Thread: On Dominance
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08-22-2009, 08:30 PM #1
“You have balls that clank when you walk. I love it”
That was one of the text messages I received from my girlfriend when we were talking about men, women and relationships.
I do not skydive,
I don’t use hardcore drugs, bungee jump nor do I save people from the burning buildings. I am neither a police officer, fireman nor daredevil and I do not play extreme sports. Did I mention that I am not a gangster or a criminal.
I am also not a war veteran, I’ve never killed people.
Those are the things, most people believe, give men brass balls. Perhaps? But you don’t have to do all that to be confident and dominant.
I am notorious for writing LONG posts, that often borderline with inner game circle jerking, but today I wanted to write something that’s been brewing in my head for a very long time. If it wasn’t for my girl’s encouragement I wouldn’t have been able to verbalise it.
And in indirect way, I will attempt to answer few questions I see often on this board.
I want to touch heavy on relationship dynamics, cover sex and why you’re not getting the porn-like kinky sex from your girlfriend. Why she’s apprehensive about having naughty dirty sex with you, as well as do a bathroom quickie, give head while you’re driving, or get fucked in the alley. Nearly every man has fantasies about public bathroom blow jobs, threesomes, cumming on girl’s face, fucking her in the ass, and a lot of other hot kinky stuff they see on porn but can never “get their girlfriends to do”
I also see many sad stories, in which woman wears the pants in a relationship. Those stories repeat themselves ohh-too-often when men are “pussy whipped” and woman “use’ them. The infamous words uttered by many men: “yes honey” and “whatever you like, baby” are getting to me.
“They let their girls walk on them” (without even realizing it) is another text message my girlfriend sent me, regarding her male friends. “They just don’t get it” were the words she used to describe some of her past boyfriends.
I also want to talk about “bouncing back” or when you feel like your relationship roles have reversed. Why you were cocky and funny and teased her a lot, negged her plenty, had her eating out of your hands and suddenly you find yourself chasing your own girlfriend. Out of the blue she has all the power and you have none. What happened? And how my friend put it, “Why in the fuck she’s ignoring me and not answering my calls!!”
The conversation I had with my female roommate, best saved for separate post, but she was talking about a guy she dated: “He’s so in love with me, if I ever cheated on him, I’d have to leave him, because, I couldn’t live with him after he forgive me, because, I know he would”
And most importantly, where it all begins, and why should we ask our dads why you suck with women. Perhaps, something your dad should have asked his dad too
Let’s get started:
What is dominance? I know, you’re saying, “TrueStory shut up with all this Keyboard jockeying shit”. You’re right but I am an asshole so there you go:
• the state that exists when one person or group has power over another;
• authority: the power or right to give orders or make decisions; "he has the authority to issue warrants"; "deputies are given authorization to make arrests"; "a place of potency in the state"
Let’s also look at definition of Submission, and we are not talking about BDSM stuff here:
• the act of submitting; usually surrendering power to another
• the condition of having submitted to control by someone or something else;
In any relationship, sexual, friendship, family, there will always be degree of dominance-submission between people. You notice this at work to very large extreme. And often, your manager might have work related dominance over you, but you would easily dominate him in a fight and kick his ass. So physical, emotional and social dominance/submission are all different categories and having one doesn’t mean you have the others.
Emotional, Sexual and Social Dominance
What I wanted to point out about dominance and submission is that women, naturally, are emotionally and sexually submissive beings. I know, I know you’re going to give me examples of “strong women” blah blah blah. Good. But for every strong dominant woman there is a stronger dominant man. Ironically, I’ve fucked dominatrix (girl that is dominant in sex, and often in relationship). She was on the bottom. She was pretty narcistic bitch, had some psychological issues, and dominated men out of bitterness towards them. When we fucked she was on the bottom. I told her what to do, and how to please me. She has thanked me later, because, I truly made her feel like a woman. Who knew, right?
In practicality, when you start dating a girl, you should automatically frame yourself as dominant. How?
First you need to start believing that every decision you make is the best decision. You absolutely have to blindly believe that you make good decisions and people should follow you and listen to you.
You start working on yourself first, and without sounding like some Inner Game junkie, you have to clean out skeletons out of your closet. Ask yourself if you
- - Hate, despise women because they have it “easy” and you don’t
- - Hate people because they have things you don’t
- - Have anger towards “world”, Government, police, authority, taxes, whatever else has authority over you
- - Have self doubting thoughts
Self doubting thoughts will never let you be free. They will come up. The less of them you have and when they come up the sooner you address them, the less they will interfere with your leadership. It’s not rocket science and I am not re-inventing the wheel here, No Woman Will Want Self Doubting Man.
