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    Dating Tips: Interview with Dating Coaches Braddock and Vercetti



    You can find this post and many more on Braddock's Blog

    Or follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ls_braddock



    In this audio Dating Coaches Braddock and Vercetti took time out to answer various questions posted on the attraction forums. They recorded the question and answer session and compiled a 6 part audio series for all of you to listen to. This video is part 1 of 6, of the Braddock and Vercetti interview.

    The first topic that Braddock and Vercetti cover is the ideal personalities or manners guys should have when being successful with women. Dating Coach Vercetti goes on to explain that there is not one type of personality that is ideal, but there are various characteristics that one should have. For example: A guy who is a challenge and has other options with women. Another trait is being comfortable with yourself, meaning you do not seek approval or expose any sort of neediness with women.

    Dating Coach Braddock also elaborates on this topic with various tips to embed into your personality. He explains that everyone has a different style, and there is not one model personality to have. Braddock emphasizes that you must develop a personality based on your own style, and not try to mimic anyone because it can lead to incongruence in your character.

    Braddock also explains that your personality should adapt to certain people and situations. For example, if Braddock is in New York for only a couple a days, he will become more of a bold, risky, and direct person based on his situation. Braddock explains that you need to find a middle ground of which you are most of the time, and add layers to it while still being congruent. Back to the New York example, Braddock is being bolder, risky, and sexual with women based on his scenario. There are times Braddock will be with his laid back friends for more of a relaxed night and will adapt and expose more of his easy going characteristics. However, he is not changing his personality. He is just adapting to different scenarios while still reflecting who he is as a person.

    Vercetti comes back to explain that you must be able to experiment with different situations and girls. This will help you become more flexible and give you the ability to adapt to any situation, while still holding congruence to your personality. Braddock and Vercetti emphasize that the best guys are the guys that have a dynamic personality. Not only is having a well-rounded personality attractive to girls, but also it helps you adapt to different situations. For example, Braddock is an athletic and adventurous guy, but at the same time is well educated and intelligent; this all reflects a dynamic personality. Guys that can do everything and range their personality to be able to adapt to certain situations, moods, and women are the most successful. But at the same time, these guys are staying congruent to their personality so everything comes off as natural. You should not mimic someone and try to model your style after them, but use your own ideal style and add layers to it where you can adapt to certain situations.

    Braddock and Vercetti state that when creating your personality; make sure only YOU create it. Some people may feel like they are obligated to be someone they are not based on certain situations and the expectations of others. If you do this, your personality will end up unnatural and hurt your future situations. Use your true identity and add different dimensions to it that will allow you to adapt to various situations and people. But make sure your dimensions are still congruent to who you are as a person in order to come off naturally.




    You can find this post and many more on Braddock's Blog

    Or follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ls_braddock



    Part 2 of the interview with dating coaches Braddock and Vercetti starts with a question based on field reports. The question deals with field reports and breaking them down with key points and explanations. Braddock explains that you do not see much field reports because they take loads of time to tape them, transcribe them, and edit them. However, Braddock states that in the future when he has more interns and time, he will have some up because they are amazing learning tools.

    The next question that Braddock and Vercetti cover is about direct game. The question is broken into 3 parts:

    1.What is the best time to go direct?
    2. What is the best Frame when going direct?
    3. How does one transition successfully after delivering a direct opener?

    Braddock explains he goes direct almost all the time in a nightclub. However, he describes there are certain levels of directness one can have, and when to have them. Braddock will go direct if it’s early in the night, but will keep it at a soft level. For example he may say to a group of girls at the bar “You’re cute, what time does this place get good?” Later in the night, when it is more crowded he may say, “Just because you’re cute, you think you don’t have to say hi?” As you can see, the first opener doesn’t hold much sexual interest and is not super direct. The 2nd opener shows much more sexual interest and seeks more of a response.

    Vercetti elaborates on this and states that he can feel when the time is right to go direct. He has certain openers that he uses at any time, and others that he calibrates based on the time/scenario. He starts to feel when the time is right because he has his sexual intent under control. Braddock and Vercetti emphasize how important it is to keep your sexual intent under control. If you are too sexual, it can come off as sleazy and creepy and the opener will not hit. Being too sexual will be overbearing for the woman and make you come off as a creepy guy who cannot control his sexual intentions.

