unfortunately for you, once you’re at this level naturals start appearing much, much more and if you’re going to stand out from even them, then you’re going to need something that only the TOP seducers throughout history have mastered.
Aura & Mystique.
So what is it?
Aura and mystique is achieved by communicating to women, through non-verbal communication, that you are a man of exceptionally rare quality.
That’s the most logical way I can explain it if I was to define it. I came across this quality while reading about the great seducers; Casanova, Don Juan, Cleopatra, and Rudolf Valentino, they all were described by their lovers as “having an aura” or “Sense of mystique”. So how did they do it? How did they communicate that quality to their lovers? Well, all of the great seducers have their own unique way of displaying this quality...
Casanova would be very clear and open with his sexual intent. He would act on this intent without reserve, and communicate to women that he was simply in love with the act of love.
Cleopatra used her ingenuity and theatrics to seduce. She would plan complex entrances and stage theatrics in order to immortalize herself in the minds of her lovers.
Rudolf Valentino was overtly sexual with his movements, especially his eyes, and seduced millions by the wanton way in which he treated the heroines in his films, something very out of the ordinary for the time.
These are just a few examples, and as you study more and more seducers you find that every one of them have their own special way of standing out from the competition of the time.
So how do we take these lessons in the history of seduction and apply it to our current day interactions?
Advanced Body Language – Aura & Mystique
1. Dress the part.
All of the above seducers dressed in a way that stood out from the competition. Some were astonishingly flashy, some quite unremarkable for today’s standards (An open shirt anyone?)
I’m not going to lie; pea cocking makes a huge difference in how you’re perceived. The trick that most people don’t get (And the main reason you often see at least 1 awkward looking guy wearing a fur hat and eyeliner in any given bar) is that pea cocking only makes you LOOK LIKE someone with mystique, it does not GIVE YOU IT. As well, how you’re dressed and how you act have to be in line with each other (congruency) otherwise you’re going to look like a fake and get blown out or even made fun of. You can’t dress like Mystery without a reason or a personality that goes along with it. Cleopatra wanted people to think she was divine, Rudolf wore tight pants and exposed chests for sex appeal. I have long hair, tight pants, dress in black and leather because I play the villain, so I make sure to dress the part. Figure out who you are and then dress in a slightly stylized version of that. If you’re confused as to *who* you are, identity is something we go over in our seminars (and 1on1s) so if you’ve taken one, you should already know.
2. Make an entrance!
This isn’t as hard as it sounds; don’t worry about staging something extravagant, often, the simpler it is, the better. Your “entrance” basically amounts to a first impression. I’ve actually started asking the women I’ve been with when it was when they realized they were attracted to me, and nearly all of them say something similar, which has given me some insight into how powerful first impressions can be. Here is an actual transcript from a recent one:
Cajun: *Above question*
Rachel: Oh right away.
Cajun: Really? I’m not *that* attractive.
Rachel: No no, it wasn’t that, it was just like you were this funny guy who didn’t give a shit, and I remember looking at you and thinking “He’s a *bad* one!” and then as soon as I thought that, you looked at me…
Rachel: Haha shut up! Actually, the way you looked at me was pretty intense too.
Rachel: Most guys just smile, or get nervous and look away when I notice them, you locked eyes with me and smirked like you knew that I was thinking dirty thoughts about you or something, even though I wasn’t!
Cajun: Yes you were, don’t lie.
Rachel: I wasn’t! But after you did that it’s all I could think about! That’s why I introduced myself a little later, I *had* to meet you.
The above was a girl I met at a party. And my “entrance”, as you can see, was simply a look. My clothes and body language got her attention, but it was the “look” that made the impression on her. Here’s another transcript:
Cajun: *same question*
Isabelle: When you walked up to me.
Cajun: It was a sexy walk?
Isabelle: No, I just noticed you in the bar and you looked over at me and smirked, I thought “Ehh..he’s ok looking” but then you furrowed your eyes like you knew what I was thinking and without looking away you slowly walked over to me and said something really sexy, guys NEVER do that.
Cajun: Do you remember what I said?
Isabelle: Something like “You can’t look at me like that” but it wasn’t what you said, you gave off this confidence, like I remember feeling that even if I wanted to reject you it wouldn’t even have worked, it was weird, but sexy weird. When you left, my friends were like “Who the fuck was THAT guy?” You made a pretty good impression.
The way that I opened this woman was the same way I open every woman that looks at me in a bar. Goes like this:
Girl looks at me
I look at her, HOLD eye contact.
If she holds for more than 2-3 seconds I walk over slowly without looking away.
I get in close and in the most seductive voice I can muster I say “You can’t look at me like that and not say anything”
One of the most important elements here is the *way* that you look at the women. This is hard to explain in text, and I’d post a picture of the look but it wouldn’t help too much because it’s not really the look itself that’s important, but the message the look gives. Essentially you should be looking at them like “I get a funny joke that you don’t get”. That’s the easiest way I can explain it. Couple that with a few glances at their lips and some flirty kino and you have yourself a recipe for a sexy first impression.
3. Don’t give a shit.
Not giving a shit is one of the easiest ways to stand out from nearly every other guy that has approached your sets in the past. The reason is simple; most guys care what women think of them. This is actually a pretty unattractive trait, I don’t think women would admit it, but it is. It says a bunch of negative things which you don’t really need to know other than “they’re bad”. I’m assuming all of you care what women think of you when you approach, that’s ok, you can’t really just turn that off, the trick is to convince the women that you don’t give a shit, not yourself, at least initially. So how do you do it?
- SMILE: Not one of those “Look how happy I am!” grins, keep it cool, it should be a “I know exactly what I’m doing, and you can’t rattle me” type of grin. As well, whenever you don’t know what to say, just smile and look at them like you get something they don’t get. I mentioned this earlier and it’s probably one of the most powerful looks you can give. Practice it until you get it right, it’s a little different for everyone.
- SLOW DOWN: Don’t talk so fast, and try to pause for no reason often, followed by one of those smiles you’ve been practicing. If they ask you a question look at them and smile for a second or two before responding, as if they just asked a dirty question.
- LOOK COMFORTABLE: This pretty much comes down to locking in. Think about where you want to be locked in as you’re approaching the sets. Every good bar is set up in a way that there should always be something to lean on or sit on, so there are no excuses. I have actually leaned on PEOPLE in the past when there was nothing to lean on.
And the last most important rule for aura & mystique
4. Have complete confidence in your mastery of social interactions.
You should seem like someone who could never be uncomfortable, no matter what the situation. If something happens and you don’t know what to say just look comfortable and smile or make fun of the fact that its awkward and blame it on them. Always appear as if you’re one step ahead of everyone., be James Bond.