It starts how you approach her. Dominant man, I’ve noticed in me and in my natural friends, do not hesitate. They do not worry about getting rejected. They target in on a girl and approach. When they speak they speak clear and loud. They never repeat themselves, nor do they answer any questions they do not want to answer. There is never a decision of “which opener to use” or “should I run this routine or that routine”. Everything is down in the head. There is confidence that material work. Success brings that confidence, repeated exposure to positive results only re-enforce effectiveness of the method.
Dominant man do tell. They don’t ask, they don’t tack on “ok?” or “right?”to their statements. They don’t politely ask if it’s ok to do something. When walking through crowd, their “excuse me” is aftermath. Consider following conversation:
Beta Man: “Hey, hi, excuse me.. hi…can I ask you something?”
Alpha Man: “Hey. I need to ask you something. “
Beta: “Would you like to exchange the phone numbers, so umm maybe we can hang out?”
“Give me your number; I’ll give you a call sometimes next week”
This kind of submissive passive behavior carries into relationship (if one ever starts). If I had a nickel for every single fucking time I overhear this conversation
Beta-boyfriend: “baby…umm where do you wanna eat?”
Girlfriend: “baby, I don’t care”
BF: “baby , I don’t either. Whatever you want. So what do you want?”
GF: “I said I don’t care. Pick something”
BF: “ umm well, I don’t know, I don’t know what I want… maybe..well sushi?”
GF: “You know I don’t like sushi. Pick something else”
BF: “umm baby, well, I don’t know, Italian?”
GF: “No.. it’s too heavy. I am on a diet, I don’t want Italian”
BF:”Well.. I don’t know baby, then you suggest something… I gave you two choices”
GF: “I don’t know. I am just gonna warm up a pop tart”
BF: “wait. What I wanna go out… let’s go somewhere… we’ll go to that ‘nice expensive restaurant’ you like”
GF:” I don’t want to, because, we are going there for dinner this Saturday, with Jack and Jane”
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! PICK A GODDAMN PLACE!
This is how this conversation goes with a dominant male:
BF: “Hey baby, get dressed I am hungry!”
GF: “Where are we going”
BF: “this neat little Greek place, you’ll like it”
GF: OK! (or “well I don’t know”)
BF: “Today I pick, you pick tomorrow. We are going”
Here is another example of dominance in relationship. NEVER EVER ask your girlfriend to do anything. Just pitch that habit right away. You tell her. You can add “please” if you so wish.
Submissive: “baby, if you can, would you bring me ____?”
Aggressive dominant “Baby, bring me ___, please, thanks.”
First Date will determine the course of the relationship. THIS IS WHY it is important to be prepared. I cannot stand looking, anymore, at posts saying “FIRST DATE ASAP! NEED HELP. WHERE/What to do!??”
What the fuck is this shit!?
It’s a man’s job to plan a date. Whatever it is, does not matter. “umm well ahh we can meet up for coffee” is NOT a well planned date. However,
“Let’s grab some startbucks at Livingston Ave, talk for a little bit and then we’ll ‘play it by ear’”
Oh and important note “Play it by ear” is ABSOLUTELY pre-planned set of events that should come off spontaneously to her.
On a date, who pays?
Your date should not cost more than $20 for two. Starbucks macchiato is $4.00 and your cup of coffee is $2. Since you picked the place, you pay. I haven’t spent more than $10 on cup of coffee and a cupcake on first date.
You should have second place pre-planned, somewhere near your house.
IF YOU INVITE HER FOR DRINKS buy first round. If she likes you, she will buy you second. If she insists on paying for herself, I jokingly say “get out! I’ll take care of this, you’ll get me a drink/coffee some other day”
It’s also possible you’ll get “who says there will be another date?” shit-test question. THIS IS your time to shine with cocky answer: “with me, there is always second date, unless you screw it up!” while sporting a douchemile (douchebag arrogant half smile when you know you’re being cocky)
Ok this post is not about dating. I just wanted to give some examples.
You PICK places to eat. ALWAYS. Helps if you know what kind of food she does not eat or allergic to; if she doesn’t like it, she can suggest something else, and it’s OK to do that, but if she has no definite pick, you always pick.
You PICK where and what to do. Again, if she has something in mind, definite something, she wants to do, and you want to do it too, then do that. About 10% of the time my girlfriend knew what the fuck she wanted to do. Often you’ll hear “I wanna go dancing” or “I wanna cherry martini” or “I just wanna chill”. Those are her moods. Those are not her “plans”. Going to Voodoo lounge to dance in South Beach Friday Evening is a plan. “I just wanna go dance” is NOT a plan. “I just wanna chill” – is time to go get movie, make some popcorn and spend evening on the couch cuddling. Her moods change, if girl says, “I just wanna chill” and I am not jizzing my pants over watching some movie, I’ll suggest quiet local shit-hole in the wall bar for couple quiet calm drinks. Usually, that gets most girls in a good mood to ‘move somewhere fun’.