    Braddock explains that your direct opener and frame should not be over sexual, and should be charismatic and comfortable. You must have the frame that you are comfortable and it is not weird for you to come and deliver such an opener. You must come in with the mindset that you and her are both equals, and that she is good looking enough for you to approach her.

    Both Braddock and Vercetti cover the last question of how to transition properly after delivering a good direct opener. Braddock explains this is the hardest part of going direct, and that the first 30 seconds of interaction is vital in progressing with the woman. If the direct opener gets a great reaction, the more you can get away with mediocre transitions. If it gets an average response, you must be ready to transition a lot better.

    Vercetti then gives some examples of how he transitions. Vercetti likes to be playfully challenging, and gives some examples of how he does so. For example, after delivering his opener, he would state something along the lines of “You’re a player aren’t you?” He also explains that he calibrates his transition based on the reaction of the woman. For example if the target showed a great response to the opener, Vercetti will increase the sexual tension.



    You can find this post and many more on Braddock's Blog

    Or follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ls_braddock


    In part 3 of the interview, Dating coaches Braddock and Vercetti continue
    elaborating on Transitioning after direct openers. Braddock continues talking about micro
    calibration, as Vercetti was discussing earlier. Braddock and Vercetti explain that
    Transitioning after a direct opener will be gauged based on the woman’s reaction. For
    example if she begins to escalate you after the opener, then you can turn things more
    sexual at a faster rate. If she gives a mediocre reaction, you can try adding more humor to
    the interaction.

    The next topic that is brought up is the difficulties that Braddock and Vercetti
    faced when getting into pickup. Vercetti started off explaining that he used to see
    successful pickup artists as gods, but then realized that they were simple, normal human
    beings. He explains that is can be hard for students to see such a reality, when they are
    used to seeing these guys succeed with women.

    Vercetti also explained that overcoming his ego was a huge problem for him.
    Vercetti had an identity of being an alpha male, actor, and someone who doesn’t get shot
    down or rejected by any women. Vercetti had the mindset that he doesn’t get blown out,
    and that girls will not reject him. He later realized that this was the wrong mindset, and
    that he must use rejection as a tool to grow and progress his game. He slowly gained a
    mindset that was response based, meaning it was all about how he came back and
    recovered from certain failures or rejections. Gaining this mindset was tough for Vercetti
    because he earlier had the ego of an alpha male that NEVER gets rejected. He was able to
    realize that there are things he has to do in order to be the person he wants to be, and
    killing his old ego was one of the obstacles he had to overcome, which is a large part of
    his success today.

    Vercetti also talked about how hard going direct was. He used to think that it was
    wrong to be able to say direct things to women, but later realized how powerful it really
    is. He ties this into day game, which he explains how difficult it was for him to start
    implementing Day game into his arsenal. He also explains how powerful Day game is, and
    how vital it is for everyone to try it.

    Braddock explains that one obstacle he faced was the perception that successful
    pickup artists had. He discusses how older guys in the community would post up their
    successes and field reports, and would make it seem like they were flawless pickup
    artists. He explained how students would overhype successful pickup artists, and
    perceived them as guys who would be 100% successful every night. Braddock explains
    how wrong this myth is, and that even he being one of the best pick up artists in the
    worldv has nights where he gets blown out. He emphasizes that it is okay to get blown
    out, and that it will happen no matter what because you can never fully control a girl’s
    reaction. For example, Braddock encourages controlling aspects that can be controlled;
    the way you dress, your tonality, your Body Language, and your mood. He explains you
    must give it your best, and if a blow out happens, go on to the next girl. Everybody gets
    blown out and there is no one that will go ten out of ten with women in one night. You
    must enhance the factors of your game that can be controlled, give it your all, and if it
    fails, you go on to the next one.




    You can find this post and many more on Braddock's Blog

    Or follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ls_braddock



    In this video you will find

    • How to deal with an mindset where you seek other people’s approval
    • The importance of setting realistic goals
    • The proper mindset to have regarding how your interactions and women

    A lot of guys mention what type of mindset they should have towards the people in their social
    circle when learning how to get good with women. Many guys constantly fall into the trap of
    needing the approval of these people. Don’t do this! It can be especially discouraging when other
    guys question their progress. Haven’t we all heard, “Aren’t you learning how to get better with
    women? What techniques do you have? Show us! I thought you were good at this?” Relying on
    others for approval is a fast way to get discouraged quickly.