If you don’t assume leadership, majority of girls will not know what the hell they want. Your passive pussy behaviour will wind you up in an argument. Believe me guys, I was there too. A lot of arguments started from my indecisiveness. Indecisiveness is VERY un-attractive in men. Ask ANY woman.
You “make” decisions for her when she can’t. It’s not just women, but even men ask other men for advice. Sometimes it’s difficult situations that needs third party outsider input but sometimes it’s simple. “Baby, I don’t know what to wear” is her indecisiveness. Tell her “You look soo fucking sexy in that red dress you wore to Martini Park”. Is you making decisions for her. Don’t tell her she should wear it, don’t suggest it. TELL HER! She might say “I don’t know what I wanna eat today!” in a text message. Don’t ask her what she wants, she doesn’t know. Tell her “Chipotle!” or “Go to Subway!”
You don’t say “You should” or “If I were you” because those are passive aggressive. Make statements about what she did or will do and how it will make her feel/look. Instead of “honey you shouldn’t wear that dress” say “That black dress you have, does not make you look good.” Don’t be afraid to “offend her”, because you wont. If she asks you “how does this make me look?” and she looks fat in this, say “Don’t wear it.” If she says Why? Tell her “I don’t like it.” And point something better for her. You will NEVER see her wear that dress again. EVER! (Personal experience)
You always tell the truth no matter how offensive it sounds. I will cover why trust is important and how without it, you will fail. But don’t lie to your girls. If she asks questions you don’t want to answer, tell the truth “I don’t want to answer or have this discussion” or “you don’t want to know”
You put her in her place. This is probably singlehandedly the HOTTEST thing a man can do. A real man does not scream or criticize her. Real man approaches, really close looks into her eyes until she looks down in submission. Arguments are her battle ground because she will use her irrational logic. You can never win and winning the argument will only hunt you down in sweet-sweet revenge from her. You state your point and leave it at that. Unemotional. Stoic. Strong. You let her know that her little tantrums are not working. Waterworks have no effect on your behavior. (Of course some serious concerns need to be discussed, but majority of couple’s arguments are on irrelevant and useless topics)
Self Control, Self Respect and Self Satisfaction bring TRUST
You must ALWAYS exercise self control over your emotions and feelings, over how much you neg her, how you tease her and what you say. Eventually she will pickup on this, ha! Eventually is nearly immediate. Your self control develops trust from her. TRUST is one of the most important things in being dominant.
TRUST IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN BEING DOMINANT.
If she does not trust you, she will not follow you. A man that has a healthy self esteem and posses self control can be trusted. If she feels that you can handle yourself, she will let herself be handled by you.
A MAN that handles himself has self respect and self confidence that he can face any problems coming his ways. A VERY STRONG MAN not only faces his own problems but problems of his loved ones.
Only when she can see that you handle her shit tests, and life’s shit tests, and other people’s shit tests, ONLY THEN she will trust you.
TRUST IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN BEING DOMINANT.
Once she trusts you, you can do virtually everything with her. And by trust I mean, much deeper than “he wont cheat on me” kind of trust. That’s just beginning of it.
By exercising self control, whenever you do something, it’s precise, planned, thought through, organized, logical and managed action.
For example if you rush through kino escalation on first date and miscalibratedly “go for it”, you will break her trust.
If you get emotional and snap at her, you will break her trust. She will no longer think that you’re stoic and un-shakable.
If she throws you a HOOP and you jump through it, you will break her trust. No longer you have ability to remain un affected by outside world. She cannot rely on you now, because you bend backwards.
If you break down, emotionally, and “give up” she will no longer trust you that you can handle the world, life and perhaps a family one day.
If you get carried away with “love” and emotions, she will no longer trust you with other women. You’re easily manipulated. You can be emotionally dependant and will seek the next “fix”.
If you start asking for sex and sexual favors, she will no longer trust you that you can have your choices of women. Because, men with choices never have to ask. Even though this makes NO SENSE in relationship, because, you’re not supposed to have “choices” but from stand point of evolution and psychology it makes sense to her.
If you start “rewarding” her bad behavior she will no longer trust that you have self respect, she will no longer have respect for you either. A man that lost woman’s respect soon will lose that woman.
If you start telling your buddies about dirty little thing she does for you in bed, she will no longer trust that you will keep her good name in good standing. And now she looks like a “whore” to your friends, and “why are they all giving me dirty looks?”
SHE WILL WANT TO BE A GOOD WOMAN TO YOU because she TRUSTS you will do best for yourself, her and her children that you two *might* have one day.
A man with strong healthy emotions is hard to find. If you become that man who passes all her trust-tests, the kind of man who is NOT shaken by outside world, or inside turmoil in his own head, is the man who is reliable.
She can look up to this man for guidance and emotional stability. When her little emotions are screwing with her head, it’s this kind of man who can keep her in check.
Those are short-spoken truth I’ve heard my girlfriends say, my female friends say, my own mother say and few of my natural friends say.
“I trust you” is probably the most golden token of submission from her and accepting your lead dominant role. The SECOND you hear those words from your woman’s mouth is the second she started believing in you. She will believe in you in several ways:
She will, not always verbally, say “I trust that….
- I trust that….You will treat me great” – this is a loaded statement, because, “treating great” is keeping her in check. Women are emotional beings and often inner game turmoil makes them do irrational things and act stupid. This is biology. Sorry girls. AS A MAN, it is *YOUR JOB* …let me fucking repeat that, YOUR JOB AS A MAN is to handle those instabilities in your, hers and yours, world. YES she will act up. Yes she will throw you a curve ball, yes she will say one day “I am going to a club with some girlfriends” and you will dumb-fundedly say “ummm well ok….just …be safe” or maybe even “just don’t talk to any men!” WRONG! Why? Because, there is NOTHING you can do about this. You know what I usually say, “Tits! Baby, have a great night”
- I trust that….You will not hurt me and protect me” – probably the second most common reason why girls are subconsciously afraid to let the man lead. And I am talking about both, physical and emotional hurt here. She will trust you that you will not cheat on her and hurt her. She trusts you will not raise a hand on her or be abusive in other forms (remember, self control), she trusts that if someone were to disrespect her, you would stick up for her. This is Mystery 101 shit. Protection of loved ones. What the fuck I am telling you same thing again for?
- I trust that….You will not judge me!” FOCKING IMPORTANT! VERY! This is your KEY to kinky sex. She will watch how you talk about your exes. She will watch how you talk about girls with your buddies. She will ask you stories that will reveal how you think about women. She will tell you stories like “Jenni is such a slut. She is such a whore. I cannot believe she slept with that guy, and that guy, and whatever. I bet she has an STD”…and you dumb-fuck would happily say “oh yeah honey, she’s a skanky whore. Yeah I am glad you are not like that” WRONG! Now she knows that woman who’s promiscuous in your opinion is a whore. Now she knows that god forbid you’ll learn her past, she’ll be a whore too in your eyes. Well boys, she is not a whore. The right thing to say to that: “Baby, don’t talk about Jenni like that. Seriously. There is nothing wrong with women liking sex. I think she’s confident and just comparison shopping” Make a joke about it, but sound serious. This is where your true beliefs come in. If you really believe that that behavior is whorish, you need to rethink your beliefs. Because, if your buddy Bill told you about his friend Josh who’s fucking a new girl every other day, you’d call him a player and would probably want to know how he does this. Drop the double standard. And if you think that having multiple partners is “wrong” and unhealthy, you should still not judge people that do.
- I trust that….You will make me feel comfortable being myself”. Otherwise known as she will be ok with being a woman. This is probably a little caveat I missed and many other men miss for longest time. You need to embrace her womanhood. She will thank you for letting her be who she is. When she’s irrational she doesn’t want to reason and have logical discussion. When she wants sweet cuddling loving she’s being a woman. When she wants rough fast hardcore fucking, she’s being a woman. When she wants to have romantic picnic she’s being a woman. When she makes you dinner and puts candles on the table, two glasses of wine she’s being a woman. You love woman and what they do for you, themselves and people they care for. When it takes her 2 hours to get ready in the bathroom, account for it. You know it will take her that long. Planning is man’s job, remember? She is getting pretty FOR YOU, ASSHOLE! So don’t blame her for being late because “someone” had to spend 6 hours getting ready. Plan this into your arrival time, so you’re not late for the reservations. Thank her for being a woman. When she’s finally done getting ready, tell her she looks gorgeous, pretty or stunning. If she was going for “sexy” look then tell her she looks sexy. Come close to her, put your hands around her pull her in, whisper in her ear “baby, I already cannot wait till we get back, the things I will do to you” give her a kiss and pull away, take her hand and walk with her. When she made you dinner, eat with her, look into her eyes and tell her that it was great. Even if it wasn’t. She asked you “how was it?” you tell her it was great because she did it for you. When she’s washing the dishes after, come behind her, put your arms around her lean into her ear, kiss her neck and say “it turns me own when you are being such a good little girl” in low voice. Who knows, this might lead into makeout and passionate sex on the kitchen floor. When she’s being irrational, do not tell her she’s being irrational, do not tell her she’s acting stupid. Just let her vent. Give her a big hug, hold her close and tell her that “everything is going to be ok. Trust me, I will make it ok for you” RE-INFORCE that she can rely on you even if you physically cannot help her, she will still trust in your support.