    So how do we deal with this mindset? Well, there are several remedies. First, figure what type
    of lifestyle you want, and then find the mentors that exhibit the lifestyle you want. Ignore the
    advice of people who aren’t living the life you want to be living. Too many people listen to the
    advice of their friends who really don’t know anything. When you find a mentor that’s living
    the life you want to be living, whether they know game or not, you’ll be able to see the footprints
    they took to get to where they are now. Then, learn the footprints and write out a blueprint for
    yourself. As mentioned before, get over the idea that you need other people’s approval! Do your
    own thing and in many cases, it’s better to not share how you’re actively trying to get better with
    women. When you get good and other guys ask, “How’d you get so good”, you can just respond
    by saying, “I don’t know, I guess women just like me. Be yourself”.

    Another mistake guys make is to beat themselves up over bad nights and feel like they’re not
    making any progress. Many of these guys have their self-worth riding on the night, and this is
    another terrible way to think! Our minds work in such a way that we frame things positively
    or negatively. Set your mind to always focus on the positive in order to move forward. If you
    start breaking yourself down with negativity, you won’t get very far. Dating Coach Braddock
    mentions that even if you get blown out that night, remember that there’s no failure, only
    feedback. Keep in mind that last night was only one microcosm piece of information in the
    big picture. In addition, set small goals in order to learn and grow. The journey to dating and
    attracting the women of your dreams is similar to lifting weights. It takes time, and you have to
    trust the process and the road map others have laid out.

    To add to the point above, the reason why so many guys place too much value on what happens
    each night is because they’re so dependent on the outcome. Get to a point where you can
    completely detach yourself from outcome. Go out to have fun and if all goes well, cool. If not,
    then no big deal. This type of mindset is understandably difficult to adopt in the beginning, but
    again, remember it’s a process and that there’s a road map to success. Also, the more you can
    detail your planning, approach, and sticking points, the more comfortable you’ll be in your plan.
    The amount of detail allows you to see the road map clearly laid out. On the other hand, when
    guys don’t know what their sticking points are, don’t have a road map, that’s when it gets more
    difficult for them to measure their progress due to the ambiguity. So remember, set goals for
    every night, journal it, and congratulate yourself on your small successes! Even if you get blown
    out, keep in mind that as long as you keep moving, you’ll be getting closer towards your goals.

    Many guys have heard this before, but so many people get down on how things go with women
    because they put these women on a pedestal. Take women off the pedestal and each time you
    go out, imagine going to a playground full of your favorite toys. When you go and pick up the
    toys, some will be fun while others won’t be fun. It’s important to have no expectations and no
    preconceived thoughts. Just go out, talk to the women, and have fun!




    You can find this post and many more on Braddock's Blog

    Or follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ls_braddock



    In this video you will find

    • The power of a Social Circle and the reality of cold approach
    • A continuation on how to properly view women
    • The reality of getting good with women
    • Advice on how to get into a Social Circle without being threatening

    Some guys get incredibly jealous of other men at the clubs who have lots of women fawning
    around them. They incorrectly assume that those guys have met those women through cold
    approach. Cold approach is the hardest way to approach women, and is also the most fun way.
    However, the guy that has the hottest women in the club next to him probably met her through a
    social circle, had some value established, dated some other girls, and over time had her build him up in her mind. When the timing was right, those two probably dated and now she thinks he’s a superhero.

    Don’t put yourself beneath this guy. Yes, he’s done Social Circle Mastery well and there are tons
    of guys who have exceptional game that don’t the hottest girls. On the other hand, there are lots
    of guys who date the hottest girls because they have adequate game and are able to crack into
    social circles. Focusing on cold approach forever causes your return on investment to eventually
    hit a threshold. When that happens, you must start to build a social circle.