Vulnerability and Sex
Nobody wants to be vulnerable. However, often, women become very vulnerable when they are intimate with men. Why? Because, in order for woman to orgasm, she has to LET GO of all her concerns, issues, and thinking, and accept that man in her; literally speaking: let a man enter her and know her on the level that only few got to.
The amount of trust she has with you will determine your sex experience.
(Side note, there is also the “amount of anonymity” factor. I’ve had some mind blowing one night stands, with girls I didn’t care about nor they cared about me. Because we both knew we don’t know who we are and chances of running into each other again are none)
If you have sexual experience and know what you’re doing you will naturally lead in bed. Even if she had more partners than you have had, she will still allow you to take her through sexual experience.
When a girl cums she’s very self conscious and she’s afraid you are going to judge her. The judgment factor plays in many other situations: If you “suggest” that she gives you a blow job in the bathroom at the bar, she will immediately think “he’s gonna tell all his buddies, and I will look like a slut” if she does NOT trust you.
However, if you’ve develop connection and TRUST with her, you can TELL her to do things. Because she doesn’t even think about it, all she thinks about is how please you will be. To woman pleasing a man is HOT. Often, girls I date cannot wait to suck my dick, not because, they love it, but because, they love the fact I love it. Their desire to please me sexually is very strong that it overpowers any ‘rational’ thought. You have experience with woman, you have sexual knowledge, she will want you to dominate her. IF you tell her “get on your knees”, she knows that it’s going to be fun. If you say “baby, can you please give me a blow job” she thinks “óh geez, not again…why can’t he just …be a man and just do it”
Same reason she wont be into it, and you will kill the mood if you say “baby wanna try doggy?” YES MORON! I Do. Now you killed the mood.
I’ve made that mistake once. My girl and I were really horny driving around town. We were both cranky from various events in our lives and a good car fucking would fix this. But I couldn’t find discreet spot, I was driving around, asking her if “this is good” or ”how about now”… well guess what I killed the mood and we nearly got into bickering. If I would have had my shit together, and pulled into empty parking lot without asking and told her to get in the back seat, it would have been different ending.
Girls want to be fucked. Fucked hard, soft, slow, fast, aggressively but they want to be fucked. They don’t want to “fuck” a guy. They want to be fucked. In bed assume ownership. Assume that she wants to do everything. If you want to fuck her doggy, bend her over put her on her knees and fuck her doggy. Also women like to be fucked in other places than bed and other times than before you fall asleep. Catch her coming out of the shower and grab her by the robe, pull her in the bedroom and fuck her on the floor. If you two are alone, at home, fuck her on the couch in living room. Fuck her in garage while working on your car. Call her over, “baby, I am thirsty, please bring me some water”, when she comes in pull her in for kissing and fuck her right then and there.
Girls like to be slutty, but they will never admit it. When she’s behind closed doors she fantasizes about men treating her like a dirty whore and degrading her. Those sexual fantasies are just fantasies, but often you can fill some of them. Usually, through dirty talking and role playing. Remember that everything you do in the bedroom is play. You don’t think she’s the whore in real life, but in bed she is. You treat her like one; some women enjoy being slapped, spanked, scratched, bitten, and abused. They like their hair pulled, they like you being rough on their nipples, they enjoy the hard pounding, they like that somewhat “forceful” nature of a man. You flip her around, toss her, grab her, pull her hair, slam her pussy with your dick, put your fingers in her mouth, slap her ass, suck on her neck and tits. She’s not as precious flower as you think she is. She can take it rough. Actually, I was blown by the fact how rough you can get with the girl and she would love it. Let me say that one of the girl, I casually dated, liked it soo rough that her friends seriously thought that we had a serious case of domestic abuse. She liked being slapped, spat on, and even pissed on. Once our sex was soo rough she had a huge red mark across her face I slapped her so hard. In the act, she didn’t feel anything but ecstasy. I am not saying that all girls like that. But it can get pretty rough.