    As mentioned in the previous post, it is so vital to take women off the pedestal. They’re just
    see women and too many times guys constantly build up women in their head. Once you’re
    able to attract and date that woman, then you start to see how you’ve built them up in your mind
    and how they’re a human being. The funny thing is that the concepts Love Systems teaches are
    meant to attract the hottest women, yet so many guys deviate from these concepts when dealing
    with exceptionally gorgeous women. A woman is just a woman, and she’s just a human being
    like the rest of us!

    A lot of men also have an unrealistic view on how things will go when they get really good at
    attracting women. Even the best such as Dating Coach Braddock go through highs, lows, and
    plateaus. There will be times you can walk in and get any girl for months at a time. And then
    there are times where you plateau and have to remind yourself to clean things up.

    On the other hand, some guys who are tall and good-looking wonder how they should show
    guys in a new Social Circle that they’re non-threatening. Many guys try to be the alpha male and
    dominate the room. Don’t do this! In a social circle, it’s necessary to ramp up value over time
    as opposed to establishing value in the first interaction. In addition, watch the room because
    each Social Circle has its own culture. Take it easy and be laid back. Of course, don’t be a pussy,
    but get to know people, compliment them genuinely, and find commonalities. In addition,
    don’t tease people really hard, and don’t over inject unless you connect well with that person.
    Remember, it’s important to build the relationships first and value second. Cultivate relationships
    with each individual member, as opposed to trying to run the group. Coincidentally, when you
    cultivate relationships, you’ll probably rise to near the top in the social group.

    Some guys question how can they build relationships if they don’t have huge value? The idea is
    to bring the fun – light fun. There’ no need to be the center of attention, but blend with everyone.
    In essence, be the social butterfly, have good conversations with the other people, and be
    pleasant to be around. There’s no need to stand out, as it’s more about how you fit in and vibe
    with the rest of the people. As you would guess, conversation skills are very important!

    Here are some other thoughts to keep in mind: Think of everyone as your equal, and give a lot
    of respect as well as expect a lot of respect. Don’t get needy, but be patient and let the people in
    the group slowly accept you over time. One important tip is to use the person that brought you
    in the Social Circle as the gatekeeper. In the beginning when you hang out with the group, that
    individual should be there to serve as the buffer. This will help you get to know the other people
    in the social group more naturally and fluidly.




    Like this post? Check out Braddock's Blog

    Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ls_braddock



    In this video you will find:

    • Additional advice on how to be on good terms with others in the social circle

    In a social circle, it is important to find ways to build people up in a manner that isn’t fake, and to genuinely appreciate them for who they are. Find something you genuinely like about them and compliment them on it. This is a great way to make people feel good. When you introduce
    these individuals to other people, make them feel like a star and build them up. People who are high value and truly comfortable in their skin don’t mind putting others up near the top. Ultimately, it goes to Inner Game where you have comfort in yourself and come from a position where you don’t need anything from anyone, you know this is who you are, you love meeting new people, and you love seeing other people rise as well as you have.

    One of the most important Dating Tips to remember in Social Circle situations is the importance of adapting to the situation and maintain relationships with the other guys in a social group. When you’re out with the guys, try to find out which girls they’re into. If you know a guy is insecure and his girl is into you, find a way to dismiss her where he knows you’re dismissing her on purpose. However, don’t dismiss her in a way that makes her want you more. Make it very clear you’re not into her.

    When a good looking, cool dude comes into the group, other guys will usually think he’ll take everything they’ve worked for. This is threatening for them. However, when the new guy adds value, and it’s clear he’s not there to take things away, this causes them to open up. On the other hand, giving too much is bad as well, as it will cause other guys to wonder what you want from them. Dating Coach Braddock mentions that the good default setting is to be laid back, be cool, get to know people, be interested in them, don’t brag, don’t try to be the center of attention, find something genuine to compliment them on, and find a place to naturally bring value. Don’t force anything, and if you bring value, it’s usually the small and simple things that matter. You really don’t need to do too much.

    Some great ways to connect with the other guys includes talking about sports, women, buying a round of shots, and bringing women to the table. Hooking a dude up with a girl especially goes a long way. In addition, if you notice insecurity in other people, be nonjudgmental. Adopt a “that
    happens” mentality and establish that you’re not judging, not taking, and you’re here to bring value. With all these tips and values in mind, you’ll be on your way to developing relationships and a great social circle!
    Last edited by Stallion; 06-27-2011 at 12:53 PM.


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