If you want her to talk dirty, then take the lead and talk dirty to her first. Start slow but escalate. Good phrases to start with are (progressively):
“I like hearing you moan”
“you sound so hot when you suck me off”
“I like how your tits bouncing up and down when I fuck you like this”
“I want you to suck my cock like a good little girl”
“I want you to be my naughty girl tonight”
“you are soo good, wet, tight and slippery”
“I want you to be a little slut for me tonight”
“when you cum like a good slutty little girl makes me want to cover you with cum”
“god ..you’d look so hot with my cum all over your slutty body”
“oh baby…I like the noise you make when you suck my dick. When it’s soo deep in your throat”
“I love how you choke on me. I like how you gag. You like your mouth fucked”
“I want to cover your face your tits and your pretty slutty mouth. You’ll be my sexy whore tonight”
Ask her questions, “How does it feel to be filled by me?”
“You look so hot when you cum …do you like when I pull your hair as you cum”
“what will my slutty little girl do to please me?”
“who are you? Are you my little slut??”
“you’re such a whore, I love when you get pounded by me, do you like being my worthless whore?”
I have personally uttered those lines to more than one girl I’ve been with. After a while you develop sense of novelty a girl would have. Some wont really care much for whore-master play.
Give her roles and names. Several times I would tell my girlfriend “I am picking you up at 10, dress slutty, we are going to pickup girls tonight, wear a skirt and no panties” (my gf was bisexual).
Tell her to dress up for you. But make sure you dress up for her. If you want her to have her tits half exposed with pushup bra, make sure you dress in sexy button up and designer jeans with NICE shoes. She will directly reflect you. If you wear shorts, flip flops and t-shirt, she’ll wear same thing. I don’t think a girl looks as hot in casual tee and shorts combination as she does in a dress, skirt, and blouse.
Ever single girl that I’ve been with, “Good girl” and naught girl, likes when man manhandles her. It’s very hard to explain in text, but almost all your actions should be determined. You should not hesitate. You need to be confident and handle her like if you handling something you’re used to.
If you want to fuck her in the ass, assuming you’ve done it before, start by playing around her asshole with your finger. Anal sex is best left for “when you two are drunk” or “right out of the shower”. Otherwise she’ll get self conscious. When she’s drunk she won’t care. Some girls are absolutely not into anal. Nothing you can change about that. Some girls are not into other girls. Nothing you can change about that either. No matter how dominant you are. But if you want to do it, don’t make an ‘event’ out of it. Don’t approach it as “TONIGHT is the BIG NIGHT we try anal”. Just go for it. Play with her ass a little bit, if she tells you to stop, stop. Don’t question it. Come back to it in a little bit, she’ll probably tell you “I don’t wanna do it” You can say “If it hurts I’ll stop” …she might need a little bit ‘convincing’ but all you need to convey to her that you know what you’re doing and she should trust you. “Baby, I know how to do it right, you won’t hurt, I promise, trust me” Then again if she says no, then she says no. She also needs to know that she wont hear through the grapevine from her friends that she was fucked in the ass. So don’t yap your mouth. This shows in your conversations about your exes. If she knows you are discreet she will want you do a lot of things to her and with her.
Sometimes, if you’re very determined it might take several one-on-one talks about things you two should try. But never ask. Dominant guys don’t ask. “Baby, we should try anal sometimes” If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t say it; if she asked you If you’ve done it before, say yes. She needs to feel safe and that you’re not going to hurt her. Again, when doing it, self control comes in a major play. You have to be SOOOO SLOW AND GENTLE and it takes a lot of patient. If you cannot control yourself, you’ll find it hard to do it right and you’ll end up hurting the girl.
It’s a lot easier to find a girl that’s already into girls than trying to convince your girlfriend to have one. Because, then she’ll “do you a favor” and she wont enjoy it. Plus there will be a lot of awkwardness and jealousy.
Dominant Male Attitudes and Behaviors
You do not “own” her but you do in a way. She’s not your possession but she’s there for you to “use” and enjoy. I know this sounds pretty sexist, but it is true. Women want to “belong” to a man. We are not talking about financial or materialistic way. We are talking about emotional and psychological way. You don’t own any rights to her but being intimate gives you right to touch her where ever you want on her body. It also gives you sexual access to her. In other words you should never ask for sex. In fact, most of the time, if you’re REALLY good she will be asking you for sex. Trust me.
Dominant men are good in bed. LEARN! Practice multiple orgasm, exercise your PC muscle, whatever it takes to get good. Read books, watch porn, do whatever you can. My good friend once said, that if you fuck woman 4 times and out of all those fucks JUST ONE was ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING - toe curling, and the other three sucked, she will come around just to occasionally catch that ONE GOOD FUCKING. Needless to say he has no issues getting girls.
Alpha male are dominant in life over almost everything they do. This is why “quarter back of the team” bangs cheerleaders. Because football players are usually dominant, they own the game, they strive to win. That’s dominance. If you’re not athlete, learn to be dominant in other aspects of your life.
You can do no wrong. This is pretty selfish thing to think. But a human can do no wrong. Human makes mistakes. A bit zen-ish but think of your life as experience. All the decisions you make are good and sound at that specific moment. However, it might not be good and sound after you suffered the consequences. And as a man you are responsible for ALL your actions, often action of your loved ones too. Guys with kids know exactly what this means.
Always push the envelope! Be bold. Dominant man are bold. They don’t pussyfoot around the bush. You want something get it.
Dominant man says “NO” more often than he says yes.
Your cocky and funny only works when you have dominant frame behind it. When you tease her and neg her out of bitterness and angriness, you may hit on her self esteem and actually manage to get her. But eventually you will run out of ‘juice’ and she will see the true submissive you. So when you tease and play always come out on top. Girls are not competitive and they secretly like when guys put them down. Use common sense.
Treat her like a little kid. I don’t know why but girls love it. Freud would probably mention obsession with father figure. But Freud is a sick fuck.
Give her nicknames. She’s bunny, cutie, kitty, etc. Those are diminishing nicknames that are fun to address her by when you’re being sweet. Be sweet. “How’s my kitty doing today?” is much better than “How’s your day honey?” ; this can get pretty gay, one time my girlfriend and I got carried away with LOLCats.com and the “lol”-speak; embarrassed to admit it, we acted like two 7 year old kids. Petz tahk wif the kittah n bein cutez kan be fuhn! Don’t talk like a retard with her like this all the time, but you can act “ghey” once in a while. Shows your childish nature.
I touch my girlfriends a lot. I don’t touch them in public where other people see, but I discreetly touch her whenever I can. If you catch yourself in empty hallway, make out. Push her against the wall and kiss her. Get her turned on. Girls love being turned on in places they can’t have sex. If I am in the club dancing with her, find a dark spot and finger her inconspicuously.
Send her dirty text messages, and write her naughty fantasy emails. I will actually make a WHOLE thread on dirty talking. I’ve perfected this art
Kissing. Dominant man go in for a kiss and pull out first. Makes her want more. No rocket science here. Don’t use your tongue too much. When making out I almost ALWAYS put my hand behind her head and pull her hair gently. You run your fingers between her hair close to the scalp, and form a fist but don’t yank on it.
Holding. When she’s in your arms she needs to feel safe. If you don’t have big arms you can still make her feel safe. She has to be sinking inside of you and look small in your arms. She can lie on your chest and listen to your heart beat. Pull her in closer. Always pull her in closer.
Compliments. Remember compliment coming from high value person carries high value. If you compliment how good she looks, how amazing she can cook, how fun she is, how funny her stories are you’re promoting her self esteem. You want her to feel confident about herself. Often times when she’s down, sick, having hormonal week, or just having bad week, compliments can make her day, also brings me to:
FLOWERS and small gifts. If you dated more than two months, and you haven’t bought her flowers, go out and get her small bouquet tomorrow! No roses, though. For her birthday she gets roses. I am bad with flowers but some of my natural friends do this and do this right. They send small little flowers to her work place, with “Smile, you big dork!” notes. Send her a card. Stupid shit like this will make her go “awwwww he’s soo sweet”. You’re going for AWW effect. You’re not buying her affection, because, you already have it.
Texting and calling. I think it’s better to spend some time on quality text back-and-forth or a good conversation over the phone than small short texts back and forth through the day. Remember we all have lives outside of our girlfriends. Spend time doing shit you need to be doing instead of talking to her all day.
She is NOT your priority in life. She’s accompanying bonus. She is NOT the one, she’s not ‘the girl you gonna marry’ she’s not ‘love from first sight’ she’s there to accompany you on your life journey. Marriage is not ultimate destination. If you choose monogamy. Marriage is institutional legal agreement.
Her head games are just that. Her head games. There will be times she will test you. She will start playing head games, flirting with boys in front of you, ignoring you, throwing scandals. This is a good sign that you are slipping and your frame is getting weak and she’s losing respect for you. Typically, small little shit tests, here and there, are done to assure her little self that you’re the man she met and you haven’t changed. Typically, small shit tests are cries for attention. Typically, when women get hormonal and feel neglected.
However, when her head games get SERIOUS, you have two choices: pickup yourself and figure out what is slipping. Typically it’s your fault. You’re getting overly jealous, you’re getting clingy, or you’re getting needy. Or second: dump her and find something new. I don’t wanna hear “we dated for 10 years” crap. Maybe 9 of those 10 years were great and last year was miserable. Let’s not make rest of your life miserable. Move on. Most of failing relationships are not salvageable.
Politically incorrect mentality to have:
Some of those are not necessarily serious but take them at least half seriously.
- She’s here to please me
- She’s hot girl and I like her body
- Those tits are for me to hold, grab, bite, lick, suck, etc. Whenever I want.
- My dick belongs in her pussy and her mouth
- She is excited to give me blow job. She gets to suck me off
- She can’t wait to have me inside of her
- I will keep her happy if she keeps me happy first
- She comes to me, for me, and before me.
- In bed her body belongs to me. I can cum on it wherever I want.
- She can’t get enough of my cum to swallow. (I know girls like this)
- Yes, she’s “that kind of girl” and I think it’s hot
- I don’t judge her for her past. Everyone loves getting strange
- There are no whores, sluts, or skanks in this world. Only kinky fantasies
- I never ask permission for ANYTHING
- I come first except in bed
- If I cum first, I’ll make sure to cum again, so she can cum for me
- She cums for me. Her orgasm is for me. It’s her way of thanking me of a good lay
- Sex in public places is not a big deal.
- “If you don’t make it a big deal, it won’t be a big deal” –Savoy
- Girls come and go. They are like colds
- I don’t keep her on the leash. She can always walk away.
- Only three mistakes are allowed. For you and for her
- She wants you to do things to her, not lets you.
- By the time you slip fourth time, she has already slipped and fell on someone else’s dick
- I will take and consider your input, but decision is ultimately up to me
- It’s My Way Or High Way
- I don’t meet you in the middle, you need to come 75%
- The time it takes you to get over her is equivalently proportional to amount of emotional investment you’ve put into her and relationship. ~ Paraphrased Paul Janka
If you think some of those are FUCKED UP, like I said, take them half seriously but I have NO problem telling those beliefs to any girl I meet, date or fuck.
Sense of Entitlement
Dominance is knowing that you have full earthly right to do or act certain way. The more sense of entitlement you posses the more dominant you’ll be. If you feel that you’re entitled to something and you go out and “get it” (well, legally of course) you just showed your determination.
You need to learn how to walk this earth like you entitled to have ANY woman you want. Your smile, your attitude, your eyes, your body language, should convey that you’re here and you’re here to get what you want. Guys like those; you see them in bars and on the street, ooze the dominance. They are true alphas, somewhat intimidating. Be one of them. Take space. Take actions. Don’t “squeeze by”. Parade your way through.
No excuses. Dominant men do not make excuses.
If you came too soon and she didn’t, don’t make excuses “umm well I was tired” and shit like this. You probably are. But you owe her one now. Better fuck her brain out of her next time.
Do not ever apologize for your shortcomings. In your own world you’re perfect. Having a little arrogant attitude, healthy one, will get you far with girls. You don’t need to think you’re the best thing since sliced bread…oh wait, you should.
Books to read:
At your leasure: “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida
Definitely get Relationship Management program. It helped me verbalize a lot of things I’ve done naturally. Savoy really has his shit figured out.
Paul Janka – he has a lot of truth in his words. Google him he has several products out as well as some free info.
Mode One – probably one of the best guys to show how to be a real man. I like his style of communication. He’s got some products out
Zen Mack – haven’t heard from him in a while. He has some free videocasts and podcasts. It’s good, a little bit too ‘spiritual’for me.
The Fine Art of Erotic Talk by Bonnie Gabriel
Tucker Max – “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” as well as his website. A true “asshole”
“A Complete Assholes Guide to Handling Chicks” by Karl Marks and Dan Indante FUNNY AS HELL
David Shade and Bring out her Inner Slut. It’s an audio program. Good shit, even though I think he’s kinda creepy
Anyways, If I missed something please, tell me!
Last edited by TrueStory; 08-23-2009 at 12:23 PM.
08-22-2009, 10:17 PM #2
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5 star post!
08-22-2009, 10:21 PM #3
i like this. good read
08-23-2009, 02:29 AM #4
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Possibility one of the best posts on this forum. Fantastic read, and awesome information about real dominance. Thanks alot for your input.
08-23-2009, 03:55 AM #5
08-23-2009, 04:45 AM #6
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All I can say is, Thank You.
08-23-2009, 05:58 AM #7
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This was fantastic, everything you have written is 100% true.
Everyone should read this.
08-23-2009, 06:22 AM #8
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This is absolute GOLD !
08-23-2009, 06:56 AM #9
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Great shit, man.
Grade A, fucking tight ass shit.
5 star rating, and a vote for Best of the Forum.
08-23-2009, 07:37 AM #10
Dominant male: Do eeet!!